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My 6 year old daughter is uncomfortable when there are older boys in the locker room when she's changing. That said, if I had a son her same age I would not want to send him into the locker room or bathroom alone so I can't fault a parent who brings their son into the changing room or bathroom. I'm glad that family changing rooms and family bathrooms are becoming more and more common for this reason.
IMHO Most 3 year olds wouldn't care and even most 4 year olds wouldn't care if they went into the opposite sex changing room with their parent but if your three year old cared and it wasn't a big deal then I see nothing wrong with changing at home.
When I was younger and would go to aerobic classes at the YMCA I would generally come dressed for class and then shower and change at home (only a few blocks away). It just seemed silly to me to bring my shampoo, shower supplies and all my clothes and use those tiny YMCA towels when I had a perfectly good bathroom, with huge towels and total privacy, less than five minutes away. The added plus was that I could change right into my jammies if I wanted to that night.
I think you've just got to choose your battles with your kids. For me, this one just wasn't worth the hassle and I simply found a way around it....
Until they are the age you would have them walk to school, go to the store or do other thing without adult supervision.
If that is age 5 or 6 for your family, than do it then. If it is 15 that is your business.
I think I started sending my brother alone to the bathroom when he was around 12, about the same time he started going alone to friends houses.
IMO bathrooms are different that locker rooms. The OP was talking about a changing room where women and girls are totally naked. It is not an appropriate environment for a 10 or 11 year old boy. It is not fair to the women and girls who are changing and it is not fair to the boy. I think that there can be some discussion about what age it is no longer appropriate for boys to be in women's locker rooms but I am pretty sure that the consensus would be somewhere around age 5, give or take a year NOT 11.
IMO bathrooms are different that locker rooms. The OP was talking about a changing room where women and girls are totally naked. It is not an appropriate environment for a 10 or 11 year old boy. It is not fair to the women and girls who are changing and it is not fair to the boy. I think that there can be some discussion about what age it is no longer appropriate for boys to be in women's locker rooms but I am pretty sure that the consensus would be somewhere around age 5, give or take a year NOT 11.
I agree with this. There is privacy in a bathroom so it's no big deal but there is very little, if any privacy in a changing room and having older boys in the room while girls and women are changing is uncomfortable for many. All of the rec centers around here have family changing rooms so it's rarely a problem.
IMO bathrooms are different that locker rooms. The OP was talking about a changing room where women and girls are totally naked. It is not an appropriate environment for a 10 or 11 year old boy. It is not fair to the women and girls who are changing and it is not fair to the boy. I think that there can be some discussion about what age it is no longer appropriate for boys to be in women's locker rooms but I am pretty sure that the consensus would be somewhere around age 5, give or take a year NOT 11.
Yes, I don't want a 10 or 11 year-old seeing me changing. It is other people's business if you think the proper age is 15 because other people are in there.
Yes, I don't want a 10 or 11 year-old seeing me changing. It is other people's business if you think the proper age is 15 because other people are in there.
I guess, like anything else, there will always be someone to take things to an extreme level. There will be people who will complain about a baby in diapers being in the ladies changing room, and there will be people who feel they can bring their teenager in there if they want and everyone else's privacy be damned. In my dd's swim class that day, the grandmother brought more attention to her granddaughter by dramatically trying to hide her and making a big deal about a little baby boy that was in there. The 6 yr old who was eventually banned always came to class already in his trunks and ready to go, and just needed to change after class.
I do think that 6 yrs is pushing it, just by my own 5 yr old girl's reaction to having to change around boys. However, I do understand the dilemma that mothers of boys are in, and would have never complained unless the boy was going out of his way to stare or make other's uncomfortable. If the facility doesn't have a family changing room option, then they need to at least make the more private stalls with curtains available to the few boys that were there with their moms. But I think if I had a boy, I would just have to teach him to handle things by himself on his own, and let him go in the boy's room. At least he wouldn't have a head full of wet hair to deal with!
If I had a boy and there were no family changing rooms I would have him wear his swim trunks to the pool and he could either ride home in his trunks or change in the car. I think my cutoff age for no longer going in the girls' changing room would be 5/6 simply based on my own daughter suddenly being more modest at that age.
If I had a boy and there were no family changing rooms I would have him wear his swim trunks to the pool and he could either ride home in his trunks or change in the car. I think my cutoff age for no longer going in the girls' changing room would be 5/6 simply based on my own daughter suddenly being more modest at that age.
We do this most of the year, as long as it isn't freezing out. It is just easier and quicker. Thankfully we have family changing rooms to use in the winter. If we didn't I'm not sure what I'd do.
I guess, like anything else, there will always be someone to take things to an extreme level. There will be people who will complain about a baby in diapers being in the ladies changing room, and there will be people who feel they can bring their teenager in there if they want and everyone else's privacy be damned. In my dd's swim class that day, the grandmother brought more attention to her granddaughter by dramatically trying to hide her and making a big deal about a little baby boy that was in there. The 6 yr old who was eventually banned always came to class already in his trunks and ready to go, and just needed to change after class.
I do think that 6 yrs is pushing it, just by my own 5 yr old girl's reaction to having to change around boys. However, I do understand the dilemma that mothers of boys are in, and would have never complained unless the boy was going out of his way to stare or make other's uncomfortable. If the facility doesn't have a family changing room option, then they need to at least make the more private stalls with curtainsavailable to the few boys that were there with their moms. But I think if I had a boy, I would just have to teach him to handle things by himself on his own, and let him go in the boy's room. At least he wouldn't have a head full of wet hair to deal with!
I agree that it can be a problem for parents of slightly older boys or boys with special needs.
The boy that I complained about (who was probably 7 or 8) did not stand by his mother, face away from the girls & women changing or even just ignore us. He walked away from his mom and openly walked around the changing room to (what appeared to us as) "get a better view". He would walk over and stand right in front of a naked woman (just inches away from her body) openly looking at her breasts and private area vs. walking over to the woman next to her that was fully dressed. And his mother never called him back to her or even appeared to notice how uncomfortable it made everyone feel.
In retrospect, he probably didhave special needs,but it was up to his mom to teach him that was inappropriate behavior instead of just ignoring it and complaining later when he (and other boys 6 and over) were banned in the women's shower rooms and changing area. If he was "old enough" to be in a second grade reading book he probably could have been taught appropriate changing room behavior.
Yes, a few areas with curtains may have helped solve that problem. He could have at least stood next to her and not walked around the room forcing everyone else to turn away or cover-up.
Last edited by germaine2626; 06-28-2012 at 02:40 PM..
IMO bathrooms are different that locker rooms. The OP was talking about a changing room where women and girls are totally naked. It is not an appropriate environment for a 10 or 11 year old boy. It is not fair to the women and girls who are changing and it is not fair to the boy. I think that there can be some discussion about what age it is no longer appropriate for boys to be in women's locker rooms but I am pretty sure that the consensus would be somewhere around age 5, give or take a year NOT 11.
And I was responding to (you can tell from the quoted response above mine) someone who was specifically discussing a bathroom.
Regardless, as I stated before, cover his eyes and stick him in a stall in the changing room for those who are uncomfortable.
I have an 12 yo cousin who is developmentally and emotionally delayed. He is not capable of dealing with changing himself without adult supervision. I am grateful that our local health club has a family changing room so he can get changed since apparently telling him to shut his eyes, and then sticking him in a stall is not "appropriate" in your opinion. So if someone has a child who is not mature enough to manage on their own, and family facilities are not available, they should just not enjoy public facilities. Got it.
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