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I need to chime in on a few things....while it is true that he is only going into 3rd grade he is very popular. Not only with other kids (in different grades) but with teachers and administration. That is part of the problem. I find it unbelievable that we will be having a meeting regarding him and they begin with how cute, popular, nice, well mannered, helpful, etc he is BUT he needs to work on his talking when he's not supposed to be. They are fueling his ego so much he can't take them serious. Even his 1st grade teacher would build him up. It is rare that we will go anywhere where he doesn't make new friends. Even when we visited another state for a week he ended up getting phone numbers from other kids who still call him. I keep telling him that he should be an actor if he would only follow direction...lol
I hate to rain on your parade, but I just remembered that you posted in the past about him being in an elementary school where shockingly, young children were already starting to be affiliated with gangs. Everyone here told you to get him the heck out of that school and fast. So... personally, I think whether he is being fully engaged in the classroom is the least of your problems. If I remember correctly, other students were bringing weapons into the school. Why is he still there or have you transferred him to a new school?
As a reminder, I am copying and pasting something you wrote back in April, 4 months ago:
My son's 7...2nd grade. This has been one heck of a school year. Gangs, damaged property, and the list goes on and on.
The backpack was sliced with a razor blade or other straightedge--you can tell because its plastic and the cut is way too clean.
I hate to rain on your parade, but I just remembered that you posted in the past about him being in an elementary school where shockingly, young children were already starting to be affiliated with gangs. Everyone here told you to get him the heck out of that school and fast. So... personally, I think whether he is being fully engaged in the classroom is the least of your problems. If I remember correctly, other students were bringing weapons into the school. Why is he still there or have you transferred him to a new school?
As a reminder, I am copying and pasting something you wrote back in April, 4 months ago:
My son's 7...2nd grade. This has been one heck of a school year. Gangs, damaged property, and the list goes on and on.
The backpack was sliced with a razor blade or other straightedge--you can tell because its plastic and the cut is way too clean.
Because I do not have the money to move. Simple as that. I also do not have a car to take him to a different school. When you transfer to another school, parents are responsible for getting them there.
What is wrong with talking because you are excited to learn something new in tae kwon do? I guess I am losing patience with people who put kids into boxes and expect them to be seen but not heard at all times. He is respectful, very bright, eager to learn, and thrives on attention (probably from being an only kid), but never seems to fit the right cookie cutter.
There is a wide range of normal and I guess I am tired of trying to shove him into a mold that suits others. He really only talks when he's bored or excited ... I'm really not trying to make excuses for him and his seeming lack of self control but then again, I wonder how much self control one really has at this age.".
No, he's not respectful at all and all you have done here is make excuses for him. He's bored or excited for 12 hours straight while hiking, etc.? Something is wrong here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by operaphantom2003
It varied...sometimes he was "helping" explain the assignment or sometimes he was replying to the kid who talked first. He likes just about everyone, gets along with everyone, and loves to help. He doesn't realize that his voice is very distinctive and the more excited he is, the more high pitched and squeaky it gets. It's pretty funny really.
Not funny by anyone elses standards but yours.
Quote:
Originally Posted by operaphantom2003
After class while my son was putting his shoes and socks on, the instructor came over to us and told him "the intermediate class is a privaliage, not a right! If you don't keep your mouth shut then you will be back in beginners class for as long as it takes you to learn to not speak.".
In some ways I understand, but a part of me just wants to tell his instructor off because my son was just acting like a normal little kid.
Had your son been "just acting like a normal little kid", would he have had to say that to him? I doubt it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by operaphantom2003
He's testing at a 7th grade level. Last year just for kicks because my son was complaining about doing "baby work" his teacher let him go to the 5th grade class for a week. That was a highlight of his year. He didn't talk and was actively engaged in the class. The 5th grade teacher said except for social studies and handwriting, he was in the top third of her class. I didn't have any problems with him doing the homework either because he thought it "was on his level".
In a week the teacher could tell he was in the top third? Really? With no testing or background work to verify? Ok...
