Teenagers and Alcohol (mature, friends, adult, kids)
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Your wording of this paragraph is unclear. Are you saying your daughter went to parties where alcohol was served, and you knew in advance that alcohol would be served, and allowed her to attend, and therefore gave her permission to intentionally break the law and risk your daughter getting arrested? (the laws are such that minors are not allowed to be present when alcohol is served in someone else's house. Not that minors aren't allowed to drink. If there's alcohol, and it's open, and people are drinking it, and there is a minor in the room with *access* to the alcohol, then both the minor and the host are breaking the law).
Really it depends. But the end result is - you gave her permission to attend an event out of your own home, where alcohol would be served. And that is illegal. It's illegal for her to attend, and the moment she got there and discovered open liquor, she should've turned around and gone right back home again.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnonChick
It's a possession law. It is illegal for minors to possess alcohol. It doesn't matter if they're drinking it or not. It matters that they're possessing it. As for the restaurant situation - in some states it's illegal for minors to enter a bar. If the family is at a restaurant where there is a seperate bar, the family is not allowed to sit in the bar area. That's whether or not they're being served alcohol. Minors are also not allowed to serve alcohol, even if they're serving it to legal adults. That's why 17-year-olds aren't allowed to be bartenders.
I also don't buy the con job that parents would have a party for 20 kids, provide alcohol for the 18 who are over 21, and expect that the 2 who are 19 won't drink. I also don't believe the 18 kids over 21 are going to care whether or not their 2 underage pals are underage; they'll stick a cup in their hands and welcome them to actively participate. I also don't think the police would buy that con job either. They'd probably assume that the parents would be charged with "intent to distribute" to a minor. Which is - against the law.
You can make excuses however you want, and put pretty pink bows on it. But allowing a minor child to go into a situation where he has the opportunity and the means to intentionally break the law, in an atmosphere of peers who are doing the activity legally, is stupid.
So is it illegal for minors to be at Grannie's when people are drinking or not? I understand that sounds ridiculous, but if the laws are actually written as you are explaining them here, then that would be the case, no?
The law would cover all situations where there's a party, not just a party exclusively for teens amongst their peers. Actually, there doesn't even have to be a party. Does it include family gatherings, outside the home? It sounds as if it would include any home/venue where people over 21 are drinking and have open bottles of alcohol within reach of a minor. Am I misinterpreting something?
I'm not anonchick, but here are Ct.'s laws regarding minors and alcohol. It specifically states various situations and the legality of minors with alcohol. I had a hard time finding links with Ct.'s laws. Parents are allowed to give alcohol to their children, but I didn't see it on this particular link. (you'd think they'd make it easier to find current laws, or maybe I'm just bad with Google?)
(I know it says "powered by Google" but it's a legit link)
Great, thanks. That clears it up. So it isn't illegal for a minor to be on private property where alcohol is being served, or where they might have access to it, or where there might be an open container. It's only illegal for them to posses it (which I'm going to presume means holding a drink in their hot little hands). The exception here is that it is illegal to "host underage drinking parties".
Connecticut Law:
Possession of Alcohol by Minors
Prohibits possession of alcohol by a minor on
both public and private property
If on a public street or highway
If in any other or private location
Prohibits possession by a minor of liquor in a
motor vehicle
Sale or Provision of Alcohol to Minors
Prohibits anyone from allowing minors to
possess alcohol or “host” underage drinking
parties
Prohibits anyone from giving or delivering
liquor to a minor
Thanks again, I was worried about my inlaws being carted off to the clink!
I don't need to HAVE teenagers. I -was- a teenager. The parents' role is to guide their children so they can become productive civilized members of adult society. Part of that is teaching them to obey the law. If you allow them to break the law, then you are teaching them that mom doesn't think the law is worth respecting. And - considering that mom IS the law in her own house -that's a really dangerous slope slide down when you're dealing with teenagers.
