I Love Milwaukee But I Gotta Leave. (Madison, Brookfield: high crime, house)

[mickd]

Originally Posted by annkathryn

I was born in Oklahoma, raised in Wis., lived in Southern California twice, Texas twice and Orlando. The climate here, is bad, but what bothers me the most, is the people. They are hard to get along with, always seem to hold a grudges are unforgiving and make me downright uncomfortable! This place has to be the king of the self-righteous and judgemental!!!!!!!!!! The south is just the opposite and I love it! We found this out, very quickly, after living in Corpus Christi and Orlando. People get along, no matter what. They're HAPPY and they make you happy. They don't hold grudges, no matter what. They don't stay mad, something I am now happily getting used too. It makes you love people, which I never did in Wisconsin. I don't know if it's the nationality of the people in Wis. or what.

I have to agree with you annkathryn. Living in Waukesha/Milwaukee County all of my life and living here in Charleston, SC for the last 7 momths, it is so refreshing to see people who are so friendly and polite. I'm not talking about acqaintances, but total strangers! People who wave to you in your car who you don't even know. Kids that wave to you at your work location. People who say "excuse me" when they walk past you in the aisle at a store. People who work in stores at probably minimum wage jobs that are honestly happy. Not to mention all ethnic backgrounds that all get along. I'm not talking about a few people but everyone is like this. You want to be a friendlier and more polite person or you will be a very, very small minority. This suits me fine, I always thought it strange living in Wisconsin that people seemed so into themselves. I am so amazed at this, it is one of the reasons I love the area I'm in. A friend from Milwaukee visited me a few weeks ago and he had the same observation as myself. I will always love Wisconsin and am still homesick at times, but it is not because of the people in the urban/suburban areas of Milwaukee and Waukesha.

[Fishtacos]

I'm not trying to stir the pot, but sometimes the people with perfect manners are the people who go home and rip you behind your back. Sometimes the people with perfect manners are the people you never seem to get to know well, because they are too busy having perfect manners. People with depth, sincerity, empathy, and those manners, seem like a good combination to me.

[Empidonax]

Originally Posted by Fishtacos

I'm not trying to stir the pot, but sometimes the people with perfect manners are the people who go home and rip you behind your back. Sometimes the people with perfect manners are the people you never seem to get to know well, because they are too busy having perfect manners. People with depth, sincerity, empathy, and those manners, seem like a good combination to me.

There is some truth to this. Before coming to Milwaukee, I lived in the south for a little while. Yes, the people were generally more personable and friendlier, but after a while the cracks started to show. When people found out that I'm a gay atheist, the shoulders got colder than a Wisconsin winter. Fortunately, I did have friends there, but almost all were transplants from other parts of the country. I don't find Milwaukeeans to be as superficially friendly, but the ones I've befriended are keepers. It goes to show that a lack of overt, performed friendliness doesn't mean that a person cannot be a good friend.

[Empidonax]

Originally Posted by mickd

People who wave to you in your car who you don't even know. Kids that wave to you at your work location. People who say "excuse me" when they walk past you in the aisle at a store. People who work in stores at probably minimum wage jobs that are honestly happy.

It seems to me that, to a large extent, people in the South are socialized better. I too remember lots of "yes sir" and "excuse me" and "how are you today" from the kids and adults I met (and taught). It seems that much of this comes from religious upbringing (churches, private academies, etc.), but I also noticed that attitudes changed significantly around gays, atheists, Mormons, and even Catholics. Of course, this doesn't apply to everyone I met there, but I saw quite a bit nonetheless. And this was in a small town (and vicinity) near an urban center.

[Milwaukee Ronnie]

On the East Coast, people aren't rude, they're curt. They don't really have the time to deal with you. Pleasantries are shared to grease the wheels a little bit so that we can all get moving. They want to deal with you as little as possible, and the politeness is geared to that end.

In the Midwest, we're friendly, but only to a point. We're open to having a conversation with a total stranger, but we're still on the move. I'll talk to you for about 30 seconds, tops, then I really need to get going.

The South is totally different, I've found. Total strangers will stand and talk and talk (and talk) for what seems like hours. There just isn't as much of an impetus to get going.

I remember one time I was in a grocery store in Columbus, GA, standing in the beer aisle. The manager comes strolling past and, when he heard our accents, commented about how we're not from around there. We said, no, we're from Milwaukee, and, naturally, being in the beer aisle, this turned into a discussion of Milwaukee beer. The thing is, this conversation went on, and on, and on. For what seemed like a solid ten minutes. Just small talk about beer and the weather and so and so forth. I glanced at my wartch, and I felt like saying, "look, I don't mean to be rude, but we really have to get our beer and be on our way here." It's just much more open and laid back down South.