Quote:
Originally Posted by operaphantom2003
The only excuse I make for my son is that his is acting normal. There is a wide range of normal, not just a small box that so many want to shove kids in..
Perhaps you don't see it, but honestly, you make excuses for him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by operaphantom2003
Ha ha....we actually went to the store for back to school shopping, went on a 5 mile hike, and had a picnic. He talks where ever he goes and through whatever he's doing unless he really has to be quiet. He gets out several hours every day.
She does not allow kids to work on things unless the whole class is doing it. That means he can't bring his personal notebooks to write his stories if he wants to. She is pretty strict on her rules too.
So he IS capable of being quiet, just only when he "has to". You're not expecting a teacher to be strict on her rules? Does that mean you expect her to allow your son to continually disrupt by talking? The older he gets, the more difficult it's going to be to convince everybody he's "a normal little kid".
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Originally Posted by lkb0714
So it is the teachers fault that a supposed gifted student has behavior issues that make it impossible for him to go into the gifted class? Really?
So it is the fault of every one of his teachers, his tae kwon doo instructor, and even his mother says he talks non-stop. When he gets to high school, and loses friends because he has no social skills and has to monopolize every conversation will he then be "bullied" and it is the fault of his peers and the entire school?
At what point does this child learn that talking incessantly is not acceptable? Because it is not.
I so agree with this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by operaphantom2003
I need to chime in on a few things....while it is true that he is only going into 3rd grade he is very popular. Not only with other kids (in different grades) but with teachers and administration. That is part of the problem. I find it unbelievable that we will be having a meeting regarding him and they begin with how cute, popular, nice, well mannered, helpful, etc he is BUT he needs to work on his talking when he's not supposed to be. They are fueling his ego so much he can't take them serious. Even his 1st grade teacher would build him up. It is rare that we will go anywhere where he doesn't make new friends. Even when we visited another state for a week he ended up getting phone numbers from other kids who still call him. I keep telling him that he should be an actor if he would only follow direction...lol
And who better to teach him to follow direction than mom?
Got news for you; at conferences, they find positive things to say about ALL kids. It's their job.
Well, I don't agree with it. It is the job of the school to educate the students, and he isn't being educated. It's a sad state of affairs when we tell a bright child to shut up, sit down, and be completely and utterly bored while learning nothing at school. Why should he even go if he isn't learning anything? It's not doing him any good. We want kids to be excited to learn and go to school, but then we tell a little boy all of those other things. Talk about sending mixed messages. Just because he talks in class doesn't mean he's going to monopolize all the conversations when he's older, too. It also doesn't mean he's going to be bullied. He needs to be given a real education, and he's being failed by his school right now.
Well, I don't agree with it. It is the job of the school to educate the students, and he isn't being educated. It's a sad state of affairs when we tell a bright child to shut up, sit down, and be completely and utterly bored while learning nothing at school. Why should he even go if he isn't learning anything? It's not doing him any good. We want kids to be excited to learn and go to school, but then we tell a little boy all of those other things. Talk about sending mixed messages. Just because he talks in class doesn't mean he's going to monopolize all the conversations when he's older, too. It also doesn't mean he's going to be bullied. He needs to be given a real education, and he's being failed by his school right now.
But you are wrong. It is the job of the public school to educate the public. Not an individual student at the expense of his classmates due to his own actions.
He supposedly would be put in G&T if he were not disruptive. But he is, so he has not EARNED that privilege.
And what about all of the other children in the class and their rights to an education? We get you were the kid who talked incessantly in school, so was I (in elementary school anyway). But now as a teacher, I have seen first hand just how much other children lose out because one child is too selfish to stop disrupting the class.
For godsake the mother claims he talks 12 hours non-stop. That is ridiculous to expect other children to learn in that sort of environment. Everyone has a right to an education, and no one has the right to have their personal choice deprive others of that right.
Everyone has a right to an education, and no one has the right to have their personal choice deprive others of that right.
