Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I was wondering how well it was working out as your home location is Hell,lol?
Some kids are responsible enough where they don't need boundaries and other's do much better with them even when they are of legal age. Mine is the later.
That was set forever ago and never changed.
It WOULD be hell if my mom still kept those rules on me.
And I think its a very good solution to the problems.
Set "quiet hours". From X-X and say if you come in during those times I better not hear you.
As for spending the night with friends/bf/gf I would say a simple "I am sleeping at X's house tonight" should suffice.
Yep, he is the Absent Minded Unprofessor and who wants to constantly call during your first trip away alone in years! I just don't want to worry about the other living creatures in my house while I am gone. Maybe I will hire someone to come in twice a day for peace of mind to let the dogs out, put them back in the kennel and make sure they are fed. It would be worth the $100 for peace of mind. He will hate it, but oh well.
I'd say keep your $100 this time and let your son handle it just this once.
Set extra water dishes out and feed the dogs on Friday before you leave if you want to. You'll be back on Sunday so even if he forgets to feed them, you're only talking one day without food. Put notes up in the house reminding him what needs to be done. Leave a key with a trusted neighbor in case he locks himself out of the house and/or someone needs to enter the house to check on him.
If he forgets to let the dogs out, he'll be the one to come home to poo and pee on the floor. And he'll be the one that has to clean it up. I'll bet he won't let that happen again .
*That* happened after giving him responsibilites and not following through, like keep the dogs crated when you leave the house, feed your lizard, etc. The lizard would be dead if I didn't remind him to feed him and I just can't let the thing die to prove a point.
Then it really is not HIS lizard. It is yours. He is not responsible because he does not need to be. You are. So long as you take responsibility FOR him, he won't need to. If you shield him from the consequences of irresponsibility, then what would cause him to TAKE responsibility? It isn't about the lizard. It is about your son learnign not to reply on Mamma sometime before he turns 40.
Then it really is not HIS lizard. It is yours. He is not responsible because he does not need to be. You are. So long as you take responsibility FOR him, he won't need to. If you shield him from the consequences of irresponsibility, then what would cause him to TAKE responsibility? It isn't about the lizard. It is about your son learnign not to reply on Mamma sometime before he turns 40.
On the other hand, she may be concerned that he'll forget to lock the front door or that he'll forget to turn off the stove when he's cooking his dinner and set the house on fire. Maybe he only gets to work/school on time because she wakes him up in the morning.
(Maybe) She's afraid that if she goes away for the weekend she'll come home to a burned down/broken in house and a son that has lost his job/flunked an exam because he has overslept. Forgetful kids can be a hard thing to deal with, for sure.
On the other hand, she may be concerned that he'll forget to lock the front door or that he'll forget to turn off the stove when he's cooking his dinner and set the house on fire. Maybe he only gets to work/school on time because she wakes him up in the morning.
(Maybe) She's afraid that if she goes away for the weekend she'll come home to a burned down/broken in house and a son that has lost his job/flunked an exam because he has overslept. Forgetful kids can be a hard thing to deal with, for sure.
So when is Mom gonna be off duty for bailing out this forgetful kid? Never?
So when is Mom gonna be off duty for bailing out this forgetful kid? Never?
No, they need to work on getting this kid self sufficient.
I'm just saying that it can be harder for some kids to get there than others and parents often have very real concerns for their child's safety in the meantime.
No, they need to work on getting this kid self sufficient.
I'm just saying that it can be harder for some kids to get there than others and parents often have very real concerns for their child's safety in the meantime.
Yah I hear that. You pick which issues you decide to let them fail/screw up first on based that. But to continue to take responsibility for his **** is no service to him.
My sister has done this all her life. She nags and does for the kids to the degree that her 18yo son cannot order his own pizza, make his own lunch. He lost a job because Mom did not remind him he had to work one day.
Forgetful people have tools and strategies for reminding themselves of things. Like calendars, watches, smartphones. Google...
My 21 year old lives his life the way he wants now. No curfew. He is polite and considerate and goes to college. If he was less than polite and considerate we would have a problem.
No, they need to work on getting this kid self sufficient.
I'm just saying that it can be harder for some kids to get there than others and parents often have very real concerns for their child's safety in the meantime.
Do #they# *need* to work on it.
That seems to me to be more of the same.
It seems to me mom needs to work on letting go.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
.
