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Old 03-24-2018, 11:16 AM
 
Location: 89052 & 75206
8,191 posts, read 8,419,799 times
Reputation: 20219

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In 1999 I was widowed but have remained close with my late husband’s daughter. Over the years I remarried and moved away. So my contact with my late husband’s daughter (who I still refer to as my stepdaughter) is infrequent but always pleasant. She married a man with a 4 year old son (in 1998) and raised him as her own. He’s been a good guy and a great older brother to the 2 other children my stepdaughter had.

Its time for his wedding; I won’t attend because I don’t live near them. However, when he graduated from college last year I sent him $200 which he never acknowledged. My stepdaughter actually inquired a few times if I’d heard from “Kevin” because she apparently stayed on top of things like thank you’s when the kids were under her wing. When I told her that I’d not heard (she always initiated the inquiry, I never brought it up) she’d say “oh no, I’m sorry....I hope he’ll get to it soon.”


Sooo........I’m pondering if I will send a wedding gift. Would you?
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Old 03-24-2018, 11:26 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,480 posts, read 25,260,296 times
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Did you actually receive an invitation to the wedding or just "know about it"?

Personally, I would not send a gift. Normally I do not send wedding gifts unless I attend the wedding or I am quite close to the bride or groom and can't attend due to illness or distance.
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Old 03-24-2018, 11:29 AM
 
Location: Canada
11,830 posts, read 12,093,275 times
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I would not.

No acknowledgement is enough of a reason not to get burned a second time. I'm also not inclined to give gifts to people I don't have any sort of relationship with.
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Old 03-24-2018, 11:34 AM
 
16,443 posts, read 12,611,323 times
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If I'm giving a gift, it's because I care about the recipient. To me, their lack of writing a thank you note doesn't change how I feel about them.

It's unfortunate, but note writing of any sort (including thank you notes) has gone by the wayside. I've stopped expecting them. (And to be honest, I'd prefer they pick up the phone to thank me or thank me in person. I don't need something coming through the mail.)
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Old 03-24-2018, 11:45 AM
 
17,815 posts, read 25,709,494 times
Reputation: 36278
Quote:
Originally Posted by WorldKlas View Post
In 1999 I was widowed but have remained close with my late husband’s daughter. Over the years I remarried and moved away. So my contact with my late husband’s daughter (who I still refer to as my stepdaughter) is infrequent but always pleasant. She married a man with a 4 year old son (in 1998) and raised him as her own. He’s been a good guy and a great older brother to the 2 other children my stepdaughter had.

Its time for his wedding; I won’t attend because I don’t live near them. However, when he graduated from college last year I sent him $200 which he never acknowledged. My stepdaughter actually inquired a few times if I’d heard from “Kevin” because she apparently stayed on top of things like thank you’s when the kids were under her wing. When I told her that I’d not heard (she always initiated the inquiry, I never brought it up) she’d say “oh no, I’m sorry....I hope he’ll get to it soon.”


Sooo........I’m pondering if I will send a wedding gift. Would you?
A college graduate shouldn't have to pestered by their mother to say "thank you".

You were very generous with the graduation gift, that was enough.

Were you even invited to the wedding?
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Old 03-24-2018, 11:48 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,311 posts, read 108,476,230 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hertfordshire View Post
If I'm giving a gift, it's because I care about the recipient. To me, their lack of writing a thank you note doesn't change how I feel about them.

It's unfortunate, but note writing of any sort (including thank you notes) has gone by the wayside. I've stopped expecting them. (And to be honest, I'd prefer they pick up the phone to thank me or thank me in person. I don't need something coming through the mail.)
How hard is it to fire off an email? Or a batch of emails, to birthday or wedding donors? That would be better than nothing.
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Old 03-24-2018, 11:52 AM
 
Location: northern New England
5,470 posts, read 4,102,138 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
How hard is it to fire off an email? Or a batch of emails, to birthday or wedding donors? That would be better than nothing.
I would be grateful for ANYTHING, phone call, email, FB message, text, or real note. I just got one from my grandkid complete with a drawing and "I love you." It's on my fridge now.

If I hadn't received any acknowledgment of the graduation gift, and had no contact with the person, I might send a card for the wedding. That's it.
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Old 03-24-2018, 11:56 AM
 
Location: Canada
14,735 posts, read 15,170,504 times
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I wouldn't send a wedding gift. Maybe a card of congratulations to the wedding couple, but that is all.


.
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Old 03-24-2018, 12:06 PM
 
16,443 posts, read 12,611,323 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
How hard is it to fire off an email? Or a batch of emails, to birthday or wedding donors? That would be better than nothing.
Donor is an interesting choice of words. I don't consider myself a "donor" when I'm giving a gift.

It's not hard to fire off an email. Doesn't change that it's gone by the wayside and I've stopped expecting. By doing so, I save myself disappointment. YMMV
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Old 03-24-2018, 12:09 PM
 
Location: 89052 & 75206
8,191 posts, read 8,419,799 times
Reputation: 20219
Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin View Post
A college graduate shouldn't have to pestered by their mother to say "thank you".

You were very generous with the graduation gift, that was enough.

Were you even invited to the wedding?
I received a “save the date” card in the mail, sent from bride to be.
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