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My guess is that she did not mean to make any announcement at all. She probably told her daughter, "Penelope, I am going to stroll in with you to check out these girls so I can say hi and see them." Penelope probably complained to Leah, "OMGawd, my mom is, like, so lame. She's insisting on coming in with me so she can meet all of you." Leah then may have passed on the announcement to her friends by saying, "Penelope's mom wants to meet all of us. I guess she wants to make sure we're worthy or something." Then the friends likely discussed it and decided that Penelope's mom is a control freak who will never see any of them as being good enough for her daughter.
Teens are full of drama even when they're not. Just the fact that they think they're being judged because someone's mom wants to say hi is dramarrific. They don't tend to think past how things impact them, because that is what is developmentally appropriate for a 15-year-old. They are probably all awesome kids, but get a group of giggly teen girls together, and you have escalation and group-think that is absurd to adults... even though most of us went through it ourselves.
I think something close to this sounds more likely than the mom making a pronouncement that she needs to check these girls out to see if they are "good enough" to hang with her daughter.
Leah was actually the one to offer everyone's numbers and my number.
And it does sound corny when I say they are good kids and provide examples because apparently this is a rarity according to this thread. In the end it's the Internet, I know what I know and you guys can only go by your experiences. It's had given me much insight and better understanding. I will once again share this, these girls are a bit awkward and don't fit the norm of their schools. Not super pretty, not athletic, not flirty, doesn't wear the latest style, not rich etc. They are more sensitive to the implication of being judged. I did try to tell them otherwise but the mom in question didn't make it easy for me . It was never dramatic. And it was over the day it started. I started this thread because it was unusual this mom's response and I apparently didn't convey that strangeness well. Many of the responses of just the mom meeting the girls briefly is what normal here, this wasn't. But again you don't know me or can't see what I see and can only go by your experiences. I get that. Thank you all for your posts
So, in any event, the cell phone numbers were offered to the mom, including the # of a parent (you).
On this board, threads sometimes turn into "groupthink". You know, one person starts in with how these kids must have something to hide, etc, and the whole board starts saying "Yes! Exactly!".
I am in agreement with you; I think this is kind of strange. I raised two daughters to adulthood, and though I don't recall a specific example, I'm pretty sure something like this came up, where my daughter and a friend went to meet some other friends who I did not know.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnotherTouchOfWhimsy
My guess is that she did not mean to make any announcement at all. She probably told her daughter, "Penelope, I am going to stroll in with you to check out these girls so I can say hi and see them." Penelope probably complained to Leah, "OMGawd, my mom is, like, so lame. She's insisting on coming in with me so she can meet all of you." Leah then may have passed on the announcement to her friends by saying, "Penelope's mom wants to meet all of us. I guess she wants to make sure we're worthy or something." Then the friends likely discussed it and decided that Penelope's mom is a control freak who will never see any of them as being good enough for her daughter.
Teens are full of drama even when they're not. Just the fact that they think they're being judged because someone's mom wants to say hi is dramarrific. They don't tend to think past how things impact them, because that is what is developmentally appropriate for a 15-year-old. They are probably all awesome kids, but get a group of giggly teen girls together, and you have escalation and group-think that is absurd to adults... even though most of us went through it ourselves.
Well, that's not how it's been conveyed, and that's not the tone the OP's mom picked up.
So, in any event, the cell phone numbers were offered to the mom, including the # of a parent (you).
On this board, threads sometimes turn into "groupthink". You know, one person starts in with how these kids must have something to hide, etc, and the whole board starts saying "Yes! Exactly!".
I am in agreement with you; I think this is kind of strange. I raised two daughters to adulthood, and though I don't recall a specific example, I'm pretty sure something like this came up, where my daughter and a friend went to meet some other friends who I did not know.
Well, that's not how it's been conveyed, and that's not the tone the OP's mom picked up.
Agreed - but remember the OP heard it third(?) hand. Bringing to mind the old party game of "telephone", in which the original message is usually unrecognizable after several retellings.
My daughter (15 yes old) is meeting friends at a local large mall nearby. It's something they do often as most kids do. It will be during the day and usually between 12-3 pmish. They are all girls and probably will get nails done, window shop and giggle at boys. (Fyi, as far as I know, they never had a boyfriend yet and still in that awkward stage)
A friend is bringing a new girl that the others have not met yet. I'm dropping off the 4 girls to meet this new girl at the mall. Friend said new girl's mom needs to meet the girls first. My daughter said you mean meet my mom? And no, the mom needs to meet all the girls first to see if it's okay for her daughter to meet them and hang out. Not just the one that invited the new girl.
