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OK so it seems 7 minutes most people believe is too short. We'll let her try in increments up to 10-12 minutes and let her see how much time it takes to really shower. Both girls are basically taking 2 showers every day in the summer. The first one in the morning to go to school or camp and the 2nd one in the afternoons when they get out of the swimming pool. If they don't play outside the rest of the day they have the choice to not bathe the next morning but both seem to want to. During the winter I don't even want them to shower ever day but again this is their choice. They are developing young ladies and I think they should be very careful about hygiene and I suspect they will want to shower every day even during the winter. They are just now starting to use deodorant-although not regularly. it isn't a habit yet.
Since this girl is a bit pokey in the morning we are thinking a shorter shower time may mean she is less rushed getting out the door to school. During the school year they are up and out of bed between 6:15 and 6:30, one eats while the other one showers and then vice versa. But in the summer time they don't have to use the hair dryer and we will have to figure in that time too once school starts in 3 weeks. You'd think an hour in the mornings would be enough to shower, dry hair, get dressed, eat breakfast, make school lunch, pick up things for school which are organized the night before but sometimes she is still pokey. But she has some "special needs" so we give her extra time. If she gets up at the same time she is used to but has 15 or 20 minutes more every morning since she will be in middle school and it starts later than elementary school maybe we can be a bit more lax about shower time. The issue isn't so much how long she is in the shower as it is if there will be enough hot water for the rest of the family. I am thinking my husband - who is really the one proposing such short shower time- hasn't really tested how quickly the hot water recovers between showers. He spent his youth in Oklahoma where drought is part of every day life so maybe he is still in that "we're gonna run out of water" mindset.
Perhaps you could try packing lunches the night before and keep in the fridge. That's what I used to do, and found it helped to ease the stress of mornings.
What size hot water heater do you have? We have a 50-gal, and never have a problem running out of hot water, although we do have to stage things a bit. Perhaps you should look into upgrading your water system. A new 50 gal hot water heater should cost around $500, which might just be worth it to ease the stress the current situation seems to be causing.
OP, learn to pick your battles. If we all could find such simple solutions for problems, such as pack lunch the night before, upgrade the water system, well......then we would have more emotional energy for the real battles
Seriously, I do remember the shower issue as being a major problem in my teen years. It became a springboard for other issues, which did not lead to any positive outcomes. Don't let your family structure deteriorate because of a relatively minor issue.
Slightly different take: I hate low-flow shower heads. They actually slow me down.
I have a shower hose with a shut-off button on the nozzle.
I bring the water up to temperature and wet down my body, then push the shut-off button and apply soap and scrub. If I'm shaving that day, I run a little water in a wash tub and then hit the shut-off button. I soap up (shampoo should sit on oily hair for a bit), shave, rinsing off the razor in the wash tub, then use that water to rinse one leg and then turn the water back on and rinse. If my hair needs a second shampoo, I do that quickly.
I've timed myself because it has been necessary to cut the water bill. The water is actually running for around 5 minutes, and I'm in the shower about 10 minutes or so, total.
I do have short hair.
If I have a back ache and need hot water therapy, that's a different matter. I only turn the water on about half-way and time that, too. Usually about 7 minutes will do the trick.
I learned to do this as a teenager while camping in an RV because water had to be conserved. My uncle made us take 4-minute showers and I had to beg for a little extra time since my hair was longer then.
I probably would get a low-flow shower hose if I had a teen in the house. I'm not sure I'd say anything, unless they were running the water full-force for more than 20 minutes at a time. More than that will empty my small hot water heater.
I Don't Think we have ever used more then the minimum billable amount of water for our water system.
5,000 Gal/Month. So other then the Natural Gas, the water does not cost me any more he could take a 1,000 gallon shower and we would still have water to space.
Joan- I see you are new to CD. Welcome. Most people on here know a thing or two about each other. Many know about me and my family. My girls were adopted from Vietnam when they were 3 and 7 months old. DH (dear husband) was 63 and I was 55. These girls are numbers 6 and 7 kids so I've had a bit of experience raising children. The girl in question has IQ of 73. 70 is deemed mentally retarded. She can be a real challenge at times. She has to be directed a bit more than any of my other kids.
