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I recently found an old friend that I had not seen since 1977. I actually found her through her brother's obituary, and found out she had moved to Miami. Last month she came to TN and stayed with me for three nights. I could still see SOME of that teenage face in her older face. We reconnected without much strain. It was good to see her.
im surprised the reality tv folks havent created a show called "first love"
re-uniting first loves/past fiance's that havent seen each other for years.
sounds corny, and many would run from this concept,,not to disrupt,,thier present lives,,however,,i do believe if it were tactfully done,,it could work
many of us, remember our "firsts" , and hold in a very special place, and time,,
Somewhere that has already been tried. In today's lawyer happy World it might be very charged with liability. Even if you got the principle parties to sign something, it could still get out of control.
The old adage let sleeping dogs lie. Emotions could also get out of control. If anybody could do it, maybe Jerry Springer but even he has had a few bad blowouts with his format.
Digging up the past always has risk and a few of the posts point in that direction. To go into areas as sensitive as former lovers might be like hauling oxygen, nitro, gasoline, TNT and fusing caps in the same truck on a bumpy road.
The downside is you probably have to pay the principles a ton of money which is exactly counter to what is normally done. 60 minutes is the huge success it is because essentially all the peeps in the hotseat are unpaid actors. Books something like 12 million a week net.
Also keep in mind by definition the principles are going to be the unsuccessful participants in a game that society only values winners. Peeps will do anything for their 15 seconds of fame but somebody may go postal afterwards. Especially the SO and all the tribe associated with both team. Present day problems may very easily get reflected back into the mix.
The better format is probably where they have some babe trying to figure out which of 3 or 4 guys is available, gay, married, etc. Boy does that point to inability of peeps to read each other in a social setting where the rules allow a bit of deception. Very safe fomat for the Producer tho.
I've kept in touch with people here and there throughout my life from high school, or my first job, etc. Except for those people who are still dear friends, I have no desire to contact anyone else. If I had wanted to keep in touch with them, it would have happened.
As for the "First Love" idea - not for me, thank you! I can think of nothing more awkward than that. I can't even imagine how you'd make it funny - unless both people are at opposite ends of the spectrum (the unemployed vs. the corporate V.P.?) in some way.
Yes through www.classmates.com - it was something I swore I would never do particulary since I went to school overseas - as it turns out a lot of my senior class is right here in Florida!!
About two years ago I got a call from my very first boyfriend - oh and we were so in love. Here is the kicker - we both met when we lived in Bangladesh. Our fathers were transferred - he went to Bangkok and I went to Pakistan. Two years later, by accident, we bumped into each other on the street in Bangkok. I was on my way to Taiwan for the next two years. We lost touch until 30 some years later when he found my brother on www.zabasearch.com. He lives in Hawaii and here I am in Florida. We stay in touch now. :-)
Trying to use old lovers in TV programming and the perils
One of the things peeps will say about reunions and those type get togethers is different peeps will remember events different. In fact there are a number of jokes centered around that type spoof. Like this joke. How will people remember the event in later years. This is an old standard joke by the way, but based on a true story.
This undergraduate was very attracted to a charming and delightful woman in one of his classes. She was bright, witty, good looking, and very friendly. She also was in a wheelchair because she'd lost both legs in an accident. This proved to be no real barrier, however; this was one formidable woman whether she had legs or not.
The young man asked her out on a date and she accepted.They had a wonderful evening together, and they were most attracted to one another. When he brought her home, one thing led to an other in the seat of the car, but she stopped him just at a crucial moment and said, "Wait, I've got an idea that will make it better for both of us. See that elm tree over there? Let me hang from that lower branch while we do it."He was amazed not only at her upper body strength, but also at how good the sex was.
Afterward, he brought her wheelchair over and gently took her down and wheeled her up to the house. As he was preparing to go, however, he saw her father standing on the porch."Young man, I want you to know that I saw everything you did with my daughter." "You did?" "Yes. And, I want to thank you." "You do?" "Yes. Every other guy she's brought home has left her hanging in the tree."
