Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I had to put my father in a facility several years ago. He passed away recently. He did not need extensive care beyond supervision and assistance getting around. It was around $7200 a month at the end, which was very cheap compared to what I'd been told it would cost. (I was very concerned about this as my father was very physically healthy and could have lived a long time.) Denver is especially expensive, so I was glad to get a spot there. The staff there were lovely, and the facility was maintained wonderfully. My father eventually settled in and had some really happy years there.
My recommendation is to find a dedicated memory care facility, not a "graduated" facility (which includes independant and assisted living as well as locked dementia and full-time care wards). The dedicated facilities seem lower cost to me. Memorycare was the focus of my dad's place and the people got top notch care.
I was the caregiver for my mom and dad. Dad didn't live much longer but mom did.
It's possible but a lot of work. You can hire help. I had health aides, a sitter, visiting nurse, and Visiting Physicians where the doctor and nurse come to the home. I was still busy with their care even with the people I hired. I quit working at 47, 8 years earlier than I planned so SS and my pension took a hit and I had to buy my own insurance.
One good thing is most go to bed when it gets dark. That helps quite a bit. There was no grocery delivery and Amazon wasn't like today so that part would be better now.
Most people who have to go into memory care are only there less than two years. So if the couple has cash-on-hand, they might be able to swing it or perhaps would elect to sell the house to raise the funds.
Most people who have to go into memory care are only there less than two years. So if the couple has cash-on-hand, they might be able to swing it or perhaps would elect to sell the house to raise the funds.
saying most people , doesn’t work as a statistic when we only have two outcomes as humans .
it’s either us that is there more than two years or it isn’t .
which will you be if care is needed ?
so statistics are only meaningful to an insurance company .
if we went by stats none of us would bother with fire insurance or buying term life to protect our family since dying so young is very rare
saying most people , doesn’t work as a statistic when we only have two outcomes as humans .
it’s either us that is there more than two years or it isn’t .
which will you be if care is needed ?
so statistics are only meaningful to an insurance company .
if we went by stats none of us would bother with fire insurance or buying term life to protect our family since dying so young is very rare
People use statistics all the time to make rational and sensible decisions. People die in airplane accidents every year, yet flying is statistically one of the safest firms of travel. Over the long term equities provide higher rates if return than fixed income investments, yet there have been long periods of time where equities under perform other investment options. Surgeries that more often than not save lives can have complications that result in death. The fact that specific individuals will die in plane crashes or fail to reach their goals by investing in equities or die in a surgery doesn’t mean they should necessarily be avoided to protect or insure one’s self from loss. Sometimes the cost of insurance is considered too high for the level of protection it provides against the risks of the possible catastrophic event. The only way one can make an informed decision is to look at the data more broadly.
life insurance companies can pretty much tell us how many people a year will die . they need to know those numbers and plan heavily around them .
but since they can’t tell us who , many have to assume it’s them no matter what the statistics are .
so they buy life insurance despite a 99% chance of it never being paid out because they can’t risk it’s them and they financially destroy their family .
long term care is another example …it doesn’t matter what the average stay is .
all that matters is someone is on the losing side of that statistic. my dad was and he financially devastated his wife when he was in 24/7 care for 5 years
other statistics mean nothing to me , i live in nyc but i don’t ever think about being murdered or mugged or dying in a subway mishap.
i don’t go to areas where the odds are high i will be and so it’s nothing to worry about .
but if i was still working in the hood in brownsville brooklyn i would worry.
so different subjects or areas of our lives have stats taking on different meanings and of course different outcomes if wrong.
when it comes to things like long term care , someone will always be on the wrong side of a statistic and without knowing who , those who want to protect against it being them will do so
Last edited by mathjak107; 04-02-2024 at 10:18 AM..
Most people who have to go into memory care are only there less than two years. So if the couple has cash-on-hand, they might be able to swing it or perhaps would elect to sell the house to raise the funds.
That doesn't take into account the years of home health/companion aid and/or assisted living leading up to their placement into memory care.
Usually, people have symptoms for a number of years, if not a decade or more, before they wind up in memory care.
Sorry about your friend, but the reality is that families are going to have to become multi-generational if we are to survive. The period from about the 1950's through today is a historic anomaly that had never existed at any great scale anywhere else or at any period of time.
And by multi-generational I do mean that it's going to become necessary for families to stack 3 or even 4 generations deep. We should also not shy away from living near siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc.
Multi-generational caretaking does not necessarily mean all living in the same house (although even better if you can), but living within a 5-15 minute drive certainly helps. Living in the same neighborhood is even better.
One of the benefits this would have is that we'd build real neighborhoods, towns and communities again, all replete with those community, family, and family-friend networks that existed in the past.
So yes, Grandma and Grandpa are going to have to watch the little ones while Mom & Dad spend their prime working/earning years eking out a living, saving, and investing for the whole household with an outlook that spans all the generations of the family.
At the same time, all the adults may have to take care of Great-Grandma/pa as she hangs out in the sun on the patio and has her own room and meals brought to her by her descendants instead of a "care" worker who will not care about her and who may not even speak her language.
It's easily done. My family is doing it now in some cases. In other cases we do have one relative who is in a nursing home, but her deceased husband's pension covers the cost fully.
And honestly, we all need to realize that there is an INDUSTRY built around what I will call "almost-death". I'm referring here to hospitals and nursing homes that have every incentive to prolong longevity without increasing quality of life. The Reverse Mortgage industry is another scam that is designed to steal generational wealth from families.
All these industries are built around ripping away those last few dollars that seniors may have stashed away rather than that senior living their last years surrounded by a loving family and passing on a little nest-egg.
Ray hammer, today’s seniors aren’t going to spend their final years providing full time daycare for their grandchildren. Most raised their own kids. Plus it’s too exhausting to take care of babies and toddlers full time.
Retirement is the time for people to travel and do things that they were too busy to do previously. My parents would help out as needed and in return we all helped them stay in their own homes as they aged.
I have helped 4 good friends to stay in their homes. You can provide assistance without giving up your own life. Most older people will need some support but not full time help.
Ray hammer, today’s seniors aren’t going to spend their final years providing full time daycare for their grandchildren. Most raised their own kids. Plus it’s too exhausting to take care of babies and toddlers full time.
Retirement is the time for people to travel and do things that they were too busy to do previously. My parents would help out as needed and in return we all helped them stay in their own homes as they aged.
I have helped 4 good friends to stay in their homes. You can provide assistance without giving up your own life. Most older people will need some support but not full time help.
My family always had multi-generation housing. My 93 year old aunt just died and she had been living with her daughter. My mother moved to be within ten minutes of my sister. It's just the way we do things.
Except . . . My mother's generation had children in their twenties and I had children in my early thirties.
My children are in their early thirties and haven't started families yet.
My grandchildren may not be around until I'm in my seventies. Whereas my grandmother had grandchildren in her fifties. Those twenty years, from 50 to 70, make a big difference.
How you put this genie back into the bottle? Get young adults to marry in their early twenties and produce kids in their mid-to-late twenties?
RayHammer's model is what immigrants use in the US. The middle aged couple brings their young children and their parents who provide free labor with childcare and a family business. The grandparents are happy helping their children/grandchildren while middle aged couple is works to establish life in the US. Particularly in Asian families where familial ties are strong.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
