Belt: discipline or abuse? (bullying, legal, weight, average)

[thunderkat59]

Abuse.

They used to burn 'witches' too . . .

[Frustrated Hippy]

Abuse.

[LLN]

If you do something wrong, the belt is fine. All these pantie-waists saying abuse, hope you see what the world is turning in to. Folks were popped for hundreds of years, we (civilization) did just fine. Now, not so sure.

A couple of things I did that got the belt, and I mean a blistering, I never did again. That's a fact, Jack.

This is different, way different, than abusing kids with a belt, or any other device.

Maybe the dumbing down of the schools has made this not too subtle difference hard for many to figure out.

I dunno!

[shaylahc]

I think it's abuse. Some of my more painful childhood memories involve being beaten with a belt, and even a riding crop I was even beaten once with a thick ruler that left bruising on one side of my body.

I did on occasion spank my own kids, only with an open hand, one swat, and not hard. More just to get their attention and know I meant business. Once they were 6 or 7 and I could talk to them rationally, I no longer spanked. Spanking was for rare occasions anyway.

[Buffyfan]

As a teacher, I noticed the children who are "whipped" and threatened with the belt tend to be more aggressive and angry with the other children.

[Billy_J]

Depends.

Some kids (some stubborn boys) feel no pain. For them a belt (when all other options have failed) may get the message through their thick skulls. (Belt on their rear, not on their skulls of course...)

But for a sweet little girl (or boy) who usually follows rules, is just testing the breaking point of her (his) parents, and is quite sensitive to pain, then I would consider that abuse (overkill/damaging).

[jgn2013]

It depends on the parent. I was spanked with a belt as were many of my friends. Moderately strict discipline combined with GOOD PARENTING is fine.

When people say that corporal punishment leads to poor outcomes, this tends to neglect many factors. The studies don't seem to measure the quality of the parenting, just whether or not a child is spanked. I suspect that immigrant parents and working class multi-generational parents are more inclined to spank. For those individuals, they probably feel that if their kids fall off the straight and narrow, the only landing places are the graveyard and prison. Most middle and upper middle class (white) families...at least in my opinion, view failure as being many things besides "dead or in jail."

I've seen plenty of kids that were not spanked with mixed results. Some kids just "get it" and don't need as much guidance. Others will make you pull your hair out and perhaps need more structure and discipline.

[Spatula City]

It's a horrible way to raise children and it will affect their self esteem, social skills and intelligence in a negative way.

If you do it, you are a bad parent.

Structure and discipline aren't the same thing as punishment. If you're so set on punishments, you can make them do pushups or something constructive. Structure comes from routines and schedules, discipline comes from focus and clear instruction.

Beating them is for people who are too stupid to come up with a better solution, and don't even think to open a book or google some positive parenting methods.

[djacques]

Not legally abuse unless you are really injuring the child, but probably not necessary. I don't regret the few times I was spanked with a belt though.

[strawflower]

Originally Posted by djacques

Not legally abuse unless you are really injuring the child, but probably not necessary. I don't regret the few times I was spanked with a belt though.

The only time I ever see you around the parenting forum is if the topic of spanking comes up.