Now that is supposed to be a true story, actually it was not a tree but a clothes line in the basement. And the father caught him as he was coming out of the walk in the back to get in his car. And not only did he put her back in the chair but tucked a blanket around her. A pretty considerate guy. Actually one of my old Army Buds and he told me this story only a few years after it happened.
How do you figure a story like this might be remembered today?
I found a lot of my navy buds online. Quite a few of us in the Special Boat Units. Patrol boats have small crews and tend to be very close by definition. The navy was more than happy to tell us how expendable we were back in the 70's and 80's.
Most of us have spent 20+ years in service, because we were proud of what we were and where we served. An amazing thing. With some of us, it seems like only yesterday.
Location: Finally made it to Florida and lovin' every minute!
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I've always had great luck with that.
On 9/11, I tried reaching one of my best friends from high school who had moved to NYC (there were 3 of us, and we were inseparable). I did manage to reach the other friend who was in Boston. She gave me Clary's number and I did manage to connect that afternoon. The 3 of us decided it was time to get together again, so we managed a fall weekend in Saratoga Springs at a B&B. Had a great time - it was like we'd never been apart, even tho it was almost 30 years since high school.
Next month, I'm going down to FL to close up our house for the summer and my oldest friend (since we were 4 years old) will be coming up for part of the week. We've never spent that length of time together, but I'm sure it'll be terrific.
Yes through www.classmates.com - it was something I swore I would never do particulary since I went to school overseas - as it turns out a lot of my senior class is right here in Florida!!
About two years ago I got a call from my very first boyfriend - oh and we were so in love. Here is the kicker - we both met when we lived in Bangladesh. Our fathers were transferred - he went to Bangkok and I went to Pakistan. Two years later, by accident, we bumped into each other on the street in Bangkok. I was on my way to Taiwan for the next two years. We lost touch until 30 some years later when he found my brother on www.zabasearch.com. He lives in Hawaii and here I am in Florida. We stay in touch now. :-)
Jhlcomp, I use Classmates.com and have had mixed results. I think one of the problems is members change email addresses and Classmates doesn't get updated. I've had a few pleasant experiences. Some, I'm sure feel that they've gone different directions...and life's like that. Not sure about contacting old girlfriends; have reconnected with one she and hubby are both in law enforcement... ) One day I'd like my wife to meet them. Other ex's haven't responded and that's fine... like others above, sometimes you can't go home again. Some of my military friends I keep in regular contacts with, some infrequently. And some not at all. But that's fine.
I've kept in touch with people here and there throughout my life from high school, or my first job, etc. Except for those people who are still dear friends, I have no desire to contact anyone else. If I had wanted to keep in touch with them, it would have happened.
As for the "First Love" idea - not for me, thank you! I can think of nothing more awkward than that. I can't even imagine how you'd make it funny - unless both people are at opposite ends of the spectrum (the unemployed vs. the corporate V.P.?) in some way.
Situations that are awkward are not all bad. It is how you do a sort of self test. Can you handle the unpleasant events in life? Do you turn inward and go into a protective shell or can you tough it out and understand it from the other perspective?
I actually had one of these relating to a reunion type deal. At one of these, some peeps where missing but I knew they were still living in the general area. One guy was like a brother when I was growing up. Great athlete, wonderful personality. Had some good bros, I knew the woman he eventually married quite well, neither are at this event.
So I ask, mentioning his name, peeps around the table, quit talking, some look away, strange reaction.
Little time goes by, I mention him again, same reactions, some peeps move away, finally toward the end, everybody disappears, this one guy comes over grinning like a cat, sezs, you really don't know about him, nope what can this be all about?
Then he proceeds to tell the entire sordid tale of what happened, what he had done. Pretty repugnant, for me, lot of shock, wow, this dude should actually be in prison. He had even finished with speculation about his AIDs status and of his wife's. I run it by my sister later, nope she did not know either. I sort of decide, can't handle it, I never want to see him again, just can't believe this has happened to a guy like him.
