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And it would be very nice if what you are talking about pertained to the thread. (I highly doubt the average parent is going to use technology to jam up their child's internet access because he's watching old Fritz the Cat videos on youtube.)
And it would be very nice if what you are talking about pertained to the thread. (I highly doubt the average parent is going to use technology to jam up their child's internet access because he's watching old Fritz the Cat videos on youtube.)
Regardless if this is a show to be worried about or not wouldn't this be a good time to talk to your teen abour your concerns and feelings around tv shows or the internet in general?
Growing up I think one of the best things as I entered the teen years my mom did was to talk to me about her concerns,fears,and what she wanted for me. I knew I could come to her. I also think the balance that she did set certain expectations yet was not so strict. Obviously some is a child's personality too.
This is my first post but I looked at this forum and it looked like a good place to get help for this.
My son is 14 and a freshman in high school and I'm really starting to get worried about the things that he's getting involved in. I've tried as hard as I can to raise him as a good Christian boy, and even paid for him to go to a private school his first few years to make sure he gets a good moral education, but I could only afford to pay for it the first couple of years because of financial problems.
Recently he started watching these cartoons on the computer that I gave him to do school work on. I think they're in Chinese or something but I was ok with it at first because there's really nothing bad about cartoons. But I talked to one of my friends at church about it and she said that a lot of kids have gotten in trouble because of these kinds of cartoons because they have a ton of sex and violence in them. I talked to my son about it and he said that they don't, but my friend said that they can be really bad.
I want to take the computer away from him but he needs it to do homework too, but I'm worried about the things he could get in to, but I don't want to lose his trust or make him angry with me or anything either. I've talked to him but he insists there's nothing wrong with them.
What should I do?
Im about as far right as you can be politically, but i've learned important lessons about boys growing up, not just because I was one, but I had a teenage boy not too long ago
20 years ago, I was a manager in a retail store, and I would hire teenage boys and girls, and one thing I really observed/learned firsthand was this- the more you shelter kids, the less coping skills they have in the real world, now that doesnt mean being a cold hearted parent at all..
when my son was growing up i was a very close dad, I spent as much time playing with him.....and you know what?? I earned his trust, and the one gift, the most valuable gift any parent can give their child is confidence, and feeling comfortable in their own skin,,not seeking false confidence in drugs, etc.
Like I say im very conservative, but at the same time, I tried to set a decent example,
anyways, of course I didnt expose him to sex and violence at an early age,,,,but slowly I did..as time went on...because i wanted him to ask me questions about what he saw, not his teacher
one of our favorite friday night past times, i'd let him pick out movies to watch...id let him pick out ,,,,on the basis i can stop the movie at any time and explain
anyways to sum up, I didnt shelter him at all,,,so he had better coping skills, and it took the mystery out of it- I had many friends that were sheltered and when they went to college they suddenly had freedoms and went nuts- they partied and partied,,because it was always a mystery
today, my son is in his third yr in pharmacy college, on the deans list, never been in trouble, is a health nut- doesnt smoke or drink, doesnt curse, he's grounded, he has a good grasp of whats right or wrong- he's seen his friends acting out, and the consequences.
he has coping skills i never had at his age, he can debate with respect and confidence, i never had at age 20
14 isnt an easy age for a boy- give him space mothers often get taken for granted by boys around this age
he 's going thru alot of changes and as parents we tend to still look at our kids as if they are still 10 or 12
im willing to bet you have been a very good mother ,,,,,and what you have tried to instill with help him make better decisions- dont smother him,,,,let me say that again, do no smother him...
he will start seeing alot about sex, violence, and social norms,,,nows the time to be a helpful mother
remember its not easy for a boy to talk about sex with their mothers, much easier with dads...the opposite with girls..
just be a good listener, and be there for any questions,,,tell him that
It sounds like the's watching Anime. Anime is primary good, a lot of schools have an anime club. Some, I mean SOME can be bad, but the majority of it is good.
Really? Who is the parent here? Put the computer in the living room and SUPERVISE him when he is on it. Make sure he is doing his homework. Good lord, grow a spine.
20yrsinBranson
Yes -- that would be my suggestion. A parent can sit next to the computer and ask the child about the cartoons while he's watching them.
In my home, nothing is hidden except Christmas presents -- kids can go to their own rooms for peace and quiet but usually prefer to sit in the family room where the computer and television are. Nothing is secretive and if I don't approve of a television show, I say so and they change the channel.
Yes -- that would be my suggestion. A parent can sit next to the computer and ask the child about the cartoons while he's watching them.
In my home, nothing is hidden except Christmas presents -- kids can go to their own rooms for peace and quiet but usually prefer to sit in the family room where the computer and television are. Nothing is secretive and if I don't approve of a television show, I say so and they change the channel.
And this is how it should be. You are sadly the minority these days. I get accused of being wacko for even suggesting this... but this is how it will be in my house.
Anime actually has brought my daughter and I closer together. I used to watch cartoons when I was a child, and read Marvel comic books. When I saw she was watching anime, to me, it wasn't all that different.
In a very short time, we'd watch it together. Many of the animes, we both enjoyed ... Inuyasha,Fruits Basket, FullMetal Alchemist, Death Note are just a few. FullMetal DOES go into the question of God, though, and the portrayal may not be what you hope for. So does Death Note. But my daughter and I found these anime series as a springboard to a great theological discussion or two. (BTW, I do try to be a good Christian myself, though I wouldn't consider myself as being worthy of being considered a Christian role model. ) And she started watching them around the same time as your son.
If he won't watch them with you, see if you can read the manga versions. Manga is the written version of anime, and most animes are based on the manga. Your library probably has several volumes. There are also many manga/anime fan sites, and summaries of anime/manga chapters on YouTube. Many of these animes have subs (English subtitles) or dubs (actual English speakers). Many mangas have English translations as well.
The types of manga to be wary of are hentai, and to an extent, ecchi. Hentai is the hard-core stuff. Ecchi is technically the "softer" version, but that designation can be very, very hazy. Some of the stuff I would consider hentai sometimes winds up being classified as ecchi. One example is Elfen Lied. Let's just say that one is way too over-the-top for me re the violence for me to think of it as "ecchi". (I do, however, recognize that there might be a cultural difference here.) Ecchi might be better for much older teens, or if sexual innuendo or graphic scenes of violence is bothersome for you, something you might want to really talk about with your son about having in your household at all, no matter what age.
Even if your child does stumble upon an ecchi series, all might not be problematic. My daughter saw a couple of Elfen Lied episodes around the same time I did (on our own ... we most definitely did not watch these together!). When I discovered she had seen these episodes, I was very alarmed and sat down to have a talk with her, only to find out that she already found the violence far too graphic for her tastes and had moved on to (fortunately for me) much milder fare. (As for me, I couldn't stomach it past the first few episodes, though I know it's among some people's favorite anime.)
If you keep forbidding your son to watch any anime, he'd probably do it when you're not looking, or sneak in a few manga volumes to read under the covers, or watch it with friends at their house. IMO, the best defense is to find out what he's interested in and do a bit of research. But that is just my take on it.
Last edited by gazania; 12-10-2012 at 10:19 PM..
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