Returning a dog I adopted to the shelter because she isn't the "right fit?" (shih tzu, vet)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I had to return a lab mix puppy to a shelter a couple of years ago. I felt guilty about it and the shelter made me feel really bad about it, but he didn't fit with my family and he was keeping my daughter from being able to move around the house. He also didn't tolerate the crate, even at night, and was extremely loud. I kept him for a week, but my daughter kept getting trapped in the bathroom or kitchen and I had to go drag him away to let her out.
This year I adopted another lab mix puppy, and she's been the perfect fit for my family. I really hesitated because things hadn't worked out well with the first puppy, but this dog is totally different. We've done the same things with her that we did with the other pup, the difference is that she tries to learn and wants to please us.
In my case, the shelter kept the adoption fee for the first pup (which was fine) and said that I could never adopt another dog from them.
She's a puppy, she will calm down somewhat once she gets to be over a year. We have a cockerspaniel/bichon mix with similar energy levels and she was impossible to deal with at that age. Couple that with taking care of an elderly person and you can imagine how we felt. Once they get to be adults they will calm down somewhat. I would recommend walking her twice a day, once when you get up in the morning and once when you get home since she probably sleeps for some portion of the day.
She is a puppy and puppies are like this. We always had things around the house for our dog to chew up since she was obviously teething. You also need to make sure she gets some good exercise when you get home as this may tire her out somewhat. We have also found that keeping something of yours that you may wear alot where she can get it also helps, as some dogs likme to lay on this because it is yours and your scent is on it.
This makes me so angry I can almost not respond. The major reason dogs are in shelters is because people can't or don't take care of them, usually taking or buying a cute puppy and then noticing that the young dog needs training, attention, time. How many dogs are in shelters because "We didn't have the time for him?"
THe OP is a perfect example. Nothing wrong with the dog, s/he adopted a pup that isn't right for her home or current way of living and working. I hope the pup goes back to the rescue- and is that "a shelter dog who is there for a reason?"
I only hope the above poster I quoted said it to get a reaction or trolling, and not because it's an honest belief. It's ugly and untrue.
In all honesty, shelter dogs are in shelters for a reason. The reason is irresponsible owners. Period.
They start in the hands of either an irresponsible owner with an unwanted litter or in the home of a crappy backyard breeder that wanted the money for that puppy, period. They don't bother to check out the person that's buying from them.
From there they go to someone that fell in love with a cute puppy. They didn't do homework on how to properly raise a puppy. Just liked the cute face. And the ones buying from the BYB are even worse, but they not only want a cute puppy, they want one that's 'purebred' to show off to their likewise brainless friends.
Either way it goes the same from there. It's cute and little for a while but eventually it outgrows that stage. It's not smart enough to teach itself rules of the house by osmosis. Stupid puppy. So out it now much go, left unattended in a yard alone with no clue why it's been banished. Alone and scared, it cries, barks, digs, etc. Ultimately the owner decides it's a stupid dog that doesn't know how to behave and dropping food in a dish and water in the water bowl each day is just way too much effort to put into this dog, so off to the shelter it goes with no concern of whether it will make it out alive.
So yes, there's a reason most dogs are in shelters. Humans. That's the reason.
This makes me so angry I can almost not respond. The major reason dogs are in shelters is because people can't or don't take care of them, usually taking or buying a cute puppy and then noticing that the young dog needs training, attention, time. How many dogs are in shelters because "We didn't have the time for him?"
THe OP is a perfect example. Nothing wrong with the dog, s/he adopted a pup that isn't right for her home or current way of living and working. I hope the pup goes back to the rescue- and is that "a shelter dog who is there for a reason?"
I only hope the above poster I quoted said it to get a reaction or trolling, and not because it's an honest belief. It's ugly and untrue.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrs1885
In all honesty, shelter dogs are in shelters for a reason. The reason is irresponsible owners. Period.
They start in the hands of either an irresponsible owner with an unwanted litter or in the home of a crappy backyard breeder that wanted the money for that puppy, period. They don't bother to check out the person that's buying from them.
From there they go to someone that fell in love with a cute puppy. They didn't do homework on how to properly raise a puppy. Just liked the cute face. And the ones buying from the BYB are even worse, but they not only want a cute puppy, they want one that's 'purebred' to show off to their likewise brainless friends.
Either way it goes the same from there. It's cute and little for a while but eventually it outgrows that stage. It's not smart enough to teach itself rules of the house by osmosis. Stupid puppy. So out it now much go, left unattended in a yard alone with no clue why it's been banished. Alone and scared, it cries, barks, digs, etc. Ultimately the owner decides it's a stupid dog that doesn't know how to behave and dropping food in a dish and water in the water bowl each day is just way too much effort to put into this dog, so off to the shelter it goes with no concern of whether it will make it out alive.
So yes, there's a reason most dogs are in shelters. Humans. That's the reason.
