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Of course not. OP is talking about his own wife, using the old "my friend has a problem" distancing tactic. He should be talking to her about this issue, not us.
Yeah, that could well be the truth...haha....lol.....Busted....:-D)
Reminds me of a little story my Grandfather told about my Grandmother. They were married in 1914, back when women didn't even have the right to vote, let alone decide about their hair!
GM, like most women of her day, had never cut her hair, it was down to the floor and she wore it up in two buns at the nape of her neck. She complained of constant headaches. One day GF suggested to cut her hair, get one of those "new style" bobs. GM was astonished at the suggestion---cut her hair? But she decided to do so.
But when she went to the salon, they required her husband to give permission! In lieu of a husband, her father, brother, uncle, some male family member. GF went with her the next day, but he was incensed. He told them its her hair, she can do as she wants, why should she need his permission, she could shave it bald if that's what she wanted. Quite liberal for his day! BTW, it cured the headaches!
I could tell you many similar stories from my own family, around those times. In fact, our own society was not much different in its repression and degradation of women then, than are other cultural and religious groups that we freely condemn today.
In my mother's family, a young man was considered an adult at age 15 and he got to sit at the dinner table, where only men were allowed, with the exception of wives of visiting men (of course, they were expected not to talk and express any opinions, unless asked by a man). The woman of the house had to eat at a table in the kitchen, behind a closed door, along with all the children and any young or unmarried women, of any age.
No child or unmarried daughter of any age, was ever permitted to talk directly to the father, unless he spoke first. To speak to the father, first they had to get the permission of the mother and she would then ask the father if he would talk to them. This was not always granted. If the mother had died, the oldest daughter would take her place in supervising the children, which the father rarely would do. But, she still wouldn't be permitted to sit at the adult men's table, but just go in and out of the room, to serve the food.
If the woman or a daughter who had reached puberty wanted to go anywhere, she had to be escorted by an adult male family member. Does that sound familiar, in regards to some of those other current-day cultures we like so much to criticize? We have come a long way, over the last century. Is there hope that those other cultures will be able to catch up?
LOL, if my hair length is a key factor in your attraction to me, we're better off not being together. It's such a trivial thing, and it's going to change, so that's really not a good bellweather, in terms of long-term attraction.
As far as I can tell my husband has no overwhelming preference for hair length or color. I have noticed that he tends to compliment bangs when I have them, but that's about all. I don't find very close-cropped hair flattering to my face, which is a long oval, so as short as I prefer to go is a chin-length bob. But it's been every length between butt-length and chin-length in the time we've been together.
I'm wondering how many of the males decrying the young wife cutting her hair, are actually married themselves. My guess is none. The Op is over invested in his friend's marriage.
You're lucky to have found such a tolerant and accommodating man (regarding the tattoos, as well). He seems to be one of the "If you're happy, then I'm happy" types. I suppose I'd be that way too, regarding a woman about whom I really cared. But deep inside, I might not like it and I don't know how long I could keep it inside. People should contemplate these things, that go beyond what others might seem to be expressing on the surface.
Lucky? Not really. All of the men I've dated seriously are of the "You do you" mindset. I've only worn my hair super short on three separate occasions in the last 13 years, and all were done to transition to my natural hair texture without all the maintenance issues of dealing with two very different hair textures.
I wouldn't call the many men I met and dated "tolerant and accommodating" for the reasons you state. They simply have different preferences than you and others who share your preferences. The type I dated were not at all bothered by body modification, and the majority had none, or very few. Actually, many expressed a genuine liking for well-done body art, including the straight-laced types.
Here's a real answer... Maybe she or "they" wanted it long for the actual wedding, or had always wanted it short, but didn't want to do something that drastic before the wedding. After the wedding, the pressure to look a certain way is off, not because the papers are signed, but because she isn't int he spotlight anymore.
Def possible. Some women grow their hair/refrain from cutting it specifically for the traditional updo that's often used for standard bridal styles, but have no intention of keeping it that long.
I didn't go the traditional updo route, myself but many wouldn't do anything but.
You're lucky to have found such a tolerant and accommodating man (regarding the tattoos, as well). He seems to be one of the "If you're happy, then I'm happy" types. I suppose I'd be that way too, regarding a woman about whom I really cared. But deep inside, I might not like it and I don't know how long I could keep it inside. People should contemplate these things, that go beyond what others might seem to be expressing on the surface.
Why would anybody marry anybody NOT of the "If you're happy, then I'm happy" persuasion? Serious question.
You're lucky to have found such a tolerant and accommodating man (regarding the tattoos, as well). He seems to be one of the "If you're happy, then I'm happy" types. I suppose I'd be that way too, regarding a woman about whom I really cared. But deep inside, I might not like it and I don't know how long I could keep it inside. People should contemplate these things, that go beyond what others might seem to be expressing on the surface.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Metaphysique
Lucky? Not really. All of the men I've dated seriously are of the "You do you" mindset. I've only worn my hair super short on three separate occasions in the last 13 years, and all were done to transition to my natural hair texture without all the maintenance issues of dealing with two very different hair textures.
I wouldn't call the many men I met and dated "tolerant and accommodating" for the reasons you state. They simply have different preferences than you and others who share your preferences. The type I dated were not at all bothered by body modification, and the majority had none, or very few. Actually, many expressed a genuine liking for well-done body art, including the straight-laced types.
I've never said anything about my own preferences, which are actually quite wide and encompassing. But you seem to be impervious to any favorable or complimentary remarks and at a certain point it becomes impossible to even keep trying.
My first hair cut at age 9 how I did cry my mom brought both my sister and I into a salon. Choice I had none and cry I did and was unhappy. Now I like short hair for the fact it is easy to care for and I am in charge.
I've never said anything about my own preferences, which are actually quite wide and encompassing. But you seem to be impervious to any favorable or complimentary remarks and at a certain point it becomes impossible to even keep trying.
I think its worth acknowledging that it's not a matter of luck to be married to somebody who doesn't as a rule make demands of how a partner keeps his or her personal appearance. It's a choice. You can decide or not decide to marry somebody who operates that way. Metaphysique most likely wouldn't have chosen to marry somebody who required briefing on changes to one's grooming or personal styling, and needed to have their approval or disapproval noted. Frankly, neither would I, and neither would many people.
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