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My two boys seem to tease, provoke and hit one another constantly. They are 6 and 8 years old. We spend too much time refereeing their fights and arguments. The younger teases the older who hits the younger who in turn comes and tells. At other times, the older teases the younger who hits the older. This cycle results in screaming, telling on each other, and sometimes hitting each other. Any thoughts from those who have two children close in age and who experienced something similar.
My two boys seem to tease, provoke and hit one another constantly. They are 6 and 8 years old. We spend too much time refereeing their fights and arguments. The younger teases the older who hits the younger who in turn comes and tells. At other times, the older teases the younger who hits the older. This cycle results in screaming, telling on each other, and sometimes hitting each other. Any thoughts from those who have two children close in age and who experienced something similar.
Wow - really? How odd!
or not.
Tell them there is to be no hitting. Then stay out of it. Let them work it out.
sit them down and tell them no matter "who started it", who hit who, who is crying, who tells, both will be punished next time there is a fight. AND FOLLOW THROUGH. Take away privileges, toys etc . it won't be easy at first but eventually they will learn how to get along. Absolutely do not tolerate hitting and screaming.
They will bitterly complain that "it isn't fair" and you are mean but if you give them the tools to work things out they eventually will.
We had our kids sit together to learn how to work out problems. Be careful one is not allowed to dominate the other with intimidation . listening to how they handle these conflicts will give you insight into what is really happening in their relationship.
The secret is to fully explain what you are going to do and BOTH parents must be on board with how conflicts will be handled CONSISTENTLY. Tell them you will not listen to any excuses and then don't. I promise if they see you mean business and punish them both at the same time you will get results.
If you are spanking parents trying to teach kids not to hit each other is not going to work. If they are spanked when you are mad and for punishment they are reasoning that that is how things are done. It sends a mixed message.
I have to say I used to tease and provoke my younger brother at times as a child, because I was upset at my parents fighting or being teased myself at school. It was just a (bad) way to let frustration out, of course I cringe to think of it now. Just my 2 cents.
I have to say I used to tease and provoke my younger brother at times as a child, because I was upset at my parents fighting or being teased myself at school. It was just a (bad) way to let frustration out, of course I cringe to think of it now. Just my 2 cents.
Good point here. This seems to occur the first hour after school.
sit them down and tell them no matter "who started it", who hit who, who is crying, who tells, both will be punished next time there is a fight. AND FOLLOW THROUGH. Take away privileges, toys etc . it won't be easy at first but eventually they will learn how to get along. Absolutely do not tolerate hitting and screaming.
They will bitterly complain that "it isn't fair" and you are mean but if you give them the tools to work things out they eventually will.
We had our kids sit together to learn how to work out problems. Be careful one is not allowed to dominate the other with intimidation . listening to how they handle these conflicts will give you insight into what is really happening in their relationship.
The secret is to fully explain what you are going to do and BOTH parents must be on board with how conflicts will be handled CONSISTENTLY. Tell them you will not listen to any excuses and then don't. I promise if they see you mean business and punish them both at the same time you will get results.
If you are spanking parents trying to teach kids not to hit each other is not going to work. If they are spanked when you are mad and for punishment they are reasoning that that is how things are done. It sends a mixed message.
We absolutely do not spank. Good point about consistency and being on the same page. Incidentally, they are both very well behaved at school and we've only heard positive comments on their behavior. I wonder if they're bottling it all up and then letting it out after school? It's a tale of two worlds, sometimes it seems.
My kids fight I put them in time out holding hands for however long the oldest is since I have three. At the end of time out they need to say one thing nice to each other in a nice an pleasant manner. This will work I started this after talking to a retired pediatrician 9 yrs ago. Taking away things did not work and spanking is not used since of the old saying violence begets violence. Some parents say let them duke it out and I found out that does not work with our kids either. Hope it helps but be consistent whatever you decide.
P.S. Girls are even worse because they use verbal abuse.
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