I agree with both of you but I think we can factor in the economy as a reason for many pets ending up in shelters as well. Pets who otherwise were loved and cared for are having to be placed in shelters because there is no other option when an owner loses their home to foreclosure and other factors related to the crappy economy.
I had an unplanned litter of puppies four years ago next month. I had picked up a puppy that someone had dumped out here - in the winter and in the snow. My plan had been to get him neutered as soon as he was old enough but instead I was seriously hurt on the job and in and out of the hospital and two or three sessions a week of physical therapy and Toby didn't get neutered as planned. I have a female Border collie, who at that time, was not spayed and sure enough Toby nailed her. She had nine puppies and I thought I would have no problems finding them homes but the closer I got to that point, the more I worried about what kinds of homes they would go to and whether or not they would be permanent. So, I ended up keeping them - all nine of them. Everybody, including mom, is now spayed and neutered. Have they complicated my life, having so many dogs (13 total)? You bet! But at least they are cared for and loved and fed and taken care of - one just spent five days at the vet's for a gastrointestinal problem - and will never end up on death row in a shelter.
theres alot of good info in thei thread op (and some nasty not through through comments)
heres some thigns to keep in mind.
1: shes a terrier...you admit you didnt do your reasercha nd let your hart take over and the cute factor win...you rished and now your going to have to figue this out. things to remember with terriers is they were bred to work, this means HIGH energy. this means shes going to need ALOT ALOT ALOT of excersize...of course shes running wild, shes got no structure and you work long hours...
so youve got a few options to deal with this.
while your at work...a dog walker or doggy day care (even just 3 days a week though daily woudl be better) somewhere you drop her off in the morning on your way to work and pick her up on your way home.
when you are home your going to need to work with her...this goes for ANY dog, 10 hours a day is a long time to be alone and when you come home you just want t sit and relax...well sorry...THAT is not happening...when you get home out your going for a good long walk (at least 30 minutes of FOCUSED walking, not stopping here and there to sniff and such...if she hasnt been at doggy day care let her take care of potty duties first but then a SERIOUS walk is in order...you might want to look into getting her a back pack too.
on the days your not working i hope you like the outdoors, get out, go hiking go to the park, shed rbably LOVE agility...she needs a good at minimum 30 mins 3 times a day of REAL excersize Running focused walking, agility and mental stimulation like training.
your also going to want to enrol her in a puppy training class...the mental stimulation of training is a form of exserze and will help tire her out...
your also want at least 3 15 minute sessions a day when not at class of focused training sessions (15 mins MAX keep them short fun and always end on a positive note) and at least an hour a day of free play, fetch frisbie running aroudn like iditots in the back yard kind of play...going to the dog park would also work for this.
a TIRED dog is a happy dog and a happy dog is a good dog.
2: ofcourse she hates the crate, shes not been conditioned to stay in it...
youd need to focus on making the crate a good thing and being consistent, ALL dogs whill whine bark cry and genrlaly act like lunatics the first few times in a crate...why?! because it works, i make a fuss they let me out, tada, your being trained!
you need to practice ignoring and distraction, feed her in her crate, give her treats in her crate, when leaving her for any longer than 5 mins give her a puzzle toy liek a kong filled with goodies and gooped up with peanut butter to give her something to work at and distract her. at night invest in some ear plugs and ignore her...during the day encorage her to use it by leaving it open and making it a good place (feeding her in there ect)
she will get used to the crate.
if crating her all day is out of the question (and 10 hours in a crate for a young dog is over the top) your going to need to pick a room to puppy proof, a kitchen or bathroom area is usually god for this due to whipe clean floors, put her crate in that room open, leave her with water, some toys (and a kong or simila "time buster" toy and a safe potty area if shes under 8 motnhs old (expecting a dog under a year to hold their bladder for 10 hours is nutz!, infact i wouldnt expect an ADULT dog whos been throughly house broken to hold their bladder that long under any ciircumstances) so something like a potty patch might be an option due to the long days. but since YOU "cant" keep your stuff out of her way, your going to need to give her a safe place to stay when your not home to supervise.
when you are home, she needs to be watched 24/7 if you cant keep an eye on her for whatever reason (cooking dinner, having a shower ect) she either needs to be tethered to you or in her sape place (be it the puppy proofed room or her crate).
she has to EARN trust, it shoudl never be given automatically.
practice a NILF method of training with her make her sit for her meals and treats...i dont go over the top, i dont make them work for snuggles or petting as they woudlnt have to normally, effection is freely given in nature...but food, treats and toys are earnt...
as you can see, you CAN work with this dog and it could potentially be your best buddy and a WONDERFULL dog...
right now its an energetic rescue pup whos had no training and doesnt know HOW to behave.
however....if your not willing or able to put the time in that im talking about...
this time meaning say good bye to life outside of work for a while...youll go to work youll come home and youll spend every moment with that dog beyond making dinner, eating and sleeping...on the weekends youll need to dedicate MOST if not all the day to that dog beyond grocery shopping...ect...
