Do you ever look up and contact people who you have not talked to in years? (driver, free)

[Dingler]

My brother, who is in his late 40s, is always talking about people from his youth. He must of have been happier back then because he seems to dwell on those days. He had a few real close friends from his teenage and college years that he drifted away from many years ago when he relocated.
In the last year he has contacted a number of people he has not talked to in over 20 years and gone to a old High School and College reunion.

The people who he contacted all agreed to get together but were all a disappointment to him. They did not seem like the same people they once were and the chemistry they once shared was gone. It was like getting together with someone you approached on the street.

What was interesting was the lack of nostalgia on the part of the old friends. Most of them said they rarely thought about their youth or had visited their hometowns. They had no memories of the things that my brother and I had thought about with warm memories for years. It was like they never happened.

Do you think much about your days as a teenager or go visit places from the past? Do you ever contact people that you have not talked to in 10-20-30 years?

[BrianH]

Yeah i always do. I think it was because i was young and free at the time or not. I had a few friends which i really connected with. We liked everything the same, music, beer, women, everything. I think its prety rare to find more than one person you connect to like this. Had keys to two of their houses from when i was 16 too. If i wasnt at home, I was at their home or out partying with them. Got on perfect with their family. Even when I left Ireland to go Stateside I called them on the phone all the time and vice versa, one of them even visited my family regularly to catch up with them. I can see why your brother wants to recapture it if he had something similar. Most of my friends though, i could take it or leave it as to meeting them again. People change.

[FL_TN_Nana]

I had an old friend actually visit me a couple of months ago as she and her husband were vacationing in Florida. It had been close to 40 years since I'd seen her. They came to our house one evening and we all went out to dinner another evening. We talked about some of the old stuff and I heard what had happened to several people we had known. She still lives in the same area and knows/remembers more of the people we went to school with than I do! It was nice seeing her & her husband, but it definitely wasn't that "warm and cozy" feeling you might expect from your childhood or teen years. We all grow and change and one thing replaces another in our lives.

[mainebrokerman]

this reminds me of the movie,,think it was called "stand by me" where the kids find a dead body,,
the narrator,, said it best,,,at the end,,when we are young,,,,,around 12-14 yrs old,,even up to 18,,we form very close relationships,,,with a chemistry all its own,,almost like you can read the other persons mind,,,,,but then after high school,,most split up,,go separate ways,,,,,,and even when we bump into old friends,,the old chemistry is lost,

[Mrs.Bewitched]

I have thought about it, and have tried to google...with no results. I would love to go to a reunion of sorts.......try to get a reunion of just the old "gang"...but then I think, why? Are we really going to stay in touch?

[Racelady88]

I have recently reconnected with 3 of my 4 best friends from jr. high/high school. Only one of them has not changed so much that the chemistry has gone away. I have not been back to my hometown in 20+ years. There is nothing there for me anymore.

[jco]

I recently saw a high school boyfriend at the grocery store. He was a very attractive guy when we dated and we shared what I thought was a strong bond. We parted ways when he entered a world of drug abuse. I think it was nine years since I'd last seen him, and well, nine years of meth abuse completely changes a person. It was really shocking to me that we had nothing connecting us any longer.

I think I'd rather have never seen him again. It would have been better to remember him the way he was nine years ago before we parted ways.

[Cosmic]

And unlike most of the others, most of the results were super.

A few of them, it was like we had just talked yesterday. That warm and cozy feelings were there. One recent trip, took a detour, when to see the guy who sat directly behind me in the senior year class in High School. Had not seen this guy since I was like 18 years old.

Duh, I find him out in the garage at his house. Looks a tad older, really in super great shape, great guy, I had not told him I was coming. We got to eyeball each other for a while. I know who he is. He can not place me at first. Bingo, like the years had never happened. He is running a business out of his garage, I am cutting into his working day. Talked for like 3 hours. Nope, they knew all the old stories and remembered events as it was. Great time.

I have met a lot of the others at a lunch the year before. Same deal, everybody very friendly. Out of all those peeps, many success stories. Doctors, lawyers, millionaires, college prof's, on and on. I found nobody who wound up in prison or jail. Most had a very good life. Lots with very good military careers. Your best bud's were very warm and fuzzy, some of them will be on my bud list and I am sure we will do things again in the future.

The one thing that does not change is their voice. I served in the Army in Engand, maybe about 1000 guys total. They put together an organization of those vets. Have reunions, news letter, etc. The big deal was many wanted to go back to England and crawl through their former glory days, old haunts, etc. Many had married English girls and I always thought that was a big driver, momma wanted to finally go home again.

But as mentioned you have this mental image of those days. Some of your most fond maybe. What will happen if things are changed dramatically, will it be a huge let down. I actually passed on the trip because of I could never go out of MA any more without a million armed guards watching my house and because I really did not want to destroy the memories.

Yup, they go and I think there was a bit of a let down. Many of the haunts were gone, environment totally changed. Tommy Wolfe had it right, you can't go home again. I had met many of those folks by one means or the other, gone to a few mini-reunions, talked to all the really super buds from those days on the phone. Their voices is what gets you. So much like that Jackson Browne song - All Good Things. But I want you to remember our wild deeds live on Got to go see one special bud down in AL one of these days. Hey, all the stories are there and maybe a bit taller with time.

But they did get a lot from the organization. Many probably tried to tell various stories and probably had their share of doubters. They put together a huge collection of photos, I had a ton of stuff, being the super pack rat. The funny thing at some of the reunions they brought wives, family,etc and as the stories got spun the eyebrows really went up, the stories were a lot wilder than daddy ever let on.

Same thing with the submarines I served on in the Navy. Those now have organizations and most boats have a website. Was able to track down and talk with the peeps that mattered. Found my #2, things had turned out well. Lots of former ship mates roaming the hills in Idaho.

The couple of general impressions that came out, of all the peeps you knew back when a number are missing. ~15% at least. The World has been cruel, auto accidents, drugs, jealous spouse, the grime reaper does not always wait.

Females claim they are the superior sex. Well not quite, they suffer a lot more from Olde Man Time. Some of the guys should bottle whatever secret they got. Especially those with a lot of military service, many looked super. Only a couple of the females really looked super fab. Two in particular, one a relative, Wow, how many kids, she looked better than the kids.

There were others, I tracked down and things had gotten a bit off track, one in particular, he missed marrying the love of his life (a girl in my class, he was a tad older, everybody just knew they would eventually get married back then), thru a bit of a freak event. Probably bugged him all his life. Another also had a bit of a wild mess up. But somehow no matter what happened you never can judge them very harsh.

One of those things in your life, cannot know how it might work out until you try it. Today with the Web there are many organizations that make it far easier to keep in touch. Some of my old buds, I have not run down but do have occassional contact. One gets an email / address boom you are back in the Old Boy system. So far no bad experience from getting in contact with any of them. Most are super peeps with very good functional lives. May not need C-D to have a real life, some don't even have computers.

[mainebrokerman]

im surprised the reality tv folks havent created a show called "first love"

re-uniting first loves/past fiance's that havent seen each other for years.

sounds corny, and many would run from this concept,,not to disrupt,,thier present lives,,however,,i do believe if it were tactfully done,,it could work


many of us, remember our "firsts" , and hold in a very special place, and time,,

[ellie]

I never kept in touch with my friends from high school, didn't like many of them to begin with. Felt like the people I got to know in the later days of college were my real friends, as if we'd all come together because we never fit in where we came from. Sort of like the island of the misfit toys. I'm still in touch with most of them to this day and see several of them on a regular basis. We're all pretty much the same, just older and weirder than ever.