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In 1999 I was widowed but have remained close with my late husband’s daughter. Over the years I remarried and moved away. So my contact with my late husband’s daughter (who I still refer to as my stepdaughter) is infrequent but always pleasant. She married a man with a 4 year old son (in 1998) and raised him as her own. He’s been a good guy and a great older brother to the 2 other children my stepdaughter had.
Its time for his wedding; I won’t attend because I don’t live near them. However, when he graduated from college last year I sent him $200 which he never acknowledged. My stepdaughter actually inquired a few times if I’d heard from “Kevin” because she apparently stayed on top of things like thank you’s when the kids were under her wing. When I told her that I’d not heard (she always initiated the inquiry, I never brought it up) she’d say “oh no, I’m sorry....I hope he’ll get to it soon.”
Sooo........I’m pondering if I will send a wedding gift. Would you?
Did you actually receive an invitation to the wedding or just "know about it"?
Personally, I would not send a gift. Normally I do not send wedding gifts unless I attend the wedding or I am quite close to the bride or groom and can't attend due to illness or distance.
No acknowledgement is enough of a reason not to get burned a second time. I'm also not inclined to give gifts to people I don't have any sort of relationship with.
If I'm giving a gift, it's because I care about the recipient. To me, their lack of writing a thank you note doesn't change how I feel about them.
It's unfortunate, but note writing of any sort (including thank you notes) has gone by the wayside. I've stopped expecting them. (And to be honest, I'd prefer they pick up the phone to thank me or thank me in person. I don't need something coming through the mail.)
In 1999 I was widowed but have remained close with my late husband’s daughter. Over the years I remarried and moved away. So my contact with my late husband’s daughter (who I still refer to as my stepdaughter) is infrequent but always pleasant. She married a man with a 4 year old son (in 1998) and raised him as her own. He’s been a good guy and a great older brother to the 2 other children my stepdaughter had.
Its time for his wedding; I won’t attend because I don’t live near them. However, when he graduated from college last year I sent him $200 which he never acknowledged. My stepdaughter actually inquired a few times if I’d heard from “Kevin” because she apparently stayed on top of things like thank you’s when the kids were under her wing. When I told her that I’d not heard (she always initiated the inquiry, I never brought it up) she’d say “oh no, I’m sorry....I hope he’ll get to it soon.”
Sooo........I’m pondering if I will send a wedding gift. Would you?
A college graduate shouldn't have to pestered by their mother to say "thank you".
You were very generous with the graduation gift, that was enough.
If I'm giving a gift, it's because I care about the recipient. To me, their lack of writing a thank you note doesn't change how I feel about them.
It's unfortunate, but note writing of any sort (including thank you notes) has gone by the wayside. I've stopped expecting them. (And to be honest, I'd prefer they pick up the phone to thank me or thank me in person. I don't need something coming through the mail.)
How hard is it to fire off an email? Or a batch of emails, to birthday or wedding donors? That would be better than nothing.
How hard is it to fire off an email? Or a batch of emails, to birthday or wedding donors? That would be better than nothing.
I would be grateful for ANYTHING, phone call, email, FB message, text, or real note. I just got one from my grandkid complete with a drawing and "I love you." It's on my fridge now.
If I hadn't received any acknowledgment of the graduation gift, and had no contact with the person, I might send a card for the wedding. That's it.
How hard is it to fire off an email? Or a batch of emails, to birthday or wedding donors? That would be better than nothing.
Donor is an interesting choice of words. I don't consider myself a "donor" when I'm giving a gift.
It's not hard to fire off an email. Doesn't change that it's gone by the wayside and I've stopped expecting. By doing so, I save myself disappointment. YMMV
A college graduate shouldn't have to pestered by their mother to say "thank you".
You were very generous with the graduation gift, that was enough.
Were you even invited to the wedding?
I received a “save the date” card in the mail, sent from bride to be.
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