You're not their friend, and you're not their therapist. You're their parent. It's your job to set boundaries. It's their job to rebel against them, but by doing so, they learn and understand why those boundaries exist.
I agree with all of the above and that is the stance I have taken with my teens.
Teens don't drink responsibly....they binge drink..they drink to get drunk. Look at the problems of excess drinking on any college campus.
Here in CT, children are educated about alcohol and drugs starting in the elementary school with the DARE program and every grade after thru high school. Yet, kids are experimenting at younger ages.
And, unfortunately drunk driving of all ages is still a huge problem in my area. Teens and adults.
It's a possession law. It is illegal for minors to possess alcohol.
That's NOT what you wrote above, although it is true.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnonChick
It doesn't matter if they're drinking it or not. It matters that they're possessing it. As for the restaurant situation - in some states it's illegal for minors to enter a bar. If the family is at a restaurant where there is a seperate bar, the family is not allowed to sit in the bar area. That's whether or not they're being served alcohol.
That law varies from state to state. In some states minors can sit in the bar area. In others they cannot.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnonChick
Minors are also not allowed to serve alcohol, even if they're serving it to legal adults. That's why 17-year-olds aren't allowed to be bartenders.
In FL (not sure about other states) a person has to be 18 tend bar, not 21.
Minors who work in establishments that sell alcohol can sell/handle alcohol in FL. There is an exception in the statute allowing them to possess alcohol for the purpose of selling or stocking it at their place of employment.
That law varies from state to state. In some states minors can sit in the bar area. In others they cannot.
What's interesting, you replied to anonchick who lives in Ct., and so do I. We sometimes go to a popular local restaurant in Ct. and eat next to the bar with our children, the youngest is 7. I see children eating there all the time, with the bar 10 feet away. Yet my dd who is almost 20 went out to dinner with her boyfriend recently, who is over 21, and because there was a bar at the restaurant they wouldn't even allow her entrance. And they had eaten there just the week before, too. Apparently "bar area" is too loose a definition in regards to the law.
It's a possession law. It is illegal for minors to possess alcohol. It doesn't matter if they're drinking it or not. It matters that they're possessing it. As for the restaurant situation - in some states it's illegal for minors to enter a bar. If the family is at a restaurant where there is a seperate bar, the family is not allowed to sit in the bar area. That's whether or not they're being served alcohol. Minors are also not allowed to serve alcohol, even if they're serving it to legal adults. That's why 17-year-olds aren't allowed to be bartenders.
I also don't buy the con job that parents would have a party for 20 kids, provide alcohol for the 18 who are over 21, and expect that the 2 who are 19 won't drink. I also don't believe the 18 kids over 21 are going to care whether or not their 2 underage pals are underage; they'll stick a cup in their hands and welcome them to actively participate. I also don't think the police would buy that con job either. They'd probably assume that the parents would be charged with "intent to distribute" to a minor. Which is - against the law.
You can make excuses however you want, and put pretty pink bows on it. But allowing a minor child to go into a situation where he has the opportunity and the means to intentionally break the law, in an atmosphere of peers who are doing the activity legally, is stupid.
The majority of these laws are very location specific and not true for all.
You can disagree with my actions but I can say that I have a very good knowledge of my daughter's behavior towards alcohol under my boundaries, she's open about the issue and she's so far respecting where she stands (we don't seem to be facing a contradiction issue).
I can't say where things would be with your forbidden stance...
I don't allow my son to drink alcohol. What he does outside of my presence is where I hope our years of raising him with good judgement and openess to come to us about anything comes into play. I would never offer my underage son a drink inside my home regardless of the occassion. It's against the law to drink underage and just because he's in my home doesn't negate the law in my reasoning. If you start there, where does it end?? Besides, I would never want to the burden of giving him the "taste" of alcohol and then it leads to serious issues with drinking. Not what I signed on as a parent for. Sometimes you have to say no......and that's the end of it.
Blind obedience to the law is certainly not one of the lessons I intend to teach my kids.
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