My 6 year old is whining about me forcing sports on her (teens, activity)
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Does she like being active or does she just hate team sports? I got forced into team sports all my life and I HATED it. I ended up trying powerlifting later on (20? 21?) and I absolutely loved it. It wasn't the fitness, it was that I wanted to do an individual sport instead. I'm not sure what kind of individual sports exist at her age, but maybe she would prefer that instead of a team. She's with peers all week (school) so maybe the physical activity can be channeled in another path.
Yes we have done dance, arts, swimming etc. She doesn't quite show a passion yet for one particular thing.
Have you parents gone soft on your kids? Is your house a democracy? How has our generation changed? (I'm 44 by the way). How are you giving your kids direction?
Here is what I don't like about our generation:
-We let the kids do whatever they want, including endless hours of video gaming. If your kid loves that do you encourage that?
-We don't keep score at sports. Why? Because we don't want to hurt the other teams feelings. Give me a break! (p.s. the kids actually love to keep score)
-There is a lack of free play and too many organized activities. This may be a function of safety and two working parents
How are you teaching your kids hard work, discipline, team building etc. Are you using "soft parenting skills" like that's okay, encouragement, no big deal, Will do better next time, we can quit and try something else.
Have I touched any nerves yet? Keep the comments coming!!
LOL! Oh my! This reads like you are itching for a fight, dude! Well I suppose you'll provoke one soon enough. Good luck with that.
I think you are going from one extreme to another. There is such a thing as a middle ground. I think most of the people in here are coming from that place. Just because folks may not think pushing a kid to do a sport they hate past one season is a great idea, doesn't mean they are raising spoiled couch potatoes who are never asked to do anything hard, are never made to stick with anything or compete in any way. I think perhaps you are reading into the responses a bit? Some believe those traits can be taught with other methods besides making a 6 year old play the same team sport for multiple years. If that is the method YOU chose then great for you, but, I mean, you did ask people what they thought of your method. It's not like anyone volunteered their opinions unsolicited. LOL
Well, trying to stick to the actual issue the OP originally brought up:
I truly believe one must tread carefully with a 6 year old and organized sports. (FWIW, I have two young daughters very active with organized stuff and as much free play time as we can muster. Both of them soured quickly on soccer and softball, both LOVE tennis, dance, and gymnastics.)
First, as some have stated here, there are many ways and many arenas in which to instill all the good things the OP mentions (commitment, teamwork, etc.) without participating in organized team sports. Several have been mentioned here. It's not like there's sports...and then an abyss filled with 24/7 videogames. That's a tired cliche.
Second, not all organized sports/teams/coaches are created equal. We've seen a pretty wide spread. Some coaches just seemed to go through the motions and the games and seasons as a whole were very chore-like and boring (if that makes sense?). Some had games and practice at such odd times and days that my girls were exhausted and aggravated which only got worse when school started AND they weren't into the particular sport (i.e., soccer). I can't see how my girls really learned much in these situations. OTOH, we've had great luck with tennis and dance.
Lastly, IMO, 6 is still a young enough age where I believe a forced participation, if it backfires, can sour many many future attempts.
So clearly the OP really isn't asking if he's being too pushy. He's sharing his parenting philosophy and calling those who disagree a bunch of parenting wusses (basically). Interesting that he chose not to just say that upfront though. Since he clearly feels it is the correct path.
Yes we have done dance, arts, swimming etc. She doesn't quite show a passion yet for one particular thing.
Have you parents gone soft on your kids? Is your house a democracy? How has our generation changed? (I'm 44 by the way). How are you giving your kids direction?
Here is what I don't like about our generation:
-We let the kids do whatever they want, including endless hours of video gaming. If your kid loves that do you encourage that?
-We don't keep score at sports. Why? Because we don't want to hurt the other teams feelings. Give me a break! (p.s. the kids actually love to keep score)
-There is a lack of free play and too many organized activities. This may be a function of safety and two working parents
How are you teaching your kids hard work, discipline, team building etc. Are you using "soft parenting skills" like that's okay, encouragement, no big deal, Will do better next time, we can quit and try something else.
