I don't know how I should feel about this (parents, wife, problem)
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It did make me mad. I feel as though, aside from material things, I spoil her in better ways. I spoil her with affection and attention and things like that.
And what do you get from spoiling her???? A wife that just wants more.
So are you going to Maui? Are you buying a condo?
Last edited by Jaded; 08-06-2013 at 12:39 AM..
Reason: removed unflattering word
I told her that we would have to re evaluate both Maui and Chicago. Since Maui is a vacation compared to a second home, hearing that it wouldn't be immediately given to her put her in a sour mood.
As everyone has seen, when I spoil her, I successfully buy her affection. Not that I enjoy doing that I'm just being honest. Umm Maui, probably, because a) it's a cool hotel that I want to go to and b) I've never been to Hawaii. In my mind, I'm no so much giving into her as much as I am going to have fun with him and maybe his GF if it checks out with her parents. Definitely have to think about the condo.
You've been told several times that your wife's with you for your money-- which you were quick to dismiss (but "she says she loves me for me, not my money"). Then you follow up with these kinds of post a lot:
Quote:
Originally Posted by irishfan77
We went to dinner last night just because and then went home and he was out for the night. She told me that our wedding day was the the 2nd greatest day of her life and the first was ( obviously) his birth. She's happy that we stuck it out for 6 years and that it was worth it. Then we got into her wants. She wants to take a vacation to Maui ( and stay at some hotel her friend told her about). She wants to begin looking for a condo in Chicago( just for weekends. My guess is so she can shop). I told her that she " had very expensive tastes". Her response was that I " have to keep her well kept". I jokingly said that my father told me that over spoiling a woman is bad news. She told me that, because she's my wife, " She deserves spoiling" and spent the rest of the night researching condos.
I highly doubt this element of your relationship is going to change. Your wife doesn't sound like she has a whole lot going up in her head, so its no surprise that she'd want to play as usual. As it is, the only time she'll praise you is when she wants something. Can you accept that for the next 50 years of your life? You'll have to be, in order to be ok with your wife.
Why didn't you point out the inherent contradiction about her being "happy" about those 6 years and it being "worth" it? She also has no problem punishing you for those 6 years. Obviously something you'll have to bring up in therapy.
The way you described your son back then ["He loves to drink booze,sleep all day, hang out with his trashy little girlfriend, skip chores and homework, and talk back( it was cool to watch when she would do it to her parents, but as a parent, it's awful."] does not sound like someone you can have fun in Maui with. I remember you had one talk with him and suddenly it was him and you against the world??
I mean, seriously, your contempt for him and the way your wife had raised him was noticeable. And now you want to take the so-called "trashy girlfriend" all the way to Maui?
You also described yourself in your original thread as a quiet bookworm who envied your wife's ability to make friends easily. I really, really wonder if you are on "the spectrum" somewhere. You appear to process emotions in a completely unpredictable and unexplainable way.
Actually you don't appear to process emotions. You seems to be in an "input/output" transactional scenario. The stuff you post here seriously makes NO SENSE to me. It seems like you and your wife are not making ANY progress whatsoever.
Your posts now don't really jibe with what you originally posted back in May:
And now you want to take the so-called "trashy girlfriend" all the way to Maui?
You also described yourself in your original thread as a quiet bookworm who envied your wife's ability to make friends easily.
A lot has changed since May with my son and myself. The GF has grown on me. Though I may not agree with everything she does, if she makes him happy, I'm happy. I still see myself as a quiet bookworm( maybe a step or 2 above) and yes, I still do envy my wife's ability to make friends.
In my mind, I'm no so much giving into her as much as I am going to have fun with him and maybe his GF if it checks out with her parents. Definitely have to think about the condo.
Really? You think they'll want to hang with you in Hawaii? Really? REALLY?????????????
Really? You think they'll want to hang with you in Hawaii? Really? REALLY?????????????
The teenagers? Yes, I think that two teenagers will gladly want to hang out at a 5 star hotel in Maui. There will be no bickering because my wife will be happy.
Let's say you did lose your job, your house (with it's beautiful guest house) was foreclosed, your portfolio and all of your savings were lost or you had serious health problems or all four happened at the same time. And, none of the magical thinking, of course that can never happen to me. Those things do happen to people and they happen every single day.
What do you think that your wife would do? No more expensive vacations, no more fancy jewelry, no more dinners in restaurants, no dreams of a second home/condo in Chicago. Maybe even needing to live with you in your car or a homeless shelter for a while.
AND then she would be the one to get a full time job or two full time jobs to support the three of you and maybe spend all of her free time caring for her sick, bedridden husband as well as handling every other household responsibility.
A true loving, marriage partner would do those things. Would your wife do that?
Think about it. Does your wife love you during "the good times and the bad times, for better and for worse, in sickness and in health"?
Seriously, think about it and answer truthfully.
Irish, you have had several hours to think about this.
What do you truly believe would happen if you lost your job, your savings, your property and your health? Would your wife stick with you and take over the breadwinner role or just kick you in the balls on her way out the door to find the next sugar daddy?
What do you truly believe would happen if you lost your job, your savings, your property and your health? Would your wife stick with you and take over the breadwinner role or just kick you in the balls on her way out the door to find the next sugar daddy?
Honestly, yeah I think she'd stick with me. We've been through so much together and she'd stick with me mostly because of our son.
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