Where is the kindergarten age cutoff after Oct 15 in NJ (pref bergen county)?

[Lilycharm]

We held our eldest daughter back. Her birthday was a month before the cut off date. It was never something that we anticipated doing when she was born. But every year she seemed to struggle a little more maturity-wise compared to the other kids in her class. I think the social gap only would have widened the closer she got toward adolescence... something many parents don't think about when considering having their child skip ahead when they are in early elementary school.

One other point, I have talked to parents who have held their late birthday back, and those who have not. I have NEVER met one parent who regretted holding their child back or keeping them on grade level. But I have met parents who wished they had not pushed their child ahead when, although they were ready academically, were behind socially and behaviorally.

Sadly, extremely bright kids sometimes seem to have harder times socially. If you compound taht with being "babyish" (a term I would not use, but kids might), that might make for a not so fun elementary experience.

I'm sure you know your child best, but just sharing with you what I have witnessed in my own life and in the lives of parents and children I know. Good luck with your decision and to your child most of all.

[Raven1976]

I'm a preschool teacher that teaches 3 and 4 year old and I highly recommend keeping him back, especially since you say he has social/emotional problems. I've dealt with this situation many times and if the child is not ready emotionally and socially, it will really affect kindergarten. He might still be disruptive in kindergarten and find it difficult to sit all day, do work, and follow directions.

I've had many children in my class that have been completely amazing academically, but have had major issues relating to peers and following direction. Sometimes you need a little more time to allow their social/ emotional skills to develop and not rush.

I had a child a couple of years ago that had very advanced language and writing skills, but was very behind socially and emotionally because he was very disruptive and had hitting problems. Mom and dad pushed to skip him from prek3 to kindergarten and not participate in prek4. Needless to say, the child had a difficult time and they had to place him back in prek4.

[danxp]

thanks everyone for all the great replies...

based on what i'm hearing from everyone, i think we'll hold him back, that is, not pursue attending a school district with a later cutoff... hopefully that extra year will pay dividends in the long run...