Are the French kind to foreigners who speak only a bit of French, or are they condescending?? (best, country)

[Bluefox]

I know that the French have a reputation for being rude to those who do assume they can/will speak English, and I actually understand where they're coming from. French is their language, and it's hypocritical for Americans to expect foreigners to speak English in the US, while in the same breath expect foreigners to also speak English in their own countries.

My heritage is primarily French, mostly from Quebec, but also from francophone Switzerland, and France itself. My mother wanted me to take French, but admittedly I snubbed French in favor of Spanish, as Spanish is a more valuable language to know in my country. But recently I've had a desire to visit France and Quebec, so I've been teaching myself some French via a language learning app and I've actually learned a good amount. I never appreciated just how many words English borrows from French. And in many ways French and Spanish are similar which has also helped.

That being said, I'm nowhere near fluent and even if I pursue this endeavor diligently, it will be years before I can achieve that. I know I'm going to mess up words and conjugations and pronunciation, just as I did while struggling to gain a fluency in Spanish.

I had an experience about two years ago with some co-workers. We were out to lunch, and were all new to each other. One of them was from France, and one of them was American but had minored in French in college and had lived there during college. When she tried to engage him in French, he told her that he preferred to speak English to her because her French wasn't very good. I thought that was an exceptionally rude and condescending thing to say to someone who had put so much effort into learning his language and culture. I never once experienced that in Spain, even though back then my Spanish wasn't very good either. Then again, I realize that Americans do place a premium on politeness and are perhaps more easily offended than people are in other countries. And I know that's just one experience from one person, but it's really all I have. I've read things on the internet but the answers are all over the place.

I'm just wondering what to reasonably expect. I want to visit France probably in 2017 or 2018, but I would like to adjust my expectations to fit with reality. I actually have no problem with people correcting me when my pronunciation or grammar is poor, in fact I appreciate it. That's a big part of how I became fluent in Spanish. I don't appreciate snottiness, however.

So I guess my question is whether I can expect people to be helpful to me in France, or should I expect criticism and take it in stride?

[FBF]

In Paris and other big cities at rush hour, the French tend to be a bit impatient (like other nationals in big cities) when dealing with accented French speakers. But in places like restaurants or brassieres where it is a little bit more relax....they will actually appreciate the effort for speaking French.

French value a Bonjour/Bonsour before requesting or saying anything. If you appear confident or relax, they will treat you accordingly. Always call them Monsieur/Madame if you do not know them! If you keep doing this, the French in return will give you respect as well.

I was treated better in restaurants by being seated near locals instead of tourists because I spoke French (I am not very fluent, but I knew enough what to order) and pronounce it as best as I can for them to understand (which they did) and I was given good service. Most French waiters are trained to be efficient, not chatty (unless you are a regular), so it helped me out as a beginner in French.

[viribusunitis]

I don't speak a lick of French and never ran into problems in France. The key is to not be insulted by someone who struggles to understand you. Be patient and flexible.

[Zeurich]

I did not experience any in France. I do speak french but expressly don't use in France

[adrianf91]

You better keep learning Spanish, they're way friendlier than the french

What you mention is true, and not a myth...

Their rudeness is huge, and I don't know how they expect people to learn their language by doing this

[pigeonhole]

They are not downright rude (or rarely), but so damn condescending...

[botticelli]

My French professor explained this exact question a while ago. He said while a lot of tourists find the French people rude, the French people often find those tourists rude as well. For example, he lives in old town Nice and many times a month he runs into foreign tourists asking him "hi, do you know where is XXX". And to him, a traditional Frenchman in his 50s, it is quite impolite. And if not in the right mood that day, he may refuse to answer.


Maybe the casual Americans think it is acceptable to ask a total stranger "hi, where is XXX" on the street of Los Angeles, but for the French people, especially the old generation, that's disrespectful. It is not about you not speaking French, but about how the question was asked. In French, the polite way to say is "excuse me for bothering you, but could you tell me how to get to XXX". The phrase "excusez-moi de vous deranger" words like magic and everyone would stop to help you.


I tried it several times in different French towns (in Nice, Menton and later Lyon) , and the locals were always very helpful. And yes, always start the sentence with Monsieur or Madam. It may sound overly formal in English, but to the French, it is almost obligatory.


He also told us that once there was a foreign customer who stepped into a restaurant in Nice, and started to snap his fingers to ask for the waiter a few times. And the restaurant ended up refusing service to him.


Such cultural differences are many. In America it is natural to ask "check, please" without offending anyone. In France, what I heard is that simply saying "L'addition, s'il vous plait" is not actually a polite way to ask for the bill, although the French waiters usually won't say anything. A better way is "I would like the bill" or "could you bring me the bill, please".


Speaking of carrying out conversations in French, I usually had no such issues although my French is far from fluent. Most French are patient. A old lady at a bakery even corrected my mistake with a smile. There were twice, both in Nice, where the shop assistant and another time the hotel receptionist switched to English in the middle of a conversation, which I thought was kind of rude.


In summary, I don't think the French are more rude than anything other country. Of course they are proud of their language and tradition so don't expect them to look up to you when you start with your American accent (like in Southeast Asia or Hong Kong for example), but if you follow their cultural customs and they will respect you in the same way. The trick is the French tend to be a bit more formal than the English speaking countries, so one has to keep that in mind when talking to people you don't know. often they sound rude because you were being rude without knowing it. It is in France so it is your responsibility to act in a way that is considered respectful by the French, not the other way around.

[gwarnecke]

I found the French to among the most-polite in Europe, and I spoke zero French other a handful of key words/phrases.

[arthurrdim]

I'm french and of course I'm not rude with tourists. I can answer in english and give some explanations without problem as a majority of people of my age (with a little accent...)

Actually French generaly don't like the attitude sometimes rude of american tourists. It's not a majority but it's quite frequently. Just try to speak "bonjour", "merci" and everything will be fine

[Greysholic]

I actually find myself ruder than French people in France. In France you're supposed to say hi and bye when you're buying stuff or asking for directions and whatnot, which is not exactly the case at home or in other European countries.