I never heard such a thing. Is this normal? I've met other moms in person or on the phone of course, but I've never had a mom needing to see the kids themselves. What if she doesn't like them, then what?
I can't imagine a situation where I would let my children hang around with anyone that I hadn't met first, outside of school. You can bet that if my daughter is planning on hanging out at the mall I'm going to know exactly who she is hanging out with and have a fairly specific idea of what they will be doing.
ETA: I just ran this past my nearly 11 year old daughter, and she doesn't understand why you would have a problem with the parent meeting the girls before allowing her daughter to hang out with them.
I can't imagine a situation where I would let my children hang around with anyone that I hadn't met first, outside of school. You can bet that if my daughter is planning on hanging out at the mall I'm going to know exactly who she is hanging out with and have a fairly specific idea of what they will be doing.
ETA: I just ran this past my nearly 11 year old daughter, and she doesn't understand why you would have a problem with the parent meeting the girls before allowing her daughter to hang out with them.
I agree entirely with your post and would never drop off my 10 year old at the mall period. I didn't let them go till they are 13 and I stayed at the mall with them. If you read rest of the posts you would have seen that.
In any case it's long over and definitely an eye opener of a thread.
I can't imagine a situation where I would let my children hang around with anyone that I hadn't met first, outside of school. You can bet that if my daughter is planning on hanging out at the mall I'm going to know exactly who she is hanging out with and have a fairly specific idea of what they will be doing.
ETA: I just ran this past my nearly 11 year old daughter, and she doesn't understand why you would have a problem with the parent meeting the girls before allowing her daughter to hang out with them.
I guess it's a good thing that no one suggested not meeting the kids....it's how the mother went about it that was very odd and disrespectful to the teens.
Then again I see that quite a few in this thread don't think very highly of teenagers in general....so if you view them all as lying drama queens then I can see where the problem is.
I'm cutting through all the other replies and adding mine (c'mon, it's 11 pages)
Kids lie. Then they lie about lying. Sorry. If you think your kids don't lie to you then God bless you but when you realize they do, remember I told you so.
I seriously wouldn't allow my young teenage girl to hang out at the mall for 4 hours. (in some areas that's not allowed) I'd go with them, sit with a book (if I wasn't into shopping around) and expect them to check in with me every half hour. I can guarantee they'll stop asking to go to the mall.
If all they wanted to do is hang out, why don't they go hang out at your house? Hmmmm?
I can't believe parents DON'T want to meet their kids' friends!
My daughter (15 yes old) is meeting friends at a local large mall nearby. It's something they do often as most kids do. It will be during the day and usually between 12-3 pmish. They are all girls and probably will get nails done, window shop and giggle at boys. (Fyi, as far as I know, they never had a boyfriend yet and still in that awkward stage)
A friend is bringing a new girl that the others have not met yet. I'm dropping off the 4 girls to meet this new girl at the mall. Friend said new girl's mom needs to meet the girls first. My daughter said you mean meet my mom? And no, the mom needs to meet all the girls first to see if it's okay for her daughter to meet them and hang out. Not just the one that invited the new girl.
I never heard such a thing. Is this normal? I've met other moms in person or on the phone of course, but I've never had a mom needing to see the kids themselves. What if she doesn't like them, then what?
I don't get it but all I had was a boy. He is mid twenties
What is the problem with the Mother needing to meet to ensure the kids are alright for her daughter to hang with? Sounds like a great Mom to me. Whether the parents are good, well the kid isn't hanging out with them so it seems less important
That really sucks. So because this girl's mom is a little overprotective, you're letting your kid take it out on the girl, the one that has no control over it? Why not teach your kid to be more accepting of other people instead? Who is the adult here?
Good question. This story is so bizarre and the mother here, the OP, seems a bit full of drama
If my kid was judged, em..by some Mother, who cares? He sure wouldn't. He's been in a similar situation as a 17 yr old boy
He was to take a 15 yr old girl out for the first time. Showed up to find out the father was going along too to the Movies. But he paid for them all and even bought them popcorn. Our son thought he was very nice and enjoyed him coming along. At first we thought it odd but kept it to ourself. I mean it's not anything bad so why make it out to be? I mean it wont hurt our son even if he didn't approve of him, They later invited him over for dinner and they spent alot of time at her house watching movies and playing games with the whole family
It didnt work out so they moved on.
Life is too short for Parents to engage in such teenage drama with their kids. So many instigate it, I say turn off your TV set. Become a real family so these petty things won't concern you so much
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