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Location: Cleveland, OH USA / formerly Chicago for 20 years
4,069 posts, read 7,313,636 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jmgg
Instead of giving money to the panhandlers, the answer is to give money to the places providing the food, or simply volunteer your time to help with the meals at these establishment. Then you KNOW it's being utilized correctly.
This same scenario has to be available at some level in Chicago as well. If it's limited in scope it's time for the Chicago leaders to build more places to help the homeless to at least not be hungry. Just throwing money at these people does NO good.
When I lived in Chicago (up until 2015) there were tons of places where people in need could get free meals. At my local McDonald's I used to see groups of homeless guys who would discuss with each other where to get the best meals, where to get clothes and showers, etc.
Of course, I don't know how the pandemic/shutdown has affected those places. Here in Cleveland they switched to takeout only.
More than once, panhandlers have approached me with the sob story that they haven't eaten in three or four days. Well, there are plenty of places to go for a free meal, so if you haven't eaten in that long it's your own fault.
I agree that it's better to donate to a soup kitchen or homeless shelter than to give money directly to panhandlers. I tend to assume they really want the money to feed their alcohol or drug habit, and I don't want to be an enabler.
Toria T, thank you for your kind words. I truly appreciate it.
I certainly do the same in Milwaukee. But Chicago is always my second home. I never feel like "just a visitor" and I feel like I want to help take care of my city. You know when I was at The Book Cellar in Lincoln Square, I once picked up the trash that was blown into their area of tables and chairs in front of the bookstore. The employee said I did not need to do that. But I offered because I figured it would help from making an employee have to leave the store to do it. Besides, a business looks nicer with no garbage in front of it. It wasn't the businesses' fault as I'm sure the wind just blew it all there.
Besides, there's nothing wrong with trying to help others.
Exactly as you mention the kind people who make sandwiches and meals for people on Lower Wacker Drive. It never really hurts to at least TRY to be kind to others.
TRUE STORY: At a Barnes and Noble in Milwaukee (recently closed for good), I tried to make pleasant chat with a guy in the men's room. THAT did NOT go good!! I tried to apologize for upsetting him. I really tried to talk to him. He certainly had a right to be left alone by a stranger. However, that particular day the conversation did not work and he came towards me.
As embarrassing as this is, I put my dukes up and bounced in a boxer's stance and invited him to step closer and fight me then, if that's what he preferred.
He then took a quick right turn and walked away. But it was still embarrassing because the staff knew a different side of me, there were patrons watching this, and my kids were in the children's section.
For some reason, this story has stuck in my head the last couple of days. The reason being, not long after the start of the violence in Chicago, (today is the 1-month anniversary of the Floyd killing), I was at a suburban gas station filling up, I was the only car in there. While fueling, another car pulled in to the other side of the pump I was using, and a guy got out. I noticed he was wearing house-slippers with no socks, and sweat pants / T-shirt, he looked like he had just woken up, but who knows. I wasn't paying attention to his race, he could have been a light-skinned black guy, or even Hispanic or Middle-Eastern, I guess. He said "Hello" to me and I nodded back, but he must not have noticed the nod, I didn't say anything because neither of us were wearing masks, and I've been trying to stay away from people, and didn't want to get into a conversation with a stranger. Also, I probably hadn't spoken a word in hours, maybe even the day - living alone, some days I only speak to the dogs, and even then it's only "Good boy", or "Down", or "Quit humping my leg, dammit!". To be honest, I was distracted with the thoughts of what had been going on in the city for the past day or so, my town had blocked the main roads going past our town with dump trucks to keep people from coming out of the city, and I was simply distracted.
So anyway, he walks back into my field of view, and loudly says, "Hey, I said Hello!'. So I replied, "Oh, sorry, hey, how are you!", and satisfied with that, he turned and went into the station, probably to buy smokes, because he didn't pump any gas. He came back out and said, "You be careful, OK?" And to this I replied "You too, Buddy", and he went on his way. My guess is he was initially trying to create a sense of good will (especially if he was a black guy), and thought I dissed him, which wasn't my intention, usually I'm fairly friendly, but wasn't expecting anyone to speak to me that afternoon, to be honest, I really was distracted in my own thoughts. Luckily, he wasn't too miffed, because if he would have angrily or forcefully broken the 3' diameter imaginary radius I use when pumping gas, he would have taken an 87-octane shower to the face, followed up with the nozzle hitting him in the mouth or throat (but like Mike Tyson says, "Everyone has a plan until.... "). SO happy it didn't come to that or anything close.
So, I was thinking about that, plus your encounter with the Men's Room guy. It's entirely possible that he had a bad situation happen to HIM another time in a men's room (a lot of guys are homophobic anyway, and won't talk to anyone inside a men's room, even some people I knew at work for years didn't want to make conversation in there, you just have to know Who's Who). Or, maybe he thought you were going to hit him up for cash, and felt threatened due to the close quarters. Anyway, your guy handled it poorly, he could have simply done what I did at the gas station and defused it (I obviously could have said "F-off, I don't talk to strangers" myself, but then you'd probably have read about the fight and explosion at Shell, LOL). When you challenged him to a fistfight, you made his confirmation bias come true, he'll probably never use a public washroom again.
