Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I guess I'm afraid of confrontation. I've always been afraid of confronting people and, being the quiet type, I'm easily offended, I never really grew super tough skin. She could cuss me out and offend me, I know that sounds kind of weird but I'm just wired like that. I have no problem confronting my son because, I'm the adult and he's the kid we are not equals. Whereas my wife and I are equal.
That's what you need to focus on. You love each other, and you want to help your son. Don't bring anything else into it right now. Just keep repeating that mantra : "I love you, and we both love Junior. We need to work together for his sake."
That won't work because the wife will just say, "Well if you really love Junior, you'll let him get his rest and not waste his time on counseling."
<sigh> Don't be afraid of drama. No way to avoid it. When you ask her nicely (which is how it should be done), just make sure YOU are in the bedroom so she can't lock you out. And how can she MAKE you sleep on the couch? Simply refuse. Let her sleep on the couch if she doesn't want to sleep with you. This is all part of standing up to her. What is she going to do? Send you to bed without dinner? Ground you? Oh wait... she can't do that with her kid, she can't do that to you. So why so afraid?
AGAIN... don't be afraid. Why are you in the first place?
I don't always agree with you Steelstress, but your advice on this thread has been spot-on.
That won't work because the wife will just say, "Well if you really love Junior, you'll let him get his rest and not waste his time on counseling."
The counseling is not for Junior. The counseling is for the OP and (hopefully) his wife. Learning how to work together both as parents and as partners.
That won't work because the wife will just say, "Well if you really love Junior, you'll let him get his rest and not waste his time on counseling."
Now you think you have powers to see into the OP's wife's mind? You are truly remarkable. Here's the thing, ALL good parents want to see their kids succeed. The OP needs to pound the point home, that neither he nor his wife are doing Junior any favors here.
How is wanting to discipline a teenager being a jerk? and there's no reason to lie or bring up the forums. The truth is is that I want whats best for the teenager
I mean I'm sure you've wanted to discipline him for awhile now, so it's going to seem pretty suspicious when you make a big push all of a sudden!
I feel your pain as I have been plagued with a similar situation regarding my son. I'm not going to offer advice on the tactic you should use as it tends to upset the fragile in this forum. You should look into counseling as it sounds one of the two of you are trying to be more of a friend to your son instead of a parent. Good luck to you and your family.
I guess I'm afraid of confrontation. I've always been afraid of confronting people and, being the quiet type, I'm easily offended, I never really grew super tough skin. She could cuss me out and offend me, I know that sounds kind of weird but I'm just wired like that. I have no problem confronting my son because, I'm the adult and he's the kid we are not equals. Whereas my wife and I are equal.
Except you and your wife are NOT equals. An equalized relationship has both sides respecting each other's position. Your wife has not respected your position and expect you to comply with what she wants. If you don't originally comply, then she gives you the silent treatment and all that jazz. That is not what an equal does in a relationship. Now she's simply trying to train you to act (as in comply) the same way with your son.
Its not only your wife that needs eyes wide open. Its you too.
P.S. Why bother responding to Beat/MLB? He's doesn't care about your position and is not interested in helping you.
I guess I'm afraid of confrontation. I've always been afraid of confronting people and, being the quiet type, I'm easily offended, I never really grew super tough skin. She could cuss me out and offend me, I know that sounds kind of weird but I'm just wired like that. I have no problem confronting my son because, I'm the adult and he's the kid we are not equals. Whereas my wife and I are equal.
Ok, I see... I get the confrontation thing.
I think what you don't get is that you and your wife are not equals... SHE sees to that. Seems like you need to dish out some tough love to her... and that brat. Actually, ignore her, but keep all over the brat. The brat needs to realize he has you to contend with.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
<sigh> Don't be afraid of drama. No way to avoid it. When you ask her nicely (which is how it should be done), just make sure YOU are in the bedroom so she can't lock you out. And how can she MAKE you sleep on the couch? Simply refuse. Let her sleep on the couch if she doesn't want to sleep with you. This is all part of standing up to her. What is she going to do? Send you to bed without dinner? Ground you? Oh wait... she can't do that with her kid, she can't do that to you. So why so afraid?