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Who allows themselves to be bullied as an adult? I didn't think it was possible.
I had a male boss who tried it back in 2005 and would always walk in my office and asked me this like he was my dad....."what you working on?" I finally got fed up one day and stood up looked him in the eyes and said..."I;m not working on SH**"
You can stand up the them and maybe end up with it going toe to toe and both getting beat up on. OR you can go the internet way and find ways to deal with them. It is written in books also how to deal with a bully if you want.
My bully was the departments assistant manager, I was not her only target many others fell foul of her attitude. She once told a co-worker who had recently lost her husband of 35 years to cancer that what happened outside of work wasn't important and that she had to 'deal with it', compassion is an unknown to this one.
For myself she was constantly on my back, telling me I was useless or even once laughing at me because I didn't know how to do something (she also NEVER spends the time to show people how to do their jobs, its a form of control as then she knows something they dont). I complained to my manager, who turned out to be spineless and wouldn't stand up to this woman, I talked to HR who told me to keep notes, I even talked to my regional manager who announced that she likes the woman because shes strong.
I ended up sick from the stress, I lost 40lbs in weight and had a TIA, went back to work and immediately got ragged on by this woman so I quit. When it came to unemployment I was of course denied so I appealed it an won !
This woman is still working for the same company, shes toxic and has everyone around her right where she wants them. If anything is said she immediately plays the race card claiming shes being picked on because shes latina. Shes actually from Arizona and at 50+ years old still can't speak or write English without the aid of a dictionary.
Walking away isnt always an option, complaining sometimes falls on deaf ears, the best I can advise is to keep track by writing everything down as and when it happens, time, date, location and exactly whats said. If nothing else knowing that you are in the right vindicates you.
I went on to find a great job working in medical reception/billing and coding which paid much much better and no more retail hours, no weekends and with a smile on my face I would rub that in each and every time I was anywhere in earshot of that bi*#!, I was afterall ... now a customer and The Customer is ALWAYS right .... right ?
I would think bullying or being bullied as an adult is not very common. I can't remember the last time someone tried to bully me but I think it was college.. perhaps a few years after college but I simply don't remember.
I think my older sister could be a bully but I simply don't live near her. I can't imagine how a child or step child could bully an adult parent, that is simply inconceivable. I guess I could see something like this happening at work but geez, go to HR. But let the person know that if they continue to bully, your going to HR. Don't play games with them.
There are subtle ways of bullying as an adult, imo.
Little put downs, thoughtless comments over and over
...."Gee your voicemail message gets old.."
Why do u always order that but never finish it?~
...you know it's so fattening?"
"LOL, you're so paranoid or weak " or whatever judgment they lay one you.
(The "You sentences"...)
It's a form of spewing out thoughts that they think are so very important to express...
that only degrade, instilling low esteem or lack of confidence making them look
superior or in the teacher, wiser roll.
And these can come from people that are actually quite nice on
the other hand.
So how to deal with that?
I hang with them as little as possible and feel sorry for their obvious lack
of pleasant socializing.
I would think bullying or being bullied as an adult is not very common. I can't remember the last time someone tried to bully me but I think it was college.. perhaps a few years after college but I simply don't remember.
I think my older sister could be a bully but I simply don't live near her. I can't imagine how a child or step child could bully an adult parent, that is simply inconceivable. I guess I could see something like this happening at work but geez, go to HR. But let the person know that if they continue to bully, your going to HR. Don't play games with them.
With out getting too political yest I watched a little of CSPAN- I try to keep up here n there and they were talking about immigration reform... well the point being it was about women, and if the military could NOt protect the females who serve, what about the poor field workers- Now do you classify sexual harrasment, rape etc with bullying-? I do- in the worst possble way, and I BET it started as general bullying. This also pertains to males, so don't think I am not aware men get picked on as well- and in school we give it another name...HAZING...the newscast was re: women. I think if I ever saw it one on one I'd be all over whomever. I did write CNN once and asked that they do a study on bullys and identify who these people are.
I would think bullying or being bullied as an adult is not very common. I can't remember the last time someone tried to bully me but I think it was college.. perhaps a few years after college but I simply don't remember.
I think my older sister could be a bully but I simply don't live near her. I can't imagine how a child or step child could bully an adult parent, that is simply inconceivable. I guess I could see something like this happening at work but geez, go to HR. But let the person know that if they continue to bully, your going to HR. Don't play games with them.
It's not common, anyone getting bullied as an adult has to be slow.
How do you deal with a bully as an adult. I have a few - step child, coworker, sibling? Other than complete avoidance, how do you keep such an individual from bullying or attempting to bully you?
Same way you do when you're a kid. STAND UP TO THEM. Don't let them get away with it.
It's not common, anyone getting bullied as an adult has to be slow.
Incorrect and inappropriate judgment, people that allow themselves to be bullied have a few things going on.
Often, they are like deer in headlights...esp when they are triggered into the pain
their wounded inner child is re-experiencing.
Often, they have not been taught how to stand up to someone obviously meaner
thus, seemingly more powerful than them with the proven nature and intent to hurt
them again and again...and in front of others.
Often, esp in women they are taught to be "a nice little girl, don't rock the boat'.
If they should stand up to someone they be labeled a b*tch. When really they are
a sweet and gentle kind soul.
Often, those bullied are so dumbstuck that there are people like this...
they really don't know WHAT to do...their job may be in jeopardy.
Often, they are such kind people they don't believe in hurting another as they have been hurt.
Often, they have the insight that the bully is made of cracked glass and any confrontation will
shatter them MORE psychologically...and they don't want to take on that responsibility.
Often the bullied understands the Nature of the Universe....what goes around comes around.
Soooo, just sit back and watch the mighty tumble.
So I believe this shows who exactly is slow here
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