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I'm disappointed, though, that Zoisite didn't have the decency to come back to acknowledge his/her completely erroneous post (#38) where he/she falsely stated the OP is a bully and unfairly questioned my character.
If you were a flopping, vomiting drunk, then I'd have to agree with him, but as you say, you only have a few drinks and don't throw up. I find it very strange that what you call a GOOD??? friend would refuse to give you a ride home. I'd rethink this friendship OP.
I'd drive for hours through the night in a snow storm to pick up one of my friends if they didn't have a way to get home, sober or drunk. If drunk, I'd ask them to let me know RIGHT AWAY if I need to pull over for them to puke.
I know my friends would do the same for me. That's what GOOD friends do. We take care of each other.
If I were you, I'd take a taxi but I'd certainly make this friend aware that you aren't impressed with his decision not to help a friend out.
Thank you for being one of the few people that agreed with me, but he is coming to pick me up now anyway. He explained that his initial reason for declining was that he was afraid people at the bar would repeatedly buy me drinks due to it being my birthday, and that, in combination with the greasy bar food, would make me throw up. Still a little quirky, but I guess understandable in his eyes.
Birthday, big deal. Short trips cost like $6-7.00 with Uber. No reason to expect friends to enable your careless behavior. Such entitlement from drinkers, unreal.
That's it, exactly. Why would you expect someone who doesn't drink, to be willing to be an enabler of your alcoholism? You're lucky he's coming to your party, at all.
I didn't read all posts. But OP your 1-27 shows the guy is immature maybe even you would consider him qwerty? He may, just may have a form of autism, or as was called in the past Asperger's, but now called autism spectrum disorder. Sometimes they have strong dislikes and trouble in social situations. He may want to attend your birthday but afraid to commit to staying as long as you may need him to bring you home and needs to be able to leave early if it too much or feels uncomfortable. Telling you no he is just answering your question and may not understand that a simple explanation as to why not just didn't occur to him to be the social acceptable thing to do. Watch the show "The Good Doctor" but with a grain of salt. That is on the more extreme end of spectrum. Most who are on the spectrum people wouldn't recognize except they are "qwerky", a little different, a bit socially akward and sometimes honest to a fault, White lies are difficult.
My son has "Asperger's" so do a lot of his (both make and female) friends. They are all in their late 20's and play Dungeon and Dragons.
Oh, and by the way. I had someone get sick in my car once. Very difficult to clean. Even when I thought I got it all on some really hit days with car closed up for a few I would still get a slight odor. Maybe it happened to his car before. And if he is on "the spectrum" some are very sensitive to smells, sounds and lights, most all senses really.
Oh, Happy Birthday!!!!!
Last edited by Izzie1213; 01-30-2019 at 11:38 PM..
Do you really want to make a list of cons about him now?
This was supposed to be a fun night with friends, and you already knew all this ^^^^ about him before you tried to ask him this favor.
Now you're out there rallying your other friends against him. Just forget it and move on.
All the OP is doing is making the situation worse by sharing the neighbors text message.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ron61
Who knows what the REAL reason is for not wanting to be your DD. I wouldn’t do it either, but that’s because I can’t stand being around drunk people and there are always drunk people at any bar. No thanks. I wouldn’t get worked up about it either. You asked-they declined. Find another way.
I don't drink but enjoy socializing with friends at a bar from time to time. But I wouldn't want to be a DD either. I want to leave when I want. I don't want someone saying, "Come on, it`s only xxx. Let`s stay awhile longer."
She didn't ask a random stranger, she asked one of her long-time friends who is going to the same party! Most friends might carpool to such an event anyway... let alone on the OP's birthday.
I thought that being a designated driver is a choice one makes not something you can be coerced into doing.
Perhaps there is more to this story. I am thinking the OP might plan on having only 2 or 3 drinks but because it is their birthday tends to get a little out of control, the neighbor / friend knows this and wants to part of it including not letting the friend get sick in the car. Or the neighbor simply wants to go out for a bit and knows the evening will drag on way longer than they want and they want the option to leave when they choose.
They are not obligated to being their chauffeur for the evening and certainly do not have to pay the Uber bill if they decline.
Guess what everybody? He's picking me up! He texted me this afternoon apologizing for his rudeness the other day and said he'd be more than happy to pick me up, so that's what we're doing. I don't care what you all think, that's what the arrangements are.
Yup, I sure did! And I am NOT ashamed. I left the situation alone as you all advised me, but he changed his mind out of his own volition. If you guys still have a problem with that, then there's nothing else I have to say. I'm sorry if I offended anyone, but that's the way the situation is. You all were much ruder to me than I was to you.
I see you're doubling down on your self-entitlement. You post on here about this problem, then we're all rude that we don't agree with your point of view. That's not how it works.
Just because the guy had a change of heart doesn't make you right in this situation. Personally, if I declined to drive someone and that person was self-centered enough to expect me to pay for his Uber, I'd tell him to jump in the lake.
If he knew he was mocked and bashed behind his back, this would have a different outcome. Likley the same people he is meeting up at this party were among those doing the mocking too. What a horrible thing to do... the butt of all the jokes and insults and doesn't even know it while pretending to be his friend. It's disgusting.
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