Where is the kindergarten age cutoff after Oct 15 in NJ (pref bergen county)? (school districts, income)

[danxp]

hi,

just thought i'd ask for some advice from the forum here... i'm contemplating sending my 4yr old son to kindergarten in the fall... his birthday is 10/15, but most towns in nj have a cutoff of 9/1 or 10/1, i believe...

he's pretty smart and most people are saying he's "gifted" and a genius because he's learned to read and write and do math since he was 3... personally, i think he just has a passion to learn and not that he's necessarily a genius...

while i think sending him to kindergarten "early" will benefit him, he has significant social/emotional issues that need work... he's often disruptive at his pre-k and does not take direction well and has meltdowns for the most trivial issues...

they say the characteristics of "gifted" children are that they often exhibit these behavioral issues, whatever that may be... i think he may have a slight case of adhd... i dunno...

i'm still debating whether to send him to kindergarten this year or next... does anyone have a list of towns that have a "late" cutoff? should i hold him back due to his social/emotional lag?

also, any advice on gifted/adhd kids is welcome...

thanks.

[Obrero]

Search is your friend...

[Mightyqueen801]

Originally Posted by danxp

hi,

just thought i'd ask for some advice from the forum here... i'm contemplating sending my 4yr old son to kindergarten in the fall... his birthday is 10/15, but most towns in nj have a cutoff of 9/1 or 10/1, i believe...

he's pretty smart and most people are saying he's "gifted" and a genius because he's learned to read and write and do math since he was 3... personally, i think he just has a passion to learn and not that he's necessarily a genius...

while i think sending him to kindergarten "early" will benefit him, he has significant social/emotional issues that need work... he's often disruptive at his pre-k and does not take direction well and has meltdowns for the most trivial issues...

they say the characteristics of "gifted" children are that they often exhibit these behavioral issues, whatever that may be... i think he may have a slight case of adhd... i dunno...

i'm still debating whether to send him to kindergarten this year or next... does anyone have a list of towns that have a "late" cutoff? should i hold him back due to his social/emotional lag?

also, any advice on gifted/adhd kids is welcome...

thanks.

He is only four years old. Don't be so quick to start slapping labels on him. Let him just be four while he's four.

When it's time for him to go to kindergarten, they will test him to make sure he's ready, whichever town you live in.

[Ellwood]

Originally Posted by danxp

hi,

i'm still debating whether to send him to kindergarten this year or next... does anyone have a list of towns that have a "late" cutoff? should i hold him back due to his social/emotional lag?

My son was an incredibly smart little guy at four, he turned five in August, so I sent him to Kindergarten. Emotionally and socially he wasn't ready. The first grade teacher said to me that she wished they would change the entrance age to six to avoid problems later on. There were five boys all in the same boat and teacher suggested they repeat kindergarten. I was the only parent that agreed. Long story short...four boys turned into mediocre students, my son excelled (advanced placement, scholarships, national honor society) and went on to get two master's degrees.

I cannot offer a professional opinion on your child, only my experience.

[Mightyqueen801]

Originally Posted by Ellwood

My son was an incredibly smart little guy at four, he turned five in August, so I sent him to Kindergarten. Emotionally and socially he wasn't ready. The first grade teacher said to me that she wished they would change the entrance age to six to avoid problems later on. There were five boys all in the same boat and teacher suggested they repeat kindergarten. I was the only parent that agreed. Long story short...four boys turned into mediocre students, my son excelled (advanced placement, scholarships, national honor society) and went on to get two master's degrees.

I cannot offer a professional opinion on your child, only my experience.

When it was time for my daughter to enter kindergarten, it was April and she was turning five in late August. When she was tested, she was with the six-year-olds in reading, but as far as her small motor skills and following directions, she was still four. The school had a program called Developmental Kindergarten, and most of the kids were younger and close to the cutoff. Six months is a huge difference in age when you are four or five. After Developmental Kindergarten, these kids would go on to Transitional First Grade, which was sort of half K and half first-grade, and then into regular First Grade. My daughter caught up with her age group and skipped the last part and went into Second Grade, but her best friends were still always those first kids who were now a year behind her in school. The program was good, though, and they don't do it anymore. It's a shame.

OP, the issue is that you can look at your son and see where his strengths and weaknesses lie, but it is only in comparison to other kids his age that will determine what he is ready for, whether academically or emotionally.

[Ann77]

IME, the most important skills for K are the behavioral ones, not the academic ones.

I would advise to just follow the cutoff wherever you go. You can always supplement or accelerate academically as needed.

What does his preschool say? Do they think he should be tested for any behaviorial issues? School districts have special preschools that are free for kids with mild issues if he qualifies. A program like that might really help him get his behavioral issues under control before he enters K.

If he is disruptive and doesn't take direction and has meltdowns, I would bet that is all they are going to care about once he gets to K, not his giftedness.

For giftedness, you would need an IQ test. But to be honest, that would be the least of my concerns right now, I would work on the other things this upcoming year. Good luck.

[annaegel]

My daughter was born 10/15/1995 (Bergen County). The cut off back then was (and probably still is) 10/1. Now that she is in high school, she is in all honors classes and is more mature than her peers. The extra year gave her an advantage. I remember one parent thought their child was gifted and should start school a year sooner. She had the school test her and they said yes she is gifted, but denied her early entry into kindergarten. They were more concerned about her emotional stage, not her IQ. I have been told by other teachers, parents do their kids a disservice by pushing them ahead.

I now live in Florida, and have seen schools push gifted kids 1 or even 2 years ahead because they did not know what to do with them. They struggled mostly in middle school were their peers were getting into boys/girls and they just weren't ready for that yet. Then in high school where the kids are starting drugs, sex, etc. I am glad my daughter had a year to mature.

[danxp]

thanks for all the replies... my wife and i are leaning towards holding him back... we were thinking of moving to nyc because of a gifted program there, but i really don't like the crowdedness of nyc and the traffic... not to mention the nyc personal income tax hit...

i'm loathe to uproot the family to a situation i would find very unpleasant on the offchance that it's a better environment for my son...

[Ann77]

Originally Posted by danxp

thanks for all the replies... my wife and i are leaning towards holding him back... we were thinking of moving to nyc because of a gifted program there, but i really don't like the crowdedness of nyc and the traffic... not to mention the nyc personal income tax hit...

i'm loathe to uproot the family to a situation i would find very unpleasant on the offchance that it's a better environment for my son...

You're not holding him back, you are following the cutoff.

If you are really concerned with his giftedness, you should have his IQ tested. Find an educational psychologist.

I would be more worried about his behavioral issues and I would find someone to evaluate those immediately, either through your town or on your own. Ask your current preschool for who to contact in town, etc.

GL.

[NJGOAT]

I would personally hold him back, you have no idea what a difference a year makes. My son was born in mid-November and while he missed our local cut-off by a month, he was rather bright in my estimation and I thought he was ready for the work. We didn't fight it, but enrolled him in the public pre-K and some other activities. The amount he matured over that year was astounding and when he entered K this past fall he was more than ready and has excelled. I think if we pushed him it would have been a struggle.

FWIW, there have also been several studies of boys, primarily in Australia finding that being one of the older kids in class and hence, generally the biggest and more mature, leads to a higher degree of success early in academics and while the academic edge levels out, the observed social and sports advantages remain. The same was not observed in girls.