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He is the only 8 year old in the tae kwon do class...the rest of the class are 13 and up. I do think there is a big difference between what an 8 year old can do and what a 13 year old can do. Here is what happened in class last night: the class was shown a new move that had pairs pushing each other and trying to maintain their ground....everyone was laughing and my son was saying "this is fun" (that earned him 10 push ups). Then the instructor showed a different move to the yellow belts where they had to throw another person to the ground...my son said "don't die" (and that earned him 20 push ups). Then the instructor showed some jump kicks and someone broke a board by jumping in the air and kicking it... My son was very excited by seeing this and screached "that was awesome....great job" and earned 50 push ups for that. After class while my son was putting his shoes and socks on, the instructor came over to us and told him "the intermediate class is a privaliage, not a right! If you don't keep your mouth shut then you will be back in beginners class for as long as it takes you to learn to not speak.".
In some ways I understand, but a part of me just wants to tell his instructor off because my son was just acting like a normal little kid.
Sorry, but good for that instructor. Your son has a problem with impulse control. Most kids would have understood after the first set of push ups that they had to not interrupt. Your son sounds likeable and spirited, but there is a problem here. You need to have him evaluated for ADHD. It may not be his issue, but it's a start. Life will get harder for him and the expectations for certain behaviors will increase. He will need to learn how to control the impulses. If he doesn't have ADHD you might want to find out how you can work with him at home. Doing things like having him delay gratification or play games like who can go the longest without talking. Reward charts might work if he gets stickers for all the times he uses self control. And by the way, how is that poor little neighbor boy of yours. Is he okay?
Sorry, but good for that instructor. Your son has a problem with impulse control. Most kids would have understood after the first set of push ups that they had to not interrupt. Your son sounds likeable and spirited, but there is a problem here. You need to have him evaluated for ADHD. It may not be his issue, but it's a start. Life will get harder for him and the expectations for certain behaviors will increase. He will need to learn how to control the impulses. If he doesn't have ADHD you might want to find out how you can work with him at home. Doing things like having him delay gratification or play games like who can go the longest without talking. Reward charts might work if he gets stickers for all the times he uses self control. And by the way, how is that poor little neighbor boy of yours. Is he okay?
He moved. His mother and boyfriend got on housing assistance and they found a house. When the school said they would be holding back her son, she withdrew him from school and transferred him.
Smart, active children need to learn proper etiquette and how to sit still just like other children. Before you consider calling it ADHD, make sure you are doing everything you can discipline-wise to control his behavior. A lot of people resort to drugs as a first resort because they think it's what people are supposed to do, which is crazy.
Smart, active children need to learn proper etiquette and how to sit still just like other children. Before you consider calling it ADHD, make sure you are doing everything you can discipline-wise to control his behavior. A lot of people resort to drugs as a first resort because they think it's what people are supposed to do, which is crazy.
I agree. All children need to learn etiquette and ADHD is not a free pass to be obnoxious.
I also don't think it's cute or age appropriate. Whether or not he has ADHD, he needs to learn bounderies and impulse control. Other wise he will alienate teachers, peers and everyone except perhaps his own mother.
Given the symptoms, it is worth exploring at this time. I am hardly saying "drug the kid and everything will be OK."
ADHD is not "nothing". Untreated it can destroy children's academic and personal lives.
My son will be 8 this month. He has, according to others, a huge problem keeping his mouth shut. His teachers complain about his talking, his tae kwon do instructor complains about his talking, and I even complain about his talking (sometimes my ears just get so tired of listening to what he is going to build) and it is really wearing me down. On one hand, I remember when I was a kid, we had the talkers, the class clowns, the class bully, and everything in between and we all survived and learned. What is wrong with talking because you are excited to learn something new in tae kwon do? I guess I am losing patience with people who put kids into boxes and expect them to be seen but not heard at all times. He is respectful, very bright, eager to learn, and thrives on attention (probably from being an only kid), but never seems to fit the right cookie cutter.
There is a wide range of normal and I guess I am tired of trying to shove him into a mold that suits others. He really only talks when he's bored or excited (both happen quite often during the day...lol). He is testing way above grade level but because of his talking the school will not put him in a more appropriate class. He just got promoted to intermediate class in tae kwon do but now the instructor is threatening to move him back to beginner because of his talking. I'm really not trying to make excuses for him and his seeming lack of self control but then again, I wonder how much self control one really has at this age. I was always the quiet one, my friends were like my son and couldn't be quiet to save their life. I was not called "normal" and them "problem children".
Does anyone have experience with talkative children? Is this normal for martial arts classes to be so demanding of children or is this guy just on a power trip? The instructor was really nice and was trying to help my son learn "self control" while in beginner class but now expects him to act like an adult in intermediate class.