About a year goes by, I am home and get a phone call, OMG it is him and he is in town to pick up another guy from that area, who works in my town, commutes back and forth, his car broke down and the dude is here to help him out. Whoa, what to do now? So I say come over, ah chit.
They show up, ain't seen either in years. I really can't bring myself to shake his hand. I am looking for the horns over his ears. We talk, give him a tour of the house, talk about what I am doing. Same old guy underneath, same mannerisms, same lil smile and laugh, I never bring up the banned subject, don't mention any of his family. Talk about mixed emotions. One of my most all time favorite peeps.
More time goes by. I see him again, this time I can not reject him. Actually greet him with a hug. He has gained a lot of weight in a short period, not looking as good. I decide can't do anything about it, treat him like the old days. Maybe even go play a lil golf together.
It goes to another subject, I do not relate well to many women over a certain age. And it is always wonder why and I suspect the answer is they have had too many bad things happen, burnt in some manner, too many negative things and they somehow internalize it all. At a certain age, they start to spin off a lot of negative vibes. They get into a negative spiral where the circle of peeps they can effective deal with shrinks. You mentioned that other word cynical before, think that can happen.
Then if you take the concept of Life as a Journey how do you personally wrap those experiences within some framework? If you apply labels and view past events as predictive of the future then more bad things do happen. In these situations where you meet somebody that you haven't seen for a long time and things are not as expected, can you deal with it positive. Can you be the one that generates, the smiles, the warm and fuzzy, make it all like the old days. Peeps do change but maybe that is not the only explanation why the same feelings are not generated.
In so many situations the only solution is too shrug and forgive. Never internalize life's negatives, bad events or rough patches. No good can come of it longer term. Even the very small petty stuff, just adopt an attitude of let it go. I think you do see it around C-D, way too many peeps, especially women carp about small petty stuff. Never internalize any of it.
Things may appear to be awkward but you can get thru it. Lots of things appear to be separate rambling situations but they all fit into a type of framework.
I keep in touch with a select few whom I grew up with. But I did make the *mistake* of getting in touch with an old best friend once. We were inseparable in junior high, but she had a lot of problems and was a runaway and my parents put a stop to the two of us hanging out together. Years later when I was in my 20's and married to my first husband I decided to try to find her. She had an unusual last name so I called relatives of hers with that last name in the area we used to live in and found out where she was. The ex-hubby and I drove down to where she was living (with some ax murderer type guy! ). She obviously had a hard life and her life was in shambles at that time as well. One day she showed up on my doorstep - with all her worldly possessions (a couple of brown paper bags with some clothes in them). I didn't have the heart to turn her away. She basically moved in with us and stayed for a while. She was a total alcoholic and drug user and did nothing to find employment. She had people in our home during the day while we were at work and she trashed our house. It was a really hard thing to do, because I don't like to be the "bad guy", but I had to kick her out of our house. She really didn't have anywhere else to go, but then again, she made her own life choices.
So, no. I wouldn't go out of my way to meet anymore people from my past! And especially not ex-boyfriends or old loves. There is a reason why they are the "exes"!!!
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I think it actually has been tried
) One day I'd like my wife to meet them. Other ex's haven't responded and that's fine... like others above, sometimes you can't go home again. Some of my military friends I keep in regular contacts with, some infrequently. And some not at all. But that's fine.
). She obviously had a hard life and her life was in shambles at that time as well. One day she showed up on my doorstep - with all her worldly possessions (a couple of brown paper bags with some clothes in them). I didn't have the heart to turn her away. She basically moved in with us and stayed for a while. She was a total alcoholic and drug user and did nothing to find employment. She had people in our home during the day while we were at work and she trashed our house. It was a really hard thing to do, because I don't like to be the "bad guy", but I had to kick her out of our house. She really didn't have anywhere else to go, but then again, she made her own life choices.
