Spouse Irreconcilable on Baby Name (chart, learning, elementary school, engage)
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Your husband has expressed a legitimate family reason for it, with a couple of centuries standing. It is not just a whim on his part. He is probably under a lot of pressure from his family to conform with the family tradition. Let him have the naming rights.
No because that just lets them think they can do this with any tradition they seem fit. To be honest in all realities he already has had it his way because his wife and his children will bear her surname. So she should in the end have more say if you ask me. She is being reasonable and he is not.
Hmm.. I was told that all states did it now. Certainly true for both LA and TX.
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While the Texas school systems must use legal names on all official paperwork, it is never required when addressing the student, when the student puts their names on their papers or in many publications.
Examples - John Robert (last name) is simply JR. That is what everyone calls him, that is what he lists as his name on all papers including how he signs his artwork, and that is how he is listed in the yearbook.
Katherine is Katie. Always. Unless you sneak a peek at her report card.
Even though this is not a person currently in school, I have a cousin who since he was a baby has been known as Bubba. There are very few people who know his given name, much less that he is a junior. He's in his late 40's and still is Bubba in everything he does, unless it is certain pieces of legal paperwork. He even has his checking account and signature as Bubba. lol
I think naming your child after yourself is the ultimate in vanity. Giving them one name then using a nickname does nothing but cause confusion. I do think that giving your kid one of the names of someone important in your life is a nice way of honoring them. My son's middle name is my deceased father-in-laws first name.
In all situations of disagreement, the person who truly cares the most will win the choice. Whichever parent cares that much more than the other, they will win the choice no matter how much fight the other puts up.
What will happen after that though will be up to how they each choose to react. The person who doesn't get their choice can choose to harbor resentment or they can choose to accept and respect that their partner cared enough to fight for it.
The person who does get their choice can choose to be humble and grateful or they can choose to harbor resentment because they HAD to fight for their choice.
The bottom line is, where do you want to land after the baby is born?
Will either of you neglect the baby because they have a name you resent?
Will either of you try to keep the baby from the other because you feel you won the choice and deserve more from the baby?
If you both have expressed love for the baby now when you don't yet know what the gender is or have a name settled, do you think that will change once you do know the gender and decide on a name?
I appreciate all the feedback. It is helpful to see both sides of the argument and take all the information in. So thank you!
I confess I find the idea of calling someone by a name that isn't their given names a bit confusing. If I call the baby "David" or "Luc" but his name is Henry Louis, how does that work? Poor kid might be rather confused. People might wonder too. My husband choosing the boy's name and me choosing the girl's name is too one-sided a solution to really work for us. (especially since we have found mutual girl's names we enjoy a lot, such as Catherine) None of the proposed choices have been particularly outlandish either, and I've tried to use the insights from seeing what he likes for girls to consider alternatives for boys.
No matter what, I'm going to love this child. I'm still amazed and in awe of what's happening, and every updated ultrasound builds that a little more. Shouldn't that make Henry Louis a fine choice as long as the baby is healthy? Maybe, but leaving it that ignores my feelings, wants, and considerations somewhat. I still feel a bit disregarded if I have no say in his name, particularly if it's a combination I am not positive about.
I appreciate all the feedback. It is helpful to see both sides of the argument and take all the information in. So thank you!
I confess I find the idea of calling someone by a name that isn't their given names a bit confusing. If I call the baby "David" or "Luc" but his name is Henry Louis, how does that work? Poor kid might be rather confused. People might wonder too. My husband choosing the boy's name and me choosing the girl's name is too one-sided a solution to really work for us. (especially since we have found mutual girl's names we enjoy a lot, such as Catherine) None of the proposed choices have been particularly outlandish either, and I've tried to use the insights from seeing what he likes for girls to consider alternatives for boys.
No matter what, I'm going to love this child. I'm still amazed and in awe of what's happening, and every updated ultrasound builds that a little more. Shouldn't that make Henry Louis a fine choice as long as the baby is healthy? Maybe, but leaving it that ignores my feelings, wants, and considerations somewhat. I still feel a bit disregarded if I have no say in his name, particularly if it's a combination I am not positive about.
Try to remember, many of us grow up being called variations of our legal given names, or even nicknames that have absolutely nothing to do with our given names, and none of us are at all "confused" or scarred by it
I appreciate all the feedback. It is helpful to see both sides of the argument and take all the information in. So thank you!
I confess I find the idea of calling someone by a name that isn't their given names a bit confusing. If I call the baby "David" or "Luc" but his name is Henry Louis, how does that work? Poor kid might be rather confused. People might wonder too. My husband choosing the boy's name and me choosing the girl's name is too one-sided a solution to really work for us. (especially since we have found mutual girl's names we enjoy a lot, such as Catherine) None of the proposed choices have been particularly outlandish either, and I've tried to use the insights from seeing what he likes for girls to consider alternatives for boys.
No matter what, I'm going to love this child. I'm still amazed and in awe of what's happening, and every updated ultrasound builds that a little more. Shouldn't that make Henry Louis a fine choice as long as the baby is healthy? Maybe, but leaving it that ignores my feelings, wants, and considerations somewhat. I still feel a bit disregarded if I have no say in his name, particularly if it's a combination I am not positive about.
I guess you have to ask yourself if your husband is respectful of your opinions, and treats you as an equal in all other areas, then is this the issue that is worth falling on a sword for? You know it's very important to him, is it important to you, or is it now the principle of the matter?
Try to remember, many of us grow up being called variations of our legal given names, or even nicknames that have absolutely nothing to do with our given names, and none of us are at all "confused" or scarred by it
Well my aunt's name is Muriel. My grandparents always called her Priscilla (her middle name). When she went to kindergarten the people at the school told my grandmother that my aunt might be retarded because she did not know her name. I think my aunt is over it now (she's almost 70) and uses Muriel but it is a funny family story.
I think the issue was caused by a lack of communication on my grandmother's part. My grandmother's English wasn't great and I don't think she was able to tell the people at the school the whole story.
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Seems pretty dramatic.