Anyhoo, I'm bothered less now by my incident since reading and thinking about yours. I recalled Bill's recollection to Kiddo of the legend of Pei Mei and the massacre of all sixty monks of the Shaolin Temple at the fists of the White Lotus, and to be honest, am glad I don't get my gas in China. Did you know that David Carradine misspoke in that scene? He said "One-double-ought-three", but the script was written as, "One-double-eight-three" for the year the legend was born. His mistake made Pei Mei close to a thousand years old instead of the more believable one hundred, but Tarantino kept it in the film. At least so I read, Quentin didn't tell me himself over coffee, much to my chagrin.
Last edited by Curly Q. Bobalink; 06-25-2020 at 11:19 PM..
Curly Q. Bobalink, yes, ANY encounter with another human being can go in any direction. You are right: Had I tried to say something to him in the cafe area versus the men's room COULD have produced a different outcome. I'll never know.
As many years that I've come to Chicago, it has only been in the last year that I had these potentially negative encounters. As you may have read in my other posts, one had to do with me stepping into quash a domestic dispute on the street and one was a mistake of me tapping someone's shoulders to ask a question about the L train schedule... However, those 2 episodes had a real nice ending to the story!
It has to do with trying to just be respectful and pleasant (although obviously that doesn't ALWAYS guarantee anything).
Today at work I had a discussion with a co-worker. I commented how general rules are to not talk about politics, religion, etc. However, I move that people CAN talk about these topics. There IS a way to speak about things if you are willing to be a listener, do not try to push your views, have an open -minded, and can demonstrate some sympathy and empathy. Sometimes, without having to change your views, you can then actually learn something about the world and/or people.
I think as humans we need to work on our patience, our self-control, our ability to empathize, and communicate. HAVE A GREAT FRIDAY, EVERYONE!
Did this guy have a cateract in one eye and stumble while he walks and says random belligerent **** to whoever comes close to him? If so, I dealt with the same one on the Sheridan Red Line platform a couple weeks ago. He said he was going to shoot me. Since he couldn't even see where I'm standing, I'm not sure how he'd manage that.
No, this gentleman did not have any noticeable cataract or other noticeable disabilities.
He was angry that I "only" offered him some breadsticks.
But you know what, once I was riding my bicycle along Halsted and North Avenue, and a guy asked for a handout. I only had a quarter in my own pocket, and I told him that. His response was, "WHAT am I going to do with a quarter?!?"
So in these cases, I guess my chosen attitude is, " Well, ta hell with ya then!"
Maybe it is a combination of a poor upbringing, mental health illness, or whatever. But if a person is asking for a handout and then COMPLAINS about it, that's THEIR problem.
There's this homeless guy who lives in a shelter on our bike trail. I wave to him when I see him sitting there. I saw him sitting outside of a restaurant one day and I asked him if he was hungry and wanted anything. He said no that he was fine. Would I give him money if he had asked? No, I wouldn't, but I'll feed anyone or anything that needs a meal.
I've made up the difference for an elderly man in a grocery store that didn't have enough money for his groceries, and done the same for a man of color that didn't have enough money to pay for his sandwich. I also took this crazy kid of color to my car last winter in 20 degree weather to warm up that was dressed in just a hoodie and no gloves. He was trying to sell candy bars but it was so cold, nobody would talk to him. He was freezing out there. We had a nice conversation and I told him that if I was his mother I'd beat his behind going outside dressed like that in frigid weather. We had a good laugh and I told him to go home, which he said he would. I often think about him. Was what I did risky? Yes, but there comes a time when we just have to step up and treat each other with kindness. You never know how that might be payed forward in return.
Crazy homeless people? They're tricky. Offering to buy that guy a meal might have been a better option than offering just some bread. Your heart was in the right place, but when someone is hungry and struggling? I could see how he saw it as an insult.
Jay, as a former social worker you never know what will happen when you approach a stranger. I am guessing that he was offended that you only offered him a breadstick. I have bought people a meal, given them my leftovers or given money. Sometimes I tell them where the shelters are located. In big cities like Chicago I think people get compassion fatigue from the homeless. Having grown up in Wisconsin I much prefer Milwaukee to Chicago. I know you have a good heart.
Teacher Terry. Good afternoon. We are fellow Social Workers, then!
I have been, in the last 10 years, in the incarcerations system.
I know we are not to project our own value system on others. That said, I feel if I was down on my luck, and someone offered me a breadstick, I would happily take it. Would I want the whole meal? Of course, but if it's between a breadstick or looking through the garbages, I would NOT turn down a breadstick.... but again, that's just MY thinking...
It's good to hear you love my hometown! I think they both have their pros and cons. In a way, that's exactly how LIFE is: always has its ups and downs
Take care, Teacher Terry. And thank you for sharing; both now, and your good work in the past.
Master Jay if you want to hear something strange, some years ago it was probably about ten years ago or so my husband, son and I were walking down the street in Andersonville. There were quite a few people around and it was a nice day. I went up to a man to try to ask him where something was and he pulls out a whistle and blows it as loud as he could. It made an ear piercing sound and of course he never stopped, he was on his way. Which is fine. Obviously he felt threatened by me just trying to ask a question. So really I never try to talk to people when I am out especially in the city. I might make an exception regarding talking to people around where I live because they are more chilled out.
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