There is nothing WRONG with being overly talkative, but there exists natural consequences for it. It is disruptive to others trying to learn when one child talks too much. Given the fact that you are getting this from multiple, unrelated sources, I would take them at face value. Your son is not currently capable of exerting enough self control to be given all the privileges that go with that skill. Maybe when he is older he will be. But the other kids who are able to manage their talking shouldn't be distracted or in any way kept from a more conducive learning environment just so your son doesn't have to learn to control his behavior.
He is the only 8 year old in the tae kwon do class...the rest of the class are 13 and up. I do think there is a big difference between what an 8 year old can do and what a 13 year old can do. Here is what happened in class last night: the class was shown a new move that had pairs pushing each other and trying to maintain their ground....everyone was laughing and my son was saying "this is fun" (that earned him 10 push ups). Then the instructor showed a different move to the yellow belts where they had to throw another person to the ground...my son said "don't die" (and that earned him 20 push ups). Then the instructor showed some jump kicks and someone broke a board by jumping in the air and kicking it... My son was very excited by seeing this and screached "that was awesome....great job" and earned 50 push ups for that. After class while my son was putting his shoes and socks on, the instructor came over to us and told him "the intermediate class is a privaliage, not a right! If you don't keep your mouth shut then you will be back in beginners class for as long as it takes you to learn to not speak.".
In some ways I understand, but a part of me just wants to tell his instructor off because my son was just acting like a normal little kid.
And at your own admission, little kids are not in the class. It was literally a privilege to join the class, one a "normal little kid" would not be given.
It is clear your son is not ready for this class. The teacher made a mistake, and he should be moved back to the beginner class.
Suggest you get a moment with your son and explain to him that "everyone knows he is smart", "that there are times it is appropriate to talk and times it is not appropriate", and "he is smart enough to know the difference" You might also mention that his talking is disturbing to other children and it makes it hard for the teacher/instructor to keep the class moving on, AKA he is not "helping" the teacher, students, etc. And that you expect him to find a way to do better.
Also suggest that you make some sort of reward system for him to keep for himself for each time that he wants to talk but he refrains. Tallymarks on his notebook or something, I don't know.
I love kids like your son, I had one of similar behavior. But in the long run he is only going to hurt himself, if he keeps this up. And don't fool yourself lol, this is the child's attempts to exert control and power or maybe gain attention.
I have a couple of tips that have worked well for other children. One technique is for the child to have a small toy mouse in their pocket. When he is tempted to blurt something out he should put his hand in his pocket and think "I need to be "quiet as a mouse " while the teacher is talking." Sometimes using a picture of a mouse (or other quiet animal that he likes) on his desk, locker and/or inside his notebook can be used in the same way.
Another method is when the child opens his mouth to talk his cue is to close his mouth and count to 10 quietly in his mind. Usually that gives the child enough time to wait, think and not just blurt out the first thing on his mind.
Sometimes, that means the child will decide not to speak and other times it will just give other children enough time to answer first. These tips can be very effective.
I think Dew is on to something here. The kid is bored, is excited to learn, and wants to be challenged. If his behavior improved when he was challenged with 5th grade work, then I think you have your answer right there.
I have a chatterbox also. Mine is still young though, and at the age where most people think it's cute. When she's 8, I'm sure it won't be so cute. So far, she's been indulged by daycare providers and instructors. She'd rather sit and converse with them than the other children, and they've always accomodated her to a certain extent, then told her it was time to go play with her friends. But I worry that when she starts real school, I'm going to have the same problem you're having. Teachers are there to teach, not babysit and coddle. When something is disrupting their teaching, it is naturally a problem for them. Which is why it seems the teachers at your son's school should be breaking their necks to find appropriate placement for your son, to make things better for themselves and him as well.
I also had a cousin who was very, very obnoxious and disruptive in school. He was a constant discipline problem, and administrators wanted to have him moved to a class for children with behavior problems or a special ed class. Turns out, he was gifted and bored to death in class, and found himself with nothing to do to amuse himself other than be a clown. One teacher saw this and fought for him to go into gifted classes, and once there, the problems went away. He is a doctor now.
If your 8 year old is testing at a 7th grade level, there's no question that he needs to be in an environment that will challenge him and not dampen his spirit and love of learning. As far as tai kwon do, he does need to know when speaking out is not appropriate, and if he cannot control himself and the teacher is not willing to tolerate it, I would do as others have suggested...find another sport or hobby that he can express himself freely.
Preferring adults over other children is one of the signs of giftedness, Annanomus. Sounds like yours will also need the right environment to learn and that may mean a gifted program.
To the OP, I really hope you take Dew's advice for the reasons I highlighted above. Many people are satisfied with molding someone until they fit into the middle ground but with that we risk losing a child's greatest potential, IMO.
I was the talkative child in class like your son. I did it because I was bored to tears. Teachers always talk at the students, they don't engage them. Unless I was talking, I would get sleepy!!!
I wouldn't worry about it honestly. I eventually grew out of it (somewhat) but always received high marks and did well in school. The only complaint was "Veuve is a great student, she just talks to much".
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