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Yeah, I really don't get the "deadbeat dad" and divorce comments. Seems pretty dramatic.
On any thread there are always the extreme posters, many who say things just for the shock value or to get attention Regular posters learn to ignore them.
It does seem like there is a lot of support for dad on this thread too.
As I mentioned in a post above I think that the OP should think of all of her relationships when naming this child. The tradition in the family means a lot to many people other than her husband. Those people are the family members of her unborn child. They are that child's aunts and uncles and grandparents. I don't think that the OP really wants to be in the position of being the one that breaks the family tradition.
FWIW-I like the name Henry.
I am glad we are Jewish. We name after deceased ancestors. No Jrs, II, III, etc...
]On any thread there are always the extreme posters, many who say things just for the shock value or to get attention Regular posters learn to ignore them[/b].
It does seem like there is a lot of support for dad on this thread too.
I hope the OP is paying attention
I am not saying anything to shock intentionally.
My point is -
THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE THE MARRIAGE WILL END.
Statistically.
OP will then have a child (who may or may not be adequately supported by her ex and his family) who has a name she DESPISES.
She doesn't just dislike the names, she REALLY dislikes the names.
As I said.....where does it end? Are we going to see Henry Louis the 55th?
And those older folks to whom it is so important - they've had their kids, they've chosen the names. Why can't OP do the same?
,
Please remember I have a different viewpoint because this Jnr, Snr, II, III thing is VERY American. It doesn't mean its wrong or right, but Australians do struggle with the idea.
I don't know where OP lives but I'm damned sure it isn't Buckingham Castle.
That kid will HATE his name.
The older generation just need to get used to the fact that things are changing. So she calls the baby King Henry whatever...does this child's future wife have to bow down too? Are we going to have a Henry Louis the XXIII? When does it end????????????
By the way, more than 50% of marriages end in divorce. There is a massive deadbeat dad problem in the the world, because men choose not to pay their child support. This could well end up happening to OP (especially with inlaws like that) and then she will be really, really annoyed that she allowed herself to get bullied like this.
On top of anything else, what about the mail? Is your kid going to spend his life opening his father's, and vice versa?
You know what I would do? I'd shove another name in there, Henry Louis SnoopDoggy Smith. Then you can just call him Snoopy.
BTW I thought about Henry for my son. I love it...but it's the principle of the thing.
I've never been too wound up with naming kiddies. And I trust women to make better names. My mom had control over naming me. So she did good. My Dad named my brother and he totally screwed up by picking a name the English speaking world cannot pronounce, but means a Christian saint in my native tongue. I was told he was insistent. The dude ended up hating it and he went to all lengths to change it and has now taken his second name as his official one. That's how we all have been calling him anyway, since birth, coz the first one sounds a little funky.
My first name is slick and it's so fashionable that people keep telling the croc that it sticks and is very catchy on their mind, which is good. Coz everyone can associate the crocodile's name with him even if they came across his snout just once.
So if the dudes love the naming so damn much that they have to rob the pregnant wife of sleep, they can do the carrying for 9 months and shoot the juniors out of their asses.
OP will then have a child (who may or may not be adequately supported by her ex and his family) who has a name she DESPISES.
She doesn't just dislike the names, she REALLY dislikes the names.
As I said.....where does it end? Are we going to see Henry Louis the 55th?
And those older folks to whom it is so important - they've had their kids, they've chosen the names. Why can't OP do the same?
,
Please remember I have a different viewpoint because this Jnr, Snr, II, III thing is VERY American.
No, there's not. There is a 50% chance, maybe less. Even if there is a divorce, it could be 20 years down the road after this kid has been raised. Even if it happens sooner, the dad could remain very involved. Why does it matter where it ends? Why would it have to end? Why should it?
THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE THE MARRIAGE WILL END. Statistically.
OP will then have a child (who may or may not be adequately supported by her ex and his family) who has a name she DESPISES.
She doesn't just dislike the names, she REALLY dislikes the names.
As I said.....where does it end? Are we going to see Henry Louis the 55th?
And those older folks to whom it is so important - they've had their kids, they've chosen the names. Why can't OP do the same?
,
Please remember I have a different viewpoint because this Jnr, Snr, II, III thing is VERY American. It doesn't mean its wrong or right, but Australians do struggle with the idea.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neniathe
In all other matters, we have been able to discuss and compromise, consider, and reach a solution which meets both of our needs. We've been together for seven years,
This doesn't sound like the type of relationship that has a "good chance" of ending in divorce.
No, there's not. There is a 50% chance, maybe less. Even if there is a divorce, it could be 20 years down the road after this kid has been raised. Even if it happens sooner, the dad could remain very involved. Why does it matter where it ends? Why would it have to end? Why should it?
Well it's like this...
I went to a lawyer to get my will done.
My lawyer asked a few questions and then wrote me a LIFETIME WILL.
That means that no matter what changes occur in the meantime, my will is written that my kids then their kids get my cash.
No matter who marries who, that is the way it is going to be. It is called FUTURE PLANNING, takes all possible scenarios into consideration, and still ensures what I desire will happen.
Future planning (especially in this case) makes sense. This husband will not budge on one little tiny thing that isupsetting his pregnant wife. If I were her lawyer, I would recommend a little FUTURE PLANNING...eg, maybe you will get sick of him and his family, and maybe you will divorce HIM. Future planning would dictate that you don't lumber your son with a name you will be unhappy about for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.
The oldies who want him to be xxx will be LONG GONE by the time the kid is grown. However, OP will be the one who has to call her son by his name, forever.
FUTURE PLANNING would suggest that she not use a name which she despises as it may become a REAL REGRET IN THE FUTURE.
The husband and his family sound like real jerks to me...instead of celebrating the miracle of birth, they are getting uptight about NAMES????????? Please.
My lawyer asked a few questions and then wrote me a LIFETIME WILL.
That means that no matter what changes occur in the meantime, my will is written that my kids then their kids get my cash.
No matter who marries who, that is the way it is going to be. It is called FUTURE PLANNING, takes all possible scenarios into consideration, and still ensures what I desire will happen.
Future planning (especially in this case) makes sense.This husband will not budge on one little tiny thing that isupsetting his pregnant wife. If I were her lawyer, I would recommend a little FUTURE PLANNING...eg, maybe you will get sick of him and his family, and maybe you will divorce HIM. Future planning would dictate that you don't lumber your son with a name you will be unhappy about for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.
The oldies who want him to be xxx will be LONG GONE by the time the kid is grown. However, OP will be the one who has to call her son by his name, forever.
FUTURE PLANNING would suggest that she not use a name which she despises as it may become a REAL REGRET IN THE FUTURE.
The husband and his family sound like real jerks to me...instead of celebrating the miracle of birth, they are getting uptight about NAMES????????? Please.
I have a will. I understand how that works. That has nothing to do with the issue at hand. What the kid's name is will have no bearing on anything if this couple gets a divorce. If you said it is important to keep yourself employable, or make sure you have access to your household financial info, or to save money for retirement, I'd agree 100% that it is important to plan for the future. What you are saying is not to name your child after your husband in case you end up divorced. That is ridiculous.
If it is such a tiny little thing, why shouldn't she let her husband follow his family tradition? The wife will not budge on one not so tiny thing that is important to her husband, and has been since before she was in the picture.
And yet you've been with Henry Louis V for seven years. This can NOT be a surprise.
I'm voting hormones.
Or a fight with his mother. One of the two.
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Seems pretty dramatic.
Regular posters learn to ignore them.
