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I have a 16 year old, no way would I try this type of scenario. There comes a point when we parents have to realize that if our kids are going to be sneaky there is nothing we can do.
There is a lot you can do. Whether you want to do it or not is a different story but I don't believe that parents just have to throw their hands up and let their teens do whatever they want to do. They are still young and need guidance.
Why wouldn't you try this type of scenario? Are you afraid of your child's reaction? Are you afraid of their friends' reactions?
There is a lot you can do. Whether you want to do it or not is a different story but I don't believe that parents just have to throw their hands up and let their teens do whatever they want to do. They are still young and need guidance.
Why wouldn't you try this type of scenario? Are you afraid of your child's reaction? Are you afraid of their friends' reactions?
I don't see the point of the Mother checking out the friends group at the mall. What is she going to learn?
I never said you throw your hands up but unless you are with your kid 24/7 there comes a point where you cannot control their every move, their every action and IMO by the time they are 15/16 a parent should not be with them 24/7.
If you want to know your kids friends, have them to your house as often as you can manage to convince them to come. This is how you get to know your kids friends. Then just listen. My DD has her friends over all the time, all I do is feed them (often lol) and listen, I listen a LOT! I also shuttle them all over the place, to the movies, to the mall, to each others homes, to/from school etc. Again, listen.............
A meet and greet at the mall has awkward written all over it for a group of teenage girls. I am not afraid of my kid or their reactions but I am aware that at this age they are very easily embarrassed and I don't see the point of embarrassing needlessly.
My first guess would be that the mom wants to make sure her daughter is meeting girls, and not a boy.
But, I don't see anything unusual about a parent wanting to meet the kids their child is hanging out with, especially when the kids haven't even met before. We've all read missing child cases (and C-D outrage) where a parent can't supply any information about the group their teen was meeting up with.
I imagine if the mother doesn't like what she sees, then her daughter will return home with her.
Like any teenager would lie to their parents and tell them they are meeting people of the same sex when in fact they are meeting a squeeze . Sheesh Mattie, what planet are you from?
She wants to know who her kids are hanging out with. She wants to make sure they're female, check out their clothing, etc. Either the mom was a wildcat in her days and now doesn't trust the daughter, or the daughter has lied before, IMHO.
I'm soooooooooo confused! When I was 15, I hung in a group of between 3 and 5 of us. The one girl was such a liar but all the parents thought she was such a good person because she put on a good show. It took me a couple of years to figure out exactly the type of person she was. Anyone who says that a 15 y/o has good judgement skills must be living in a dream world or you have a perfect child. Do some research on the teen brain, it's not fully developed in decision making until at least age 25 or older according to some studies.
I'm 58 and still tend to see the good in people when in reality, they're sneaks.
Maybe the Mother has seen her daughter be bullied and wants to make sure that she's not being set up to be a target again.
I don't understand why the girls would be offended by meeting someone's Mother. What's the big deal unless they have something to hide?
We live in a cruel world and that Mom is looking out for her daughter.
I'm soooooooooo confused! When I was 15, I hung in a group of between 3 and 5 of us. The one girl was such a liar but all the parents thought she was such a good person because she put on a good show. It took me a couple of years to figure out exactly they type of person she was. Anyone who says that a 15 has good judgement skills must be living in a dream world or you have a perfect child. Do some research on the teen brain, it's not fully developed in decision making until at least age 25 or older according to some studies.
I'm 58 and still tend to see the good in people when in reality, they're sneaks.
Maybe the Mother has seen her daughter be bullied and wants to make sure that she's not being set up to be a target again.
I don't understand why the girls would be offended by meeting someone's Mother. What's the big deal unless they have something to hide?
We live in a cruel world and that Mom is looking out for her daughter.
