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Old 08-06-2013, 08:53 AM
 
Location: Lower east side of Toronto
10,564 posts, read 12,820,368 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TBideon View Post
I can see gay men accepting straight women in gay bars, but do lesbians get ticked off when straight men come into their bars? Maybe they're suspicious of the guys more so than the other situation?

Speaking in generalities of course.
I knew a gay man who hated lesbians. As for lesbian hanging out in large numbers...There a few lesbian baseball teams having a celebration in the bar across the street. I wandered in to have a beer...once I figured out what was going on - I relaxed and enjoyed myself- I had a great time and the woman who were not bitter man haters go along well with me...I would rather be in the company of lesbians than a bar full of gay men. If I could I would have all lesbian friends...Maybe because I am a lesbian born in a man's body...who loves woman in all shapes and sizes....Seriously speaking - I prefer the company of woman- always have.
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Old 08-06-2013, 09:12 AM
 
44 posts, read 75,613 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oleg Bach View Post
I knew a gay man who hated lesbians. As for lesbian hanging out in large numbers...There a few lesbian baseball teams having a celebration in the bar across the street. I wandered in to have a beer...once I figured out what was going on - I relaxed and enjoyed myself- I had a great time and the woman who were not bitter man haters go along well with me...I would rather be in the company of lesbians than a bar full of gay men. If I could I would have all lesbian friends...Maybe because I am a lesbian born in a man's body...who loves woman in all shapes and sizes....Seriously speaking - I prefer the company of woman- always have.
Just so you know, many of us loathe that phrase. Having had the crap kicked out of us, losing family and friends and jobs for being who we are, you have no business using the word. You are simply a straight man.
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Old 08-06-2013, 10:54 AM
 
77 posts, read 152,365 times
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Here is an article about why straight women are often so close with gay men.

In reference to the questions about whether gay guys mind straight girls at gay bars, I don't at all. I don't frequent gay bars much, as I find most of them (the Boystown variety for sure) too cruisy. The scariest bars are always the ones with only gay men, standing around the walls staring at everyone like they're food. I'm more relaxed when the crowd is more mixed. Also, I'm always wanting to see more lesbians at gay bars, because it should be a place for them too.
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Old 08-06-2013, 03:34 PM
 
11,289 posts, read 26,199,461 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RonnieJonez View Post
That dynamic still has a strong novelty factor in the midwest (even more so in the mid-sized cities). They move from a small-town to a bigger city, now they can be fabulous with their gay friends.

While you see do this everywhere, it's probably still a bigger deal in the midwest because of the novelty.
?? It's hardly novelty. I have friends in Cedar Rapids, Iowa where being a girl with gay friends isn't a huge deal or "novelty" and Cedar Rapids is about as boring as the world gets.
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Old 08-06-2013, 03:44 PM
 
11,289 posts, read 26,199,461 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Milesperhour View Post
Here is an article about why straight women are often so close with gay men.

In reference to the questions about whether gay guys mind straight girls at gay bars, I don't at all. I don't frequent gay bars much, as I find most of them (the Boystown variety for sure) too cruisy. The scariest bars are always the ones with only gay men, standing around the walls staring at everyone like they're food. I'm more relaxed when the crowd is more mixed. Also, I'm always wanting to see more lesbians at gay bars, because it should be a place for them too.
I've actually noticed this much more at bars I was at in NYC and LA than I ever have in Chicago. I think Chicago is too obsessed with partying and having fun as opposed to what you're wearing, how you look and obsessed with immediately hooking up. I mean I have friends in Chicago who certainly care about their image and what they're wearing/who they're with, but it was NOTHING like NYC in relative terms. People on the coasts seem to have a lot harder time looking at their friends and talking in gay bars as opposed to just constantly eyeing up every person in the room. Trust me, you'll probably hook up...

I went to a bar in Berlin Germany and it was nothing but 100 guys in leather standing around the room in DEAD SILENCE as porn played in the background. My friend and I just got a strong drink and moved on, haha.

I'm certainly no fashion god, but I also don't dress in crap from wal-mart and my clothes at least fit. I got off a plane once and a friend and I went into one of the gay bars in NYC that's more relaxed/dive bar (we've been a dozen times and have friends there so know the ropes) and I was wearing a hoodie and jeans since I'd just come from the airport and it was January. I had some pizza faced tragic looking kid walk up to me while I was at the bar and say "omg, are you wearing a HOODIE in a bar!?!?". I just gave him a "are you fu**ing kidding me?" look and didn't mention the gargabe he had on or the fact his face looked like a horrible industrial accident. Another time at a different low key bar in NYC some wasted guy was going on and on and on to me how his family was related to the VonTraps or however you spell it from the Sound of Music. I was talking with him laughing my ass off inside at the insane crap he was saying. Then he says "so why are you wearing that shirt? That shirt is SOOOOO ugly". I pointed out he was wearing a dirty baseball cap, a tshirt, jeans and flip flops. I was wearing an everyday button up shirt. I mean good god - i'm there to drink and have fun, I don't give a crap what you're wearing. I can't imagine either of them would ever get picked up anyway.

Last edited by Chicago60614; 08-06-2013 at 03:58 PM..
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Old 08-06-2013, 03:55 PM
 
7,108 posts, read 8,970,936 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DeepLiquid View Post
Just so you know, many of us loathe that phrase. Having had the crap kicked out of us, losing family and friends and jobs for being who we are, you have no business using the word. You are simply a straight man.
I personally am not offended by what Oleg Bach wrote. Thankfully, I've never been beaten up or lost friends, jobs and family because of sexual orientation.
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Old 08-06-2013, 04:29 PM
 
Location: Tampa
285 posts, read 386,065 times
Reputation: 305
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chicago60614 View Post
nd it was nothing but 100 guys in leather standing around the room in DEAD SILENCE as porn played in the background. My friend and I just got a strong drink and moved on, haha.
Interesting synopses. The film "Cruising" with Al Pacino comes to mind.
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Old 08-06-2013, 06:35 PM
 
44 posts, read 75,613 times
Reputation: 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by mjtinmemphis View Post
I personally am not offended by what Oleg Bach wrote. Thankfully, I've never been beaten up or lost friends, jobs and family because of sexual orientation.
You're not a lesbian, no reason for you to be offended at all.
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Old 08-06-2013, 09:30 PM
 
Location: Chicago
332 posts, read 525,092 times
Reputation: 400
Yeah I totally plead guilty to having a lot of straight girl friends. But the people I always try to go out of the way to be appreciative/respectful/thankful towards when I'm in a gay bar are the straight men that are there (and the actually straight, not the DL people--but that's another conversation); because it takes a lot more risk in our society at large for a straight man to walk into a gay bar than a straight woman.
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Old 08-06-2013, 10:42 PM
 
Location: 53179
14,416 posts, read 22,486,250 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DeepLiquid View Post
In general, yes, it's very annoying. But it can depend on why they are there. Just hanging out with lesbian friends, no problem; coming to stare at the young hotties and asking "can I watch" or asking for dates, problem.
Lol.

Sent from my DROID4 using Tapatalk 4
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