What about the rights of the students who operate at grade level? Don't they have a right to an education that is not dictated by the kids who are behind? Last year his class had 25 students--Reading levels: 6 were still on learning how to read on a kindergarten level, 15 were on a 1st grade level, 3 were on grade level, and 1 was above grade level. Math levels: 15 were below grade level (3 were still learning how to recognize numbers 1-25), 4 were on grade level, and 6 were above grade level (not very hard to be when you only cover up to 100 and double digit addition and subtraction).
Because so many people in the class were below grade level, the class only made it half way through their math books.
Who is fighting for the rights of the students on grade level?
... The school has a uniform policy and uses color cards for behavior. If you have a color change you do not get a free choice of clothing on Friday. She never allowed the kids a chance to correct their behavior. I would often say it defeated the purpose of 1st grade when she did that. If a kid messed up on Monday and had to change his color, where was the incentive to do better, the kid had already lost the reward for the week.
My son was tested again this year for the gifted program and again scored 99%ile but was not offered a spot because the classes were filled. Now in 3rd grade he has to take an official year end test and if he scores in the top 10% then he will be invited to take another test and maybe get a spot in the part time program at his school. The odd thing is, he was in that program for 2nd grade and all they did was supplement what he was missing in his regular class. They do not teach science, health, or social studies in 2nd grade at his school.
I just don't get it.
I had to revisit these two posts..
"She never allowed the kids a chance to correct their behavior. ...where was the incentive to do better..."
You don't think that when a child loses an incentive, they eventually learn how to control themselves so they stop losing that incentive? Lose a treat (In this case, a chance to choose clothing on Fridays) once or twice is the incentive to stop the behavior and do better. You don't see that?
You don't get it? You need to teach your son there is a time and a place to talk.
Quote:
Originally Posted by operaphantom2003
Ha ha....we actually went to the store for back to school shopping, went on a 5 mile hike, and had a picnic. He talks where ever he goes and through whatever he's doing unless he really has to be quiet. He gets out several hours every day.
This should tell you something. Apparently he doesn't think he needs to be quiet in school and during other classes. It's up to you to make sure he understands that it's not ok to talk all day in school and during times he REALLY SHOULD BE QUIET. By laughing it off or being upset with the teachers for bringing it up all the time, you are telling him that it isn't him, but everyone else who has the problem. That's not a good idea. He will suffer greatly in the long run.
What about the rights of the students who operate at grade level? Don't they have a right to an education that is not dictated by the kids who are behind? Last year his class had 25 students--Reading levels: 6 were still on learning how to read on a kindergarten level, 15 were on a 1st grade level, 3 were on grade level, and 1 was above grade level. Math levels: 15 were below grade level (3 were still learning how to recognize numbers 1-25), 4 were on grade level, and 6 were above grade level (not very hard to be when you only cover up to 100 and double digit addition and subtraction).
Because so many people in the class were below grade level, the class only made it half way through their math books.
Who is fighting for the rights of the students on grade level?
And you can't find another school to send him to? If you don't drive, don't they have buses in your city? There is no excuse to send a child to a gang-infested school where the children are way behind. No excuse. You have choices if you really want them. Take the money you spend on scouts, tai kwon do, etc and use it for bus fare.
And you can't find another school to send him to? If you don't drive, don't they have buses in your city? There is no excuse to send a child to a gang-infested school where the children are way behind. No excuse. You have choices if you really want them. Take the money you spend on scouts, tai kwon do, etc and use it for bus fare.
Yes we have busses. They do not go to the schools except high schools. Bus fare would cost me roughly $120 a month and then we would have a 3-5 block walk. That being said, most of the schools are closed to transfers due to budget cuts. Last year his school had to let go 4 teachers and this year at registration they said they were having to let 5 go. My only other option is to homeschool which would be nearly impossible now as I hope to find a full time job soon. He quit tae kwon do, scouts is free, and most of what we do is free. Everything I had left over went to buying his school uniforms.
This is not just about him talking in school because he is bored because he was doing the same thing in the karate class when he was interested in what was going on. IMO it is just about the fact that the kid doesn't realize that there are times that he is supposed to be quiet because no one has bothered to teach him. As he gets older, his inability to control himself will end up holding him back.
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