My daughter (15 yes old) is meeting friends at a local large mall nearby. It's something they do often as most kids do. It will be during the day and usually between 12-3 pmish. They are all girls and probably will get nails done, window shop and giggle at boys. (Fyi, as far as I know, they never had a boyfriend yet and still in that awkward stage)
A friend is bringing a new girl that the others have not met yet. I'm dropping off the 4 girls to meet this new girl at the mall. Friend said new girl's mom needs to meet the girls first. My daughter said you mean meet my mom? And no, the mom needs to meet all the girls first to see if it's okay for her daughter to meet them and hang out. Not just the one that invited the new girl.
I never heard such a thing. Is this normal? I've met other moms in person or on the phone of course, but I've never had a mom needing to see the kids themselves. What if she doesn't like them, then what?
Yes. I agree. THEN what?
I don't know for sure why. But this never happened to me when my children were teenagers. That sounds like a normal activity for people of that age group.
It isn't normal to have to meet the girls. It's very strange and I am not liking it. Who is she? The Evaluator? There to judge every girl? It seems overly cautious. And potentially awkward.
And, so what if in between shopping and getting their nails done they meet up with some boys at the food court? I seem to remember doing the very same thing.
I'm soooooooooo confused! When I was 15, I hung in a group of between 3 and 5 of us. The one girl was such a liar but all the parents thought she was such a good person because she put on a good show. It took me a couple of years to figure out exactly the type of person she was. Anyone who says that a 15 y/o has good judgement skills must be living in a dream world or you have a perfect child. Do some research on the teen brain, it's not fully developed in decision making until at least age 25 or older according to some studies.
I'm 58 and still tend to see the good in people when in reality, they're sneaks.
Maybe the Mother has seen her daughter be bullied and wants to make sure that she's not being set up to be a target again.
I don't understand why the girls would be offended by meeting someone's Mother. What's the big deal unless they have something to hide?
We live in a cruel world and that Mom is looking out for her daughter.
You're contradicting yourself some. You say the parents thought she was such a good person because she put on a good show, but then you say the kids aren't able to make good decisions. We've all known such people in life. I have a pretty good radar, but I've been fooled once or twice myself, as an adult.
I don't know how the mom could size these girls up as potential bullies at a quick meeting.
I'm not liking these girls being accused of "something to hide", being "bad girls", etc.
I don't know for sure why. But this never happened to me when my children were teenagers. That sounds like a normal activity for people of that age group.
It isn't normal to have to meet the girls. It's very strange and I am not liking it. Who is she? The Evaluator? There to judge every girl? It seems overly cautious. And potentially awkward.
And, so what if in between shopping and getting their nails done they meet up with some boys at the food court? I seem to remember doing the very same thing.
I don't see the big deal, and I would encourage my daughter to be gracious about it. Other awkward meetings will be sure to follow them through life, they may as well learn to handle them with aplomb.
Two of my sons were asked to meet the parent of potential college roommates before those parents agreed to the living arrangements the kids had worked out. I asked one son what he thought of it, and he just shrugged it off. He was quite confident that the parents would approve of him, and they did.
You're contradicting yourself some. You say the parents thought she was such a good person because she put on a good show, but then you say the kids aren't able to make good decisions. We've all known such people in life. I have a pretty good radar, but I've been fooled once or twice myself, as an adult.
I don't know how the mom could size these girls up as potential bullies at a quick meeting.
I'm not liking these girls being accused of "something to hide", being "bad girls", etc.
I made a grammar error in placing the last sentence in with that paragraph. If you find that to be a contradiction, then our definition of contradiction varies. I stated studies showing a brain is not fully developed in decision making until age 25 or older. I don't understand where the contradiction is in those 2 sentences. If I'm wrong, I apologize.
Contradiction : the act of saying something that is opposite or very different in meaning to something else.
Being the mother of 2 sons that were bullied, I'm being an advocate for the "other Mother".
I'm sorry that I came off as "accusing" the girls of being "bad girls". It was not my intent. My intent is to show there are 3 sides to every story and in this case it's the girls, the other Mother and the truth.
The "new" girl was being honest to the new friends. She shouldn't have said anything to them, then we wouldn't be here.
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. Sheesh Mattie, what planet are you from?