I as well as many on here like to get the opinions of others about many parenting (and other) issues. That DOES NOT mean we have to take the suggestions. it simply means we are interested in what others are doing or thinking. To the parents who say their kids take 30 minute showers should i deduce that my kids shall be allowed to take the same lengthy shower? No way. Am I suggesting all kids should take shorter showers like we do in our family? No way.
I agreed that 7 minutes was probably not long and told where that number originated. (I also think having been in the military for many years my husband is used to very quick showers.)
You seem to think the purpose of an opinion thread means the person asking for opinions should "take them all to heart " and change her ways. Let's see. I should
1) change out the 7 year old water heater
2) let her shower till the hot water runs out
3) make her use another bathroom in the house
4) make her shower at night
5) make her lunch the night before
6) let her do whatever she pleases, after all she has only one childhood
7) I should not be able to view or hear what she does in the shower
8) get her up earlier
well I really can't say much more cause I have to get busy "taking to heart all these opinions and suggestions "and start making changes to adjust my family to the way other families do things.
Am I the only one positively amazed that this is even a concern? Are you scared your daughter is going to drown in a SHOWER? Is this really a problem worth taking the time to post about? Stunned.
After reading through this thread, I see no reason that your daughter shouldn't be done in 7 minutes, especially if this is her second shower of the day. Rather than just a simple timer to be seen, how about creating a playlist of songs (2-3 songs?) for her to listen to while showering. Once she hears that last song begin she will know it is time to settle down and finish up. I would also suggest that your shower with the rainfall shower head be used as a special treat -- maybe a reward on a certain night of the week where she gets a longer shower time if she has kept to her 7-minute showers throughout the week?
I like the play list and she would enjoy putting that together. Wonder if she could hear it in the shower?
I don't think the shower head can be adjusted. I've never tried that and since her sister is right on her heels for her shower it would mean having to change it back for her and obviously she could not reach it. ut thanks for the practical idea. I'll ask her tonight.
Am I the only one positively amazed that this is even a concern? Are you scared your daughter is going to drown in a SHOWER? Is this really a problem worth taking the time to post about? Stunned.
We are trying to teach her consideration for the rest of the family. And why did you take the time to respond with this post? Stunned!
A little suggestion----you say her hair is long and gets frizzy overnight? Have your tried braiding her hair before she goes to bed? I've notices many women of the "olden days" who's hair was long used to braid it every night before bed. I never quite understood why, but perhaps its to keep it from frizzing up in the morning? Just unbraid and go---of course, it will take on a certain style from the braid, but it might be pretty, worth at least a try!
Also, my grandmother told me women braided their long hair before bed to keep it from shedding all over the sheets....
No her hair is quite short. I mentioned that in the OP.
Good grief. So, it's ok in this country to waste natural resources? It's time people started appreciating what so many parts of the world( and some parts of the USA) consider a complete luxury.
Kudzu has every right to insist her daughter take a shower, and get out. How long it takes her to wash herself is the issue, and I question if 7 minutes is really long enough, so, as I said, 10-15 sounds about right. A 12 yr old does not need to play in the shower. And, NK doesn't need to upgrade her plumbing so she can.
Don't be silly. I didn't say the plumbing should be upgraded so she can play in the shower. I said it's possible that there isn't enough hot water for all four people to take showers of equal lengths of time. Let's say each person is limited to 15 minutes. (You said 10-15 and I said 15-20, so we'll go with 15.) That's an hour of hot water. It's possible the hot water tank can't keep up with that. The daughter shouldn't be blamed if that's the real reason there isn't enough hot water. I simply offered it as something to consider. Some people don't know that there are point-of-use tankless water heaters that can provide unlimited hot water to a specific faucet. I'm just providing the most information that comes to mind. No reason to have a "good grief" heart attack over it, Mattie.
Why are you trying to micromanage your daughter's life? Can't you just knock on the door if she's taking too long and say, "Time to wrap things up"?
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