if your NOT willing or not able to decdicate this time she NEEDS to be returned to the shelter, i woudlnt however return her to a kill shelter (low or otherise, theres any number of rescues across the country who would be more than happy to take on a frinedly young dog given her issues are simply a lack of trainign and excersize...
do not try and rehome her yourself unless you check your adoption contract VERY carefully...its often illegal to do so under the adoption contract.
shes got potential if youve got the time and dedication, its ONLY been a week and i generally tell people itll take about a month for a dog to get settled into their new home...
but if youve not got the dedication and time this is going to take shed be better in a shelter with the oportunity to find someone that does.
in YOUR situation id suggest a SMALL breed adult/young senior dog.
you think this dog is crazy youd never be able to handle a lab, golden or GSD...labs especially are INSANE untill about 2 1/2-3yrs old lol.
a small companion bred form the toy group (avoid yorkies as they are terriers) over 4 years old (given many toy breeds live 15-20 years 4 yrs old is NOT old) whos been in a foster situation would be better for you, a dog thats already crate trained house broken and more than content to spend the day snoozing on the couch. a bichon, maltese, chihuahua, shi-tzu ect or mixes thereof who woudl be happy to go out for a quick walk then spend the evening snuggled on your lap on the couch...
an older cocker cavalier or english toy spaneil might also work well for you...
you seem to KNOW you didnt do enough research here...the next step is deciding how much work your willing to put into this...if the answer is "not alot" then please give this young pup chance to find a new home by returning her...id rather see her returned and potentilaly put to sleep than spending her life frustrated and untrained and driving you to hate her...
i dont think id nessicarily say No dogs for you...you sound like your heart was in the right place and you deinfatly sound like potentially a good home for the right dog...
but i do think you need to seriously think about what you want and can handle in a dog...at this point a larger breed or younger dog of ANY breed is NOT going to fit what you can handle...
If you can rehome her on your own, that would be best for you, but she'd get greater exposure to more adopting folks if you bring her back to the shelter.
After awhile, if you still want a dog, look into an older dog. One with less energy.
If you do decide to keep her -you don't need to walk her when you get home at 3am... I realize you're just frustrated, but obviously, walking her at 4pm, BEFORE you go to work for 45 minutes, would work just as well as doing it afterward.
Don't go get a cat, looking for companionship. To have a GOOD cat, they need to bond with you and that requires time. I hear people complain all the time about their cats, but they never spend time with them. Then they come to my house and RAVE about how sweet mine are... I spent a LOT of time with them as kittens, which is why they act the way they do. Cats need less attention than a dog, but they are more difficult to bond with.
The dogs I've had in the past were all strays or from the shelter... and I don't recall them ever being so high maintenance. They were all bigger dogs. I've had a Shepherd mix, a Terrier/Retriever mix, and a Retriever mix. I'd take them for a walk once a day after school maybe 5 times a week, cleaned up their poop in the yard everyday, and hung out with them inside the house where they were happy to just sit by my feet while I read or watch TV and get belly rubs. They required attention, but not this much.
I must have underestimated the fact that I had much more free time and energy when I was younger, and that my mom and brother were also there to tend to the dogs. We also lived in a bigger house. I'm now a single woman working full time, living in a one bedroom apartment.
This is a common mistake people make when their only dog experience was a family pet in childhood. Parents pretty much do everything. And the calm dogs in their memory was because the dogs got older and calmer.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ccheng82x
The shelter I adopted Toffee from has a 21 day trial period. I am free to return her any time within 21 days. If I decide that I can't make the commitment to give Toffee all the attention she needs and return her to the shelter, should I even consider getting an older dog that might suit my lifestyle better?
Trust me, I don't feel good about this. I feel like a selfish commitmentphobe because I can't commit to taking care of this one. But is it really possible that I just got the wrong dog? I was hoping for an experience with calmer dogs who would relax by my side instead of sprinting around the room like they're dodging bullets. The older, calmer dogs I've had in the past always made me feel happy and at peace. So far, Toffee has mostly made me feel stress because she can't sit still and is constantly searching for the next item to tear apart.
I think you should return Toffee. Don't adopt another dog until you are at a different place in your life. Dogs need owners who have time for them. As others have said, a cat would be a good alternative for you.
Happens to rescue dogs a lot. People go and rescue a dog because they think they are doing the right thing. Then the reality of how damaged the dog is hits home.
That's why I tell people to stay away from rescue dogs unless you are prepared for the worst.
Getting a dog is a big step, pretty irresponsible to throw politics into the decision just to appear to be doing the right thing.
I advise you to get a well bred dog from a reputable breeder unless you absolutely ready to retrain a dog and possibly spend thousands on them for health issues.
And think about getting two dogs as they will keep each other company during those long days you are gone. Bichon/Shih Tzu mixes are great dogs. Very calm and lovable but they really are happy when a pair.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
