Is it normal for tweens to be embarrassed by their parents? (method, teenager)
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dont take it personally, otherwise youre seriously gonna need a shrink shortly LOL
remember YOU are the parent and while she can be 'embarrassed' all she wants- disrespect is NEVER allowed in my house. Her little comment at the ice rink would have landed my daughter in serious caca ....
The only thing I can think of is that she's complained that I blend in with the kids at the middle school when I come to school functions because I'm short and thin, and look much younger than my age. But, these aren't characteristics I can change. Besides, is being short and thin any worse than being an overweight or obese parent, or a parent that looks older than her age?
I agree with the statements on here about your daughter being disrespectful & rude, but maybe one of the reasons she's so adament about you not being around her & her friends is because one of her male schoolmates, possibly someone she likes, has said something like...'hey, your mom is totally hot', which could be causing this animosity towards you , but not her dad.
I feel for you - my daughter is now 21, but the tween/teen years were really rough at times. We have a great relationship now, we're very close, but those are trying times for sure! Good luck.
Must be a girl thing - my 11 year old son asks his father and I to come all the time. At the last recess I showed up to help out with, the other moms were also moms to boys - and there at their son's request as well.
Personally, I think the church youth group should have separate activities for middle school and high school. If your 11 yr old is doing everything the high school kids are doing now, what's for her to look forward to in 5 yrs? I wouldn't want my 11 yr old child hanging around 11th-12th graders, but that's JMO.
I also wouldn't want my 11 yr old waiting outside for me. With all the abductions going on, I'd want her to wait in the lobby until she saw my car. I would think the church youth leaders wouldn't allow children as young as 11 to leave the building. I was a chaperone many times for my daughter's activities and I felt responsible for all the children assigned to me and kept them in my sight until they were released to their parents. My daughter was use to having me as a chaperone. I never hung around her, but she never ignored me either.
Your daughter's rudeness would never have been acceptable to me. That was total disrespect. I'd be having a heart to heart talk w/ her about the meaning of apathy and empathy for others, especially her mother. Maybe some think this is normal, but I don't. The best way I handle my daughter being disrepectful is letting her know just how hurtful she was to me. She's still young, just shy of 15 but is really trying to control her words. I've told her many times, once those hurtful words are out there, you can't take them back. Sure you can apologize, but you can't erase what you said.
The next time your daughter needs you to take her somewhere, remind her how you embarrass her. I'd start w/ the upcoming school dance. If she is so embarrassed by you or your husband, she doesn't need to be going to this dance. I think 11 is too young for dances anyways, but again that's JMO. Get her more comfortable around you and her friends by having a movie night or slumber party. The dances can wait.
Today I teased her after school. I told her that I was going to chaperone and that I had made a special t-shirt to wear that says: "I'm not a seventh-grader. I'm just short. And I'm Emily's mom!
Turns out I can't chaperone after all b/c my husband has to work late so I have to stay home with her younger sisters. I did let her know that one of us would chaperone the next dance.
I think she feels badly for her comments yesterday and that she knows she hurt my feelings. She actually did some cleaning without being asked and she was on her best behavior.
And, she asked me to do her makeup for the dance and asked my advice about what to wear and what color nail polish to use. I guess that I don't look that hideously embarrassing after all.
do most 11 year old girls at her school wear makeup? Or is this for the dance? I almost choked when I read that.
I don't think that is the norm. My daughter only wore makeup for her dance recitals. The makeup really didn't start until 8th grade for her and her friends.
Yep normal. I also think it is normal that you are taking the brunt of it because you are the mom and she is the daughter. I noticed my son gives my husband a harder time about the embarrassment thing vs me. I agree with others have a talk with her that even though you are a parent, you still have feelings. Teenagers seem to forget this aspect. Sometimes the talk is more effective if the other parent has this conversation. If I see my son giving my husband a hard time, it seems to work out better if I have the talk with my son about it. My son is 14 and our "new" adventure is he confessed he is feeling a bit odd because most of his friends seem to really dislike their parents where although his dad and I get on his nerves, he doesn't feel like he dislikes us. So when all his buddies are complaining how horrible their parents are, he has nothing to contribute. ya...the teenagers years. Joy.
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