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I waited to until MissFR was ready. It was actually a breeze after that. I've posted here before that she had issues with public bathrooms, because of those dreadful loud automatic flushing toilets. Scared the bejezus out of the poor kid when she was really little.
::nodnod::
We had an unfortunate experience with one on an interstate trip-- little miss had to go soooo bad, and wouldn't because of the automatic potty. She screamed fit to be tied over it-- so loudly, in fact, that when we came out of the restaurant bathroom the policeman standing nearby gave me a very long, hard look.
Embarrassment does not begin to describe it.
I've looked at what other parents are going through or allow their kids to do and have to step back many times because I'm just not in their shoes and their child is so different than mine. Kids are just so different - maturity levels, what they have been through, etc. And I've got a pretty easy, mature kid, so to think I would "never" do something if presented with a problem - well, I just can't say.
Does that make sense all? lol!
I'm sure we let our son watch certain things that would make some people's hair curl....I won't even go into the South Park we watched tonight. I just kept shaking my head and saying, "oh my god!". But he takes things with a grain of salt - and yes, he's almost 18 so I'm not going to restrict that stuff at this point, but he's been watching it for a couple of years.
Zim - Completely agree. We can "know" how we'll handle something in theory, but IME, that's a lot different than actually going through it and having to troubleshoot it and see it through to the end.
The one thing that I find really hard to be nonjudgmental about is when people are so judgmental of others without trying to see where they're coming from. Behavior has a context - there are reasons people act and choose as they do - whether or not that behavior is effective. Arg, total pet peeve.
That is the part that gets to me about it too. I think that is why the word "never" bothers me so much. It is usually used in such a judgmental way and those people are usually the ones who will never even try to open their minds to other possibilities.
I forgot to mention my solution to the automatic toilets. DD was terrified of them and I think that her first experience on one of those scared her so bad that it set her back in potty training. Kids are so little that if they shift at all, the toilet thinks that the person stood up and flushes. The one DD was on the first time was so loud and powerful that DD was afraid it was going to suck her down the drain.
After that first experience, if I saw that it was an automatic toilet, I would go in first and either put my hand, or a bandaid, or something else right over the sensor. DD would do her thing and leave the stall, then I would remove whatever was over the sensor. That way DD was out of the way when I finally let it flush. After doing that twice, she wasn't afraid of them any more. After a few months, I let her put the item over the sensor. (She really liked defeating the evil toilet).
I always wished they just had a switch that you could turn it from automatic to push button, but that was never an option. It is a pain to do that every time you are near one of those toilets, but it pays off in the long run.
One thing I am really tired of hearing in this forum is the word "never". I am more of a never say never kind of person, but on this forum I hear "never" so many times every day that it is hard to count. I am sure about a lot of things in life, but I know better than to say words like "never" or "guarantee". I can't guarantee that I will do a favor for you because I can't even guarantee that I will be alive in 5 minutes. I won't say that I will never do something or let my child do something because parenting is so unpredicitble that you don't know what you might do some day.
Things I am tired of hearing (especially from people who haven't had kids yet):
My child will never act up in public
I guarantee I will never use a leash on a child
I will never treat my kids the way my mom treated me (I hear my mom's words coming out of my mouth all of the time)
I would never let my child be xx before he was potty trained
I could never leave my child in a hot car (almost happened to me)
and of course a million others. Any of you have any "nevers" to add? It kind of feels good to get it out.
Sure. I never knew so much about parenting as when I didn't have any.
I'll never use a binky ... sheesh, just figure out what's wrong and fix it.
I'll never call my kids cutesy nicknames ... I'm giving them dignified names for a reason.
STERILIZE EVERYTHING.
LOL - I was never going to use a binky either - and honestly I didn't much because my DD found her fingers instead. That was a nightmare to break the habit. Can't very well take away someone's fingers....DS wouldn't have anything to do with the binky - and just kept fussing. Binkies would have been preferable in either case.
I also was never going to use disposable diapers....then "only at night"; then "only on weekends"...then...well you get the idea...
"Never" was going to let my son play football (too dangerous, might break his neck and die or be paralyzed). He did have to have stitches ("cleated" in baseball) and get a concussion (basketball). Never did get hurt playing football.
My kids would surely be big readers as I love to read and would read to them and instill a love of reading. I did read to them. Lots. Neither one is a big reader.
Yep - I know lots and lots before I became a parent.
That is the part that gets to me about it too. I think that is why the word "never" bothers me so much. It is usually used in such a judgmental way and those people are usually the ones who will never even try to open their minds to other possibilities.
Haha - we all crack me up with how much we knew before having kids!
I have as many opinions as the next girl, perhaps more, but I think being a therapist for so long has really helped me to truly be able to put myself in someone else's shoes (not that that's the only road to empathy, of course). I don't necessarily believe you have to go through something to understand it, but I do believe you have to be able to truly try to see the world from the other person's perspective before spouting off advice and especially judgment. Ok, rant over
And now in the land of needing to take my own advice - I am furious at my most recent (and first-time novice) landlord who is holding our security deposit under false accusation of "damages" so she could update the house (which was in need of paint and carpeting before we moved in). Fortunately, I believe tenant law is on our side. Looks like we'll be taking her to court. Awesome! File under BS I don't need right now.
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