My 18 yo moved out (appropriate, American, city, assistance)
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The problem is the "crime" wouldnot have happened if her father hadn't taken her to the police station. They didn't arrest her for drinking. She was drunk and angry when they got to the police station and she fought with the police when they tried to take her back to talk to her. That's what they arrested her for. She doesn't even remember it. IMO any father that cared about his child would have just taken her home. She was in no state to be talked to by anyone. It should have waited until morning. I guarantee if he'd taken her in the next day she would not have fought the officers.
So, yes she has a lawyer.
Not sure why you have "crime" in parentheses....the crime was her drinking. It happened and it happened before she ever set foot in the police station. It didn't magically become criminal when she entered the police station.
The didn't arrest her for drinking? So does that mean there was no MIP? What were the charges then? That would certainly impact her (legal) ability to obtain her license and hence, a job. If you were to allow her to get a license and job - will you require a portion of her paycheck be alloted to repay her college fund and/or her father for legal fees?
To date, it sounds like you are uninterested in anything punitive happening to DD2 (other than being grounded from attending parties....); conversely, you seem to feel your DH should be the one to be punished....
You don't know if this situation is similar to yours or not. All we know is what we've read here on CD. We don't know these people from the man in the moon, really.
The thread seems to be more about DD#2.
Right...
OP lured us in by naming the thread in a certain matter but what she really wants to talk about is the drunken Prima donna. Read some of OP's other thread. She clearly makes differences between her kids.
I'm sure what happened, as I have seen a dozen times before actually working in a police station and not from movies, is:
- dad brought daughter down hoping the police talk would 'scare her straight'
- they asked her to come into the back so she would be out of the lobby.
- beligerant/still drunk teenager started fighting/flighting
- she had to be taken down due to then being a danger to herself and the police (drunk teen girls for some reason LOVE to reach for the gun)
It's not uncommon. It's rather annoying, but parents did that occasionally.
You'd be surprised. I teach high school and hear about raging parties every Monday. The cops never seem to be called. In fact, I can't recall one time where they were other than when kids show up drunk to school events and then all they have to do is admit they've been drinking and the police take them home.
I have no idea who provided the alcohol.
Please don't play the teacher card here. I also teach high school. Not only do I hear about parties getting broken up, kids getting in trouble, I also know that we have a LEGAL responsibility to report.
So please, don't misrepresent teachers to make yourself look differently as a parent.
I can't seem to resist coming back to this thread. I'm still dumbfounded that Mom seems only concerned that her daughter doesn't lose the privilege of cheering and getting her driver's license. Are you really serious??? If either of my daughters (I also have 2) ever came home that drunk (after previous drinking no less), they would lose any and every privilege so fast their heads would spin. Cheer.. OVER for the year. Driving, forget it for anytime in the near future.
Yes, they need to keep busy, so I'd be hauling their butts down to volunteer every darn place I could find because they couldn't be trusted to keep busy with productive things on their own.
OP - You seem to be excusing her behavior w/ this "kids will be kids and drink" nonsense. Yes, some will. Those whose parents aren't all in their business. I have a suspicious feeling that it's you who doesn't want her to give up the cheer position because of whatever prestige you feel it gives you as a parent and teacher (not that I think you would admit that to yourself)
Finally - quit focusing blame on your husband. He is her FATHER and he has every right to parent her as he sees fit as well. Perhaps he was at the end of his rope with this issue and in the heat of the moment this seemed the right decision to him. For you to point fingers and blame him is pathetic.
There are no consequences for your daughter in your plan. She's not paying the lawyer. She gets to cheer.
That's exactly what they do! And your daughter should have been more responsible so she didn't get kicked off the squad.
I'm blown away by the fact your daughter doesn't REMEMBER what happened the police station!
I think her daughter is lying about that. JMO. Yeah, I remember being a drunk teen too
Last edited by Jaded; 11-10-2013 at 01:19 AM..
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....I don't hear the jocks talking this way though. Maybe they just hide it because if the possibility of being kicked off the team. 