[gold*dust1]

Originally Posted by Milwaukee Ronnie

On the East Coast, people aren't rude, they're curt. They don't really have the time to deal with you. Pleasantries are shared to grease the wheels a little bit so that we can all get moving. They want to deal with you as little as possible, and the politeness is geared to that end.

In the Midwest, we're friendly, but only to a point. We're open to having a conversation with a total stranger, but we're still on the move. I'll talk to you for about 30 seconds, tops, then I really need to get going.

The South is totally different, I've found. Total strangers will stand and talk and talk (and talk) for what seems like hours. There just isn't as much of an impetus to get going.

I remember one time I was in a grocery store in Columbus, GA, standing in the beer aisle. The manager comes strolling past and, when he heard our accents, commented about how we're not from around there. We said, no, we're from Milwaukee, and, naturally, being in the beer aisle, this turned into a discussion of Milwaukee beer. The thing is, this conversation went on, and on, and on. For what seemed like a solid ten minutes. Just small talk about beer and the weather and so and so forth. I glanced at my wartch, and I felt like saying, "look, I don't mean to be rude, but we really have to get our beer and be on our way here." It's just much more open and laid back down South.

Well they are definitely known for that slow pace thing. I did however meet curt hotel employees in SC and FL who could rival any midwestern curtness. According to my thesaurus curt is defined as being brisk, abrupt, brusque, *rude*, or brief with the opposite being civil.

Sorry to say but many of the midwestern kids I have been encountering lately seem to be devoid of any manners and are taught to be mini adults at very young ages. On the flip side I have encountered some very polite and curteous youngsters who have huge smiles on their faces and a genuine enthusiasm for life. One will encounter many rude self absorbed shoppers in a place like Woodmans, I guarantee it.

To sum up, after I started thinking about it, people aren't necessarily gaga friendly here in Madison.

[gold*dust1]

Originally Posted by quijote

It seems to me that, to a large extent, people in the South are socialized better. I too remember lots of "yes sir" and "excuse me" and "how are you today" from the kids and adults I met (and taught). It seems that much of this comes from religious upbringing (churches, private academies, etc.), but I also noticed that attitudes changed significantly around gays, atheists, Mormons, and even Catholics. Of course, this doesn't apply to everyone I met there, but I saw quite a bit nonetheless. And this was in a small town (and vicinity) near an urban center.

I agree.

[The Todd]

I'm a flannel man, I hate summer becuase I can't wear them, too hot. From what I hear, I'd love the south and Texas and all that, but its just too hot. Thinking about checking out Seattle and Portland some time. Maybe Colorado, idk.

[dfunk2funk]

Having lived in Milwaukee for eight years and Milwaukee for seven before that, I see both sides. It appeared to me that the people in the south were pretty nice on the outside, personable and with manners, but were quick to cut you down behind your back. This is merely my opinion but it seemed to me people wore their religion on their sleeve and used it to justify their nasty behavior. "I think so and so is a real jerk. I will pray for them." Huh???The other difference I found was in the dating scene. Women in the south thought I was a nut job when I offered to pay for half of my date. They believed the men were supposed to pay for the whole thing. Needless to say, I had more dates!I also remember my first date with a southern gentleman. He came to pick me up and we were walking to his car. He walked to the passenger side door. I was completely oblivious to what he was doing, so I started walking to the drivers side and said, "you must want me to drive?" Hilarious. I was clueless that he wanted to open my car door. So either Milwaukee has less men that open car doors, or I never dated any of them. Neeless to say, the southern gentleman thought I was a robo-babe. I spoke my mind and wanted to drive=robo-babe.Merely my opinion!

[Criss1956]

I was born and raised in the South.
Other than living overseas for several years, I've never been really out of the South East USA.
You are right about people here being polite to your face then as soon as you turn your back, they are talking about you.
Many people here do wear their religion on their sleeves. Oftentimes, the first question people will ask you is "what church do you go to?"

Also, you can say just about anything about anybody as long as you say "Bless his/her heart" afterward. For instance: Ole Bubba ain't got sense enough to pour **** out of a boot with a hole in the toe and instructions on the heel.... bless his heart. Or: Man, that ole gal is about as ugly as homemade sin.....Bless her heart.

Yes, women here expect you to pay for everything when you go on a date.
I've dated professional women who made a lot - A Lot - more than me and they didn't offer to pay a cent. To top it off, they would get the most expensive thing and would eat like a hawg.

Yes, we do open the doors for women for the first few dates.
However, that all stops after a few dates when she is comfortable enough to break wind in front of you.


Sadly, the cities here have lost their character, with shopping malls, strip malls everywhere, every exit on the freeways have the same chain restaurants and stores. We have little or no public transportation. That's why I've started to look at the possibility of moving up north or maybe back to Europe.