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Ivory - quit being so dense. The calculator is NOT the issue. The issue is your disregard for your older daughter and your favoritism of your younger one. It is apparent in many of your posts not just this one. Clearly you need to seek professional help to develop strategies for dealing with DD1 in a way that makes her feel that you value her.
I was going off what you said in post #15, that most students don't have calculators and have to borrow them for the school.
That is borrow them during class. The school does not loan out $200 calculators like library books. In fact, they require students give the teacher one of their shoes to get one. The teacher is responsible for the calculators and there's hell to pay if one goes missing.
The school will loan them to a student FROM OUR SCHOOL who is taking the ACT. That's the only time I've seen them loaned out. Dd#2 doesn't attend my school. Dd#1 does. That her sister is borrowing her calculator for 4 hours is not reason to borrow one from the school. I'm amazed that you cannot see that. Dd#2 did not have the option of borrowing one from her school. They don't even have enough for all of the math classes and they are highly protected. Dd was expected to provide her own calculator.
Ivory - quit being so dense. The calculator is NOT the issue. The issue is your disregard for your older daughter and your favoritism of your younger one. It is apparent in many of your posts not just this one. Clearly you need to seek professional help to develop strategies for dealing with DD1 in a way that makes her feel that you value her.
Nope. That dd#1 was behaving selfishly is the issue here. I have no idea why you are insisting in twisting this into something it is not. I did not disregard dd#1 here. I knew she wouldn't even be awake to use the calculator while her sister needed it and she wasn't. If I had not asked her to bring it home, it likely would have stayed where it does every weekend. In her locker. There was, absolutely, no inconvenience to dd#1. NONE. She just wants to pretend she was put out when she wasn't so she can feel sorry for herself.
Seriously, I don't recall the last time dd#1 brought the calculator home. She uses it in class. She likes being one of the kids who has her own. At home, she, usually, uses my little calculator or my computer if she needs something more on the rare occaision she actually does homework at home (she, usually, does it at lunch or after school when she's waiting for me).
You're making a mountain out of a mole hill. Which is, exactly, what dd#1 likes to do.
That is borrow them during class. The school does not loan out $200 calculators like library books. In fact, they require students give the teacher one of their shoes to get one. The teacher is responsible for the calculators and there's hell to pay if one goes missing.
The school will loan them to a student FROM OUR SCHOOL who is taking the ACT. That's the only time I've seen them loaned out. Dd#2 doesn't attend my school. Dd#1 does. That her sister is borrowing her calculator for 4 hours is not reason to borrow one from the school. I'm amazed that you cannot see that.
OK. I was trying to offer solutions- usually the proper response would be "Thank you, but that won't work", but different strokes for different folks I guess. Most of us here are trying to help, there is no need to get angry.
That is borrow them during class. The school does not loan out $200 calculators like library books. In fact, they require students give the teacher one of their shoes to get one. The teacher is responsible for the calculators and there's hell to pay if one goes missing.
The school will loan them to a student FROM OUR SCHOOL who is taking the ACT. That's the only time I've seen them loaned out. Dd#2 doesn't attend my school. Dd#1 does. That her sister is borrowing her calculator for 4 hours is not reason to borrow one from the school. I'm amazed that you cannot see that.
I don't have TI-84's in my classroom. I have dollar store Casio's. Dd needed a graphing calculator to take the ACT. Borrowing one from a math teacher wouldn't work because they're school bus yellow and schools don't let kids walk out with them. Dd, likely would have had it confiscated on the way out and then I'd have to explain how a graphing calculator belonging to my school ended up at her school and figure out how to get it back. There is no issue with her walking out with my black one and there is NO REASON I needed to borrow one for dd#1 to use while dd#2 used mine. We're talking four hours here people. Put this in perspective. If there were reason to borrow a calculator from my school, I would have but there wasn't so I didn't. Why do you think I need to make up excuses to borrow school property for dd#1 to use when her classmates don't get the same?
Seriously, it is NOT a big deal for dd#1 to let dd#2 use MY calculator for 4 hours. I have no idea why some of you are making a mountain out of a mole hill on this one. It's four hours. Four hours that dd#1 is usually sleeping and was. Why do you think it's such an issue for her to let her sister use the calculator? Talk about pandering to her.
You don't seem to get that it is not about the calculator. It never was. Like you said, she wouldn't have touched the calculator anyway, wouldn't have used it to study with anyway. It wasn't even as simple as being jealous of her sister. It just may have been a cry to feel important and to feel like she matters too. I think people keep bringing it up because it seems like quite a simple solution, and if it would bolster the child's fragile sense of self worth for just a moment, why not?
