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Just make sure you budget for adequate life insurance, but more importantly disabililty insurance. A disability would affect you more than death. Most likely this is already a component of his benefits package, so that should ease your mind (at least financially)... hopefully you have good strong family in the area in case of one of those issues good strong male family members (uncles, etc) could step in and at least provide some of that male influence - factor that into your discussions about a Will in case both of you go.
i think dave is just trying to give good financial advice because your dh is a police officer. alot of times we dont think about the what-ifs enough so it is a good idea to consider the whole financial thing.
i think dave is just trying to give good financial advice because your dh is a police officer. alot of times we dont think about the what-ifs enough so it is a good idea to consider the whole financial thing.
Oh no I understand, believe me my reality of what ifs are much more real to me than say to someone who's spouse works on a computer every day. The fact that every time my husband walks out that door could be his last is with me every second of my life. But I can't linger on that, becasue I wouldn't be able to function, the depression and fear and anxiety would make me just crawl in bed and cry all the time. So we'll take the proper precautions and hope for the best, thats all we can do.
My husband and I both 25 are throwing around the idea of having a baby.. Nothing is set in stone just talking. He's concerned becasue we're are still renting, and don't have a house of our own yet. Possible buying next year. My husband is a police officer making just about 50k,I stay at home. Can anyone give me some opinions, with the renting, income etc if you think it'd be a wise choice to think about having a baby. Most people I know, were renting when they had their first baby and later bought a house. I feel like I'm getting a bit older now and would like to have a baby before 30. My mom had her last at 39 and I saw how hard it was on her. What are your opinions of having a child at our age and is it do able?
It's not quite right to tell anyone: "just go ahead and have a baby, there is never a good time, so just do it" but I'm dyeing to tell you this.
My husband doesn't make that much money for what he is doing either and we had our baby while renting a one bedroom in Brooklyn. A stayed at home for a year and it was tough, but we survived. I nursed thru most of that year so we saved tons of money since we didn't have to buy formula, I got most of clothing from my nephew, so I can't say that baby cost us that much money (believe it or not). We co-slept and still do, so we didn't need another bedroom for Max. You can also try to get Wicks Program where you can get free food and formula.
Finally I went back to work, not only because I wanted to start making money again, but just to be back into the world.
Anyway, I think that it's very possible to survive with flying colors while you are renting, however, if you are planning to buy a house, then you should seriously consider your finances and whether or not you can be a stay at home mom and for how long. Only now we are planning to buy a house, my DS is 2 1/2.
Also, I always said that before and I'll say it again: money is not that much of an issue as the strength of relationship. Having a child is a blessing but it will challenge your marriage in many ways, so the marriage needs to be strong.
i think dave is just trying to give good financial advice because your dh is a police officer. alot of times we dont think about the what-ifs enough so it is a good idea to consider the whole financial thing.
I think no matter the profession a disability is a bigger financial hit than a death - and I think (can't prove it because I can't remember the source) but during the time the kids are being raised that disability is also a higher probability than death.
I'm not sure about it being silly - as there a examples of folks who are in very poor areas that keep having kids - maybe they should show some restraint so we as taxpayers don't have to support those kids; however, this is in no way the case for these people. So given their specific situation I would agree that they have been prudent so finances shouldn't be the primary consideration. More discussion on my comment probably is more relevant for the Political forum
Maybe I was too short in my reply - pretty much I have found that anyone who is conscientious enough to be worried about having enough funds to support a child does have enough. It's those like my SIL who do not show any restraint and refuse to use birth control for no good reason - they are the ones who SHOULD be worried and do not. She has a degree but doesn't want to work.
Many potential parents are under the impression that they can't possibly have a child until they have a gazillion put away for a college fund, a brand spankin new nursery, and a pile of toys and baby doo-dads - which of course is nice but certainly not "needed," IYKWIM.
Personally.. I think if you want to have a kid, don't let renting stop you. Trust me. My hubby's parents still live in the apartment they raised him in - and they'll probably never buy a house because they're happy where they are.
Me, I have a kid and I live in an apartment. Personally, I think it's great because there's a playground that always seems to have kids - so she gets a lot of socialization during the week.
If you want to wait to have kids, there's no shame in that. If you want to have a child right now, by all means, have one!
We married later in life (me 36 & DH 43) and the following happened to us:
We waited to become more financially stable while both establishing new careers where we weren't traveling the majority of the year on business.
......delaying our efforts to start a family for 3 yrs probably helped contribute to our infertility issues which ultimately cost us tens of thousands of dollars in treatment - so much for being more "financially stable";
DH has MS and when we first were married, his MS was manageable.
......while delaying the start of our family, DH's MS progressed and he went into a wheelchair and the whole "changing career" thing went south;
I guess my point is that you just never know what can happen. DH is NOT a police officer whose life is always on the line by virtue of his work yet he ended up disabled.
All we know is that we love each other, have a very strong marriage and know that whatever obstacles are thrown our way are ones that we will work at together. We've thrown a lot of emotion, heartache and money at our dream of becoming parents (I'm FINALLY pregnant with twins!) and it's all been worth it to get to this point in our lives together.
I agree with karens_ who said:
Quote:
pretty much I have found that anyone who is conscientious enough to be worried about having enough funds to support a child does have enough
Where you live truly doesn't matter. My brother and I were both born when my parents were renters. They became 1st time homeowners when I was 6 and we all turned out just fine!
What matters more is providing a loving and stable home for your future child/ren and a desire to be responsible parents. You seem to already be on the road to be responsible parents just by asking these kinds of questions.
oh my goodness, twins! congrats! take it very easy! it is EXTREMELY hard on the body so dont overdo it (so that your chances of going/making it to full term are better). stay OFF your feet as much as possible those last few months. congrats!
After much talking and looking over our situation the hubby and I have decided we are infact going to try to have a child.. Thank you all for your imput we both went over all your opinions and about them.
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