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It sounds like you're handling things just right, so far! Just keep working on that "sense of entitlement" she's got and keep teaching her how inappropriate it is to "expect" things from people. When she gets out into the bigger pond, she'll realize that she's not always going to be the smartest and prettiest in the crowd. LOL
I've got a grandson who is absolutely, frickin adorable. It's like he's a perfect, porcelain doll, the most incredible smile, gorgeous, golden-brown eyes, double lashes...absolutely a perfect little miniature man. What does he hear...CONSTANTLY? " Oh my GOSH, you are absolutely ADORABLE!" When he does something...wows them with his excellent speech and adult manners and words...."You are SOOOO smart!! and SOOO adorable"...yes, people seem to always want to GIVE him something for his cuteness and brightness. Well, even at 2-1/2, he is developing quite a little sense of expectation and entitlement. Being a parent is NOT easy, nor is being a grandparent sometimes. LOL Sometimes when people "feed his ego", I want to say.."Ya wanna take him when he's in a bad mood?....ya won't think he's so dang cute and smart then, I guarantee it!" LOL
Exactly! I'd love to see if some of those who think she's so precious will still feel the same after dealing with dramatics and whining. Not so cute!
How is this spoiled? Does she throw tantrums when she does not get things she wants? Does she act like Veruca Salt in "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory"? Now, that is a spoiled child.
Oh my goodness, I totally agree with that. MissFR has recently turned four, and we really had no terrible two's or three's. But good grief, drama central, and Bossy with a capital B.
We've had to employ the use of the naughty step, because we feel like we have to nip the pushy behavior in the bud. She's very ego centric at this point - everything is Me Me Me and she's not pleased when she doesn't get her own way.
But it's been surprisingly successful, we give her a warning if she starts foot stomping or other I-want-my-own-way behavior, and if it doesn't stop immediately she goes on the naughty step, which she really hates.
It seems like the mere mention of it is now enough to bring her back down to earth and to at least comply, even if she still doesn't get that she's not the entire center of the universe yet. I think she'll get the message eventually, she's just acting her age, but we won't put up with any princess attitude.
I think you're right to be concerned and to correct it, good for you.
The naughty step is a really good idea. A lot better than sending them to their room full of games and toys. Usually I just ignore her while she is whining, and won't answer her until she speaks normally. She hates being ignored, and it usually gets worse before it gets better. I like the idea of sending her somewhere I don't have to look at her tantrum for a few minutes.
How is this spoiled? Does she throw tantrums when she does not get things she wants? Does she act like Veruca Salt in "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory"? Now, that is a spoiled child.
LOL, it's not that bad, thank goodness! She doesn't throw a full blown, fall to the floor tantrum, just mostly whines and pouts and tells me how mean I am. I just don't want her becoming a Veruca Salt in the future.
The naughty step is a really good idea. A lot better than sending them to their room full of games and toys. Usually I just ignore her while she is whining, and won't answer her until she speaks normally. She hates being ignored, and it usually gets worse before it gets better. I like the idea of sending her somewhere I don't have to look at her tantrum for a few minutes.
I LOVE that you don't pay attention when she's whining. That is something that even my grown kids can remember. "I can't hear you. All I can hear when you talk like that is eeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaawwwwww... eeeeooooohhhh and that makes absolutely no sense to me at all. I'm telling you right now, you don't want it very badly, or you'd be asking me in a normal tone of voice. Now go sit on the couch and think about how you need to talk to me!" We do the same thing to our grandson and the "couch" (with no toys or tv) is his sit and think spot! LOL
I am blown away at the parents who cater to their whining children, because they can't stand to hear them whine. What they don't realize is that they are REINFORCING the whining and bad behavior...rewarding it, by giving in. Like I tell my husband...if he was a dog, and you wanted him to stop barking, would you go give him a treat, or would you tell him to STOP BARKING AND GO LAY DOWN!....then give him a treat for complying? I know kids aren't dogs, hehe...but when they're small, you're using the same type of "reward for good", "intolerance for bad" behaviors.
I was just trying to remember my daughter at four, and what came to mind was the image of her sitting in the recliner in the living room watching TV. She had asked me for orange juice, and I forgot. Next thing I know, she called me, "Mom! Mom!" I came into the room, and there she was sitting like a princess in that big chair, and she said, "Where is that orange juice that I ordered?"
Now she is 19. She just got home from her second year at college where she got A's in Chinese, Russian, Chinese History, and Linguistics, and an A- in Psychology. She is washing the dinner dishes, and she just asked me if I want some ice cream when she's finished.
I was just trying to remember my daughter at four, and what came to mind was the image of her sitting in the recliner in the living room watching TV. She had asked me for orange juice, and I forgot. Next thing I know, she called me, "Mom! Mom!" I came into the room, and there she was sitting like a princess in that big chair, and she said, "Where is that orange juice that I ordered?"
Now she is 19. She just got home from her second year at college where she got A's in Chinese, Russian, Chinese History, and Linguistics, and an A- in Psychology. She is washing the dinner dishes, and she just asked me if I want some ice cream when she's finished.
It will all work out.
That is such a cool story MQ....thanks so much for sharing. Congratulations on your daughters amazing accomplishments!
That is such a cool story MQ....thanks so much for sharing. Congratulations on your daughters amazing accomplishments!
Thanks! Looking back, she was a little snot for a while there...but turned out to be a good person, considerate and thoughtful of others, which was always my main goal.
Why don't you teach her about being generous and giving to other people? Teach her about donating unwanted toys to needy children. If she can write have her write short thank you notes if she gets gifts; if she can't write yet then have her draw a thank you picture or something. If she gets complimented, make sure she says "thank you" and teach her to give a compliment in return.
FWIW, we planned to have 2 kids 2 years apart in age. My son was a preemie & a handful at 1st, & we decided (more me than hubby) 1 was enough when Lucas, son, was 4 1/2 MONTHS old. I was ALREADY preggo w/ our daughter. I was on birth control & we 'did it' ONCE in the time frame of conceiving. Oy! My kids are 12 1/2 mos apart in age. Each was due the same day, 1 year apart, but my son was early.
My girl was petite for the 1st couple years of her life w/ huge gray eyes, & long lashes. People would stop me in the stores to coo over Bella. My FIL & stepMIL fawn over our daughter. As do our FIL's grandparents & relatives. Though, our son, Lucas Neal, is a blood name, so, they go bonkers over that too. MIL, my Mom, & sis, think we 'favor' our daughter, so, they dote on our son. StepFIL is pudding for our girl. But, to be fair, our girl has been manipulating since birth. I say that most females do (I'm female lol) . It's really just too easy. lol &, boy, does my daughter have it down pat. lol
As for being spoiled & not gracious, I freak on my kids about this alot. I don't feel they are as thankful as they should be. Heck, even like me, & I was a BRAT as a child. lol I'm hoping it's the age. Mine are elementary school, so, no idea after that. =P
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I know kids aren't dogs, hehe...but when they're small, you're using the same type of "reward for good", "intolerance for bad" behaviors. 