Have I touched any nerves yet? Keep the comments coming!!
So this thread is not at all about your daughter.
It is about YOU having some imiginary "control" over those reading and posting here just to see
"which buttons you can push on whom"?
I had similar struggles when my kids were that age---I wanted them off the couch a little more and thought organized team sports might be the easiest way to accomplish that. It didn't work work that way for any of them; none of us enjoyed it for various reasons. We seem to have had more success in more individual sports.
My oldest did kung fu for a few years until we moved, then picked up fencing and joined a rock climbing club. In high school he started a mountain biking club and joined the bowling and tennis teams (a small school with no tryouts, anyone could play). He is not what you would consider an athletic kid but he eventually found and chose activities that suited him.
My middle and youngest also love fencing and rock climbing. Middle liked tae kwan do until he didn't, both enjoyed gymnastics for a while. Mostly we have not had to force (except the TKD when he wanted to stop and I had just paid for another month. That was NOT fun).
Correction--we DID force some when they were younger and it only created stress and tears all around. Some kids will find their passion at 6 years old, but I think most grow into knowing what they love and want to spend time on. We will still ask if they want to join this or that, and explain why it might be beneficial or fun, but if they say no, I let it lie.
My middle has a talent for running and we suggested middle school cross country to him this year. He was on the fence but gave it a go when he found a few friends also on the team. Turns out he loves it and has done well; he is already asking about sign ups for spring track. Youngest has seen the positives of the sport/team through his brother's experience and is also interested in joining CC when he is able.
I wonder if some of this stems from the fact that H and I were never big on team sports when we were kids. H played baseball and hated it; running and fencing and cycling are his things. I did gymnastics and dance as a kid/teen and now run run run.
But to the OP--in my experience, forcing a child into an activity can create stress and burnout. If you don't want them to quit altogether for some reason (money, sticking out the season etc) perhaps even a break of a few days can do wonders for attitude and make something "boring" seem fresh and new again...unless they really do hate it!
Yes we have done dance, arts, swimming etc. She doesn't quite show a passion yet for one particular thing.
Have you parents gone soft on your kids? Is your house a democracy? How has our generation changed? (I'm 44 by the way). How are you giving your kids direction?
Here is what I don't like about our generation:
-We let the kids do whatever they want, including endless hours of video gaming. If your kid loves that do you encourage that?
-We don't keep score at sports. Why? Because we don't want to hurt the other teams feelings. Give me a break! (p.s. the kids actually love to keep score)
-There is a lack of free play and too many organized activities. This may be a function of safety and two working parents
How are you teaching your kids hard work, discipline, team building etc. Are you using "soft parenting skills" like that's okay, encouragement, no big deal, Will do better next time, we can quit and try something else.
Have I touched any nerves yet? Keep the comments coming!!
Question - what sports do you participate in right now?
You seem to think organized sports is the greatest thing for a kid, yet in the above post you criticize there are too many organized activities, and criticize these activities do not keep score.
Is there something wrong with hours of video game playing? Because there are many people who watch hours of football, baseball, and basketball games with little to no criticizing. Watching sports is much less mentally engaging than playing video games.
You state your daughter likes to play hoops out in the driveway, yet does not want to be on a team; this is what poster after poster has been trying to tell you, some people just do not like team sports and/or organized sports activities. No different than some people do not like reading fiction books, like apple pie, the color red, snow, etc.
Exposure to great, but there is a line between exposure and pushiness. The other posters who stated "I am glad I was pushed", what, you were never equipped with the ability to find things you like on your own? Instead of being pushed to play piano, what if the kid really would have liked the accordion?
Plus, as other posters stated; she is six years old!
Ask her what she wants to do. Art, reading, constructing things, cooking, sewing, bowling, singing - there are many options out there. Find out what activities her friends participate in.
It is good to expose her to different things, but I wouldn't waste time or money on something she clearly does not enjoy or appreciate.
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