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How about Lewis Henry? We did the same with my Husbands name when our son was born, just switched the name around
If they are going to break the tradition and not have a VI, they might as well choose something different altogether. Also, someone else in the family might have a boy and name him Henry Lewis VI, which will be very odd for cousin Lewis Henry.
1. It's highly doubtful that all five Henry Louises are still living. There is no real reason to keep up the numbers except to boast that there are so many. I realize that doesn't help the main problem, though, which is that the OP doesn't like the name Henry Louis.
2. The OP married a Henry Louis. I agree that it probably stings to be told that your wife hates your name. There was a similar thread a while back, with the name Clarence or some such.
3. I think Henry is a fine name. Henry V is also my favorite Shakespearean play. I'm not crazy about Louis, but whattayado.
4. My brother-in-law is a III, but his first and last name are somewhat comical together. He goes by Trey, a common nickname for IIIs. (We used to joke that we'd call his son Quatro, but he and my sister-in-law named their son something else.) It got me thinking, though, that perhaps there's a decent nickname meaning "six." What about Luc? It's Sino-Vietnamese for six and a common American name, although spelled the French way.
Surely this subject came up when you were dating, or at the very least before you ever got pregnant? Please don't tell me this is the first you've ever heard of your husbands expectation to continue his family tradition? Or did you just do what many women foolishly do - believe that you could make him change his mind??
We've been together for 7 years. In that time, we discussed baby names and his position was much more flexible then. He floated a few names he liked (mostly for girls, a few for boys) along with the possibility of continuing his family name. I actually brought up the boy's names he mentioned in some of those discussions as possibilities or starting points, since all of them were lovely, and he shook his head to them all. For a second child, if we were ever to have one, he said they were great choices but not for a firstborn.
His position became really entrenched; that's why it is so much of an emotional flashpoint for me now, because up until this point we had been agreeable to finding a great name. He's absolutely supportive and excited about all aspects of the pregnancy, and he has been marvelous. It's this one issue. So no, I didn't come into this thinking I could change his mind on an expectation that was set in concrete because up until now it wasn't ever concrete.
I am thinking of talking quietly to his mother and sounding out her opinion; maybe he needs to hear from his family that it's okay for us to choose a different name, especially if we preserve one of them as a legacy to the family. His family has never been overbearing upon our decisions, and having that extra voice of support might help.
People seem to think that the husband is being unreasonable about wanting to carry on the naming tradition, but no one is asking the OP why she is so unrelenting about NOT naming the child that name. I'm not taking a side or attacking the OP, just trying to be fair. We're all hearing about this from her, so we only get her side of it.
Another point I thought I might make in response to this. My husband goes by a nickname, so do his dad and his grandfather (Hal and Harry). None of them use the specific name.
There are a few reasons as to why I dislike both the names. One or two are concrete, and I've expressed them. An older family member in my family had the name, and he was a terribly unpleasant individual who harmed relationships with my relatives/myself, which in part informs why I'm not very keen on using it for a baby. My spouse understands that. I recognize some are irrational or emotionally driven, much as certain people absolutely can't stand the taste of brussel sprouts, the color orange, hip hop music, etc. They are not my preference. They fall in the category of 'I don't care much for it' and 'I really dislike it'. Exposure and really trying to change my opinion about them by framing them in a positive light, looking at all the great people in history and society, exploring the family tree and the background of the names, hasn't fundamentally shifted them to the point where I feel I could live happily with both alone.
I've talked to my spouse, I've talked to my family, and I've turned here to see how I can resolve it to where we're both satisfied. I wanted to go with one of the names and a middle name, a different name with both names, both names with a second name. I could live with Henry Louis if we added another name since I feel that is important, but he doesn't wish to break the line of Henry Louises by doing even that because his ancestors didn't have additional names. None of those are go with my husband. I also feel rather sad that I don't have any input on the names if baby's a boy. Feels a bit like my opinion doesn't matter because this one thing is set, period, full stop when it never was before.
It's just this one issue and this one instance he's attached to an ideal I understand, but I'm finding difficult and upsetting because inflexibility shuts me out any discussion or compromise for our only child. I want to compromise with him to honour the tradition in a way that makes us both content, like finding a name which is ours, one that might suit our son, one that holds as much meaning and affection and love as he has for his names. We both made this baby, we're both going to love it no matter what it is, and a choice of name is meant to celebrate that. Baby will bear his surname just like I do, and my ultimate hope is that he or she will bear two or three names that we jointly bestowed as our gifts. Family desires are important, but I feel I have an equal say in the discussion, as much as he does. Never for the life of me would I consider grabbing the birth certificate form in a hormone/drug/exhaustion induced haze, slapping down the names I liked best, and calling it a day. For a girl, he's been creative, receptive, and cooperative about names. It's just the boy. I've reiterated that I'm sensitive and open to his wishes if we can find something that will accommodate my hopes as well, and it's falling into a murky place.
I don't know his exact motivation for needing the name just so, just that way. Fear of disapproval if he changed it? He's not particularly traditional in many other areas, so his absolute insistence is a bit new. Childhood expectation held into adulthood? Overwhelmed with awareness he's about to be a dad? I'm trying to figure it out so we can address it. I love this man, and I want to find the right way to go about this.
Also: Luc is a great one. I like that! I'll try suggesting it to him and see what he says.
We've been together for 7 years. In that time, we discussed baby names and his position was much more flexible then. He floated a few names he liked (mostly for girls, a few for boys) along with the possibility of continuing his family name. I actually brought up the boy's names he mentioned in some of those discussions as possibilities or starting points, since all of them were lovely, and he shook his head to them all. For a second child, if we were ever to have one, he said they were great choices but not for a firstborn.
His position became really entrenched; that's why it is so much of an emotional flashpoint for me now, because up until this point we had been agreeable to finding a great name. He's absolutely supportive and excited about all aspects of the pregnancy, and he has been marvelous. It's this one issue. So no, I didn't come into this thinking I could change his mind on an expectation that was set in concrete because up until now it wasn't ever concrete.
I am thinking of talking quietly to his mother and sounding out her opinion; maybe he needs to hear from his family that it's okay for us to choose a different name, especially if we preserve one of them as a legacy to the family. His family has never been overbearing upon our decisions, and having that extra voice of support might help.
It seems like the baby name has become a power play. Unfortunately it appears that its an all or nothing decision. You can name the baby Henry Louis VI or something completely different. There doesn't appear to be a compromise that would leave both of you happy.
In that case, would you be willing to name your child Henry Louis on the condition that if you have a second son, or if you have a daughter, you will choose the child's name (your husband could put in his 2 cents, but ultimately you would have the final say?
This would make both of you feel empowered and could go a long way towards resolving any hurt feelings.
I wouldn't get his family involved; it's a decision you and your husband have to make together.
I was in a similar situation, with not particularly liking the name my husband was insistent on. But I knew from before we got married that this was a big issue for him, so I made my peace with it. It sounds like you, too, knew from before the baby being conceived that this was a done deal for him, and so this discussion, if it is a deal breaker for you, should have taken place way before now.
How about a compromise of you get to choose the girl name?
I wouldn't get his family involved; it's a decision you and your husband have to make together.
I agree with this statement. Whatever you decide to do it is between you and your husband. Although I think you should consider how this might affect your relationship with your in laws, I do not think you should involve them in the decision.
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