I think your reaction to opinions and suggestions on this forum is remarkably like you describe your DD. You're getting offended, calling people's suggestions "crap," refusing to see that you may be contributing to your DD's behavior or trying to figure out what you can do to help. In your eyes, SHE'S the problem, not you. In her eyes, YOUR the problem, not her. Maybe, as her mother and the grown up, you could be the one to back down and see things from her point of view, and try to fix it on that level? And of course, if your DD has other issues going on, which you have implied but not gone into detail with (which is a good call btw) then she's not simply being a brat. She's disturbed and hurting. I wouldn't "pander" to a kid just being a simple brat, but I would pander to my disturbed, sad, and confused daughter, if it meant it might help her. And by pandering I don't mean kissing her ass and praising her toenails, I mean genuinely putting forth the effort to understand her and let her know she is not only loved, but liked and necessary in our family.
I said I was done with this thread, because you seem not to want to hear anyone unless they're agreeing with you in some way. This is my last ditch effort. Hopefully, you might be able to see that there are people here who actually want the best for your dd.
Nope. That dd#1 was behaving selfishly is the issue here. I have no idea why you are insisting in twisting this into something it is not. I did not disregard dd#1 here. I knew she wouldn't even be awake to use the calculator while her sister needed it and she wasn't. There was, absolutely, no inconvenience to dd#1. NONE. She just wants to pretend she was put out when she wasn't.
Again dense. Don't you see that DD1 feels you're taking yet one more thing from her and giving it to her sister? All you have to say about DD1 are negatives while DD2 is cast in the role of golden child. If we can tell this by posts on the internet, I'm sure DD1 is clear on where she stands in your eyes. The calculator is a symptom of the problem not the problem.
Please seek help for your sake and especially for your daughter.
You don't seem to get that it is not about the calculator. It never was. Like you said, she wouldn't have touched the calculator anyway, wouldn't have used it to study with anyway. It wasn't even as simple as being jealous of her sister. It just may have been a cry to feel important and to feel like she matters too. I think people keep bringing it up because it seems like quite a simple solution, and if it would bolster the child's fragile sense of self worth for just a moment, why not?
I think your reaction to opinions and suggestions on this forum is remarkably like you describe your DD. You're getting offended, calling people's suggestions "crap," refusing to see that you may be contributing to your DD's behavior or trying to figure out what you can do to help. In your eyes, SHE'S the problem, not you. In her eyes, YOUR the problem, not her. Maybe, as her mother and the grown up, you could be the one to back down and see things from her point of view, and try to fix it on that level? And of course, if your DD has other issues going on, which you have implied but not gone into detail with (which is a good call btw) then she's not simply being a brat. She's disturbed and hurting. I wouldn't "pander" to a kid just being a simple brat, but I would pander to my disturbed, sad, and confused daughter, if it meant it might help her. And by pandering I don't mean kissing her ass and praising her toenails, I mean genuinely putting forth the effort to understand her and let her know she is not only loved, but liked and necessary in our family.
I said I was done with this thread, because you seem not to want to hear anyone unless they're agreeing with you in some way. This is my last ditch effort. Hopefully, you might be able to see that there are people here who actually want the best for your dd.
Borrowing a $200 calculator from the school without reason is not simple. I'd need a good reason. That dd#1 didn't want to loan her sister, who doesn't even attend the same school, my calculator for 4 hours is not good reason. Dd#1 can share. Period. Last time I looked sharing was a good trait.
IMO, making dd#1 share did far more good than pandering to her drama ever could. She didn't need the calculator and her sister did. The solution is quite simple.
Borrowing a $200 calculator from the school without reason is not simple. I'd need a good reason. That dd#1 didn't want to loan her sister, who doesn't even attend the same school, my calculator for 4 hours is not good reason. Dd#1 can share. Period. Last time I looked sharing was a good trait.
UGH. Please try to keep up.... I DO NOT HAVE TI-84's in MY ROOM at MY DISPOSAL. I HAVE DOLLAR STORE CASIOS. I didn't need to borrow one of those because I have one of my own at home. The MATH teachers have the TI's and keep them under lock and key. It was not a simple matter of just borrowing one. And even if I did have a set, I wouldn't because of the risk that dd#2's school would think it was theirs because the ones they sell schools are all the same color so schools know to stop students from leaving with them. They're school bus yellow.
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Talk about pandering to her.