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I want to respond to the sleep aspect of the thread title.
My husband and I have now been retired for almost four years, and we still haven't figured out the sleep thing. I will go to bed between 10 p.m. and 1 a.m., and my husband will usually stay up beyond that. I will get up at about 7 or 8, but we have a "rule" that I will try to be quiet until 9:00 a.m, but if I don't know what time he finally went to bed, I will let him sleep and then he reprimands me if I don't wake him up before 10. We have SAID that he should just set the alarm based on what time he does go to bed, but he hasn't actually followed through on that.
Just a comment that "the sleep thing" might be a problem for many people in retirement.
I actually have a lot of hobbies and belong to a lot of groups and always have (this is the usual advice given to retirees, along with volunteering). At best, each meets for a couple of hours once a week. One hour per week or even per month is more typical depending on what it is. That's not enough to replace a 40-hour work week, so it leaves you with a lot of time to fill unless you enjoy sitting around doing nothing, which apparently a lot of people do. I even have to commute to mine, which eats up even more time, but that still leaves a lot of dead space. Just be aware of that if you're the type who likes to keep busy and be productive. Also, you can have all the "plans" in the world; they don't always pan out, and reality is sometimes very different. The pandemic and inflation demonstrated that. My advice is NOT to retire unless there's something specific you absolutely want or need to do that necessitates your retirement (babysit 24/7, go back to school full-time, join the Peace Corps, travel the world for a year or three, relocate, etc.). Most other things can be worked around a job, in my experience, especially after the kids, if applicable, have grown up and left home.
My last day of work was a Friday. The next Monday we closed on our new house in a new city. We moved in Tuesday and for the next 2 months we were unpacking, hanging pictures, rearranging furniture and doing all the things needed in a new to you house. By the time we were mostly done (it is never fully done) my job was just a distant memory...
Samesies. Last day of work Friday, movers came Monday morning, we closed the sale of the house Monday at noon time, hit the road for the 700 mile drive to the new house by 2:00. Can't imagine life with a job of any sort anymore.
Sleep schedule really hasn't changed, except that I'll nap whenever I want instead of just at lunch.
I want to respond to the sleep aspect of the thread title.
My husband and I have now been retired for almost four years, and we still haven't figured out the sleep thing. I will go to bed between 10 p.m. and 1 a.m., and my husband will usually stay up beyond that. I will get up at about 7 or 8, but we have a "rule" that I will try to be quiet until 9:00 a.m, but if I don't know what time he finally went to bed, I will let him sleep and then he reprimands me if I don't wake him up before 10. We have SAID that he should just set the alarm based on what time he does go to bed, but he hasn't actually followed through on that.
Just a comment that "the sleep thing" might be a problem for many people in retirement.
We kinda have the same problem, compounded by the fact that we are both bad sleepers. I get hours earlier than DH, and while he has said I can make all the noise I want after 7am, I feel bad if I do. It helps that he usually goes upstairs to finish sleeping. Less noise carries and I get to use the bedroom to get ready or what not.
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In retirement, I might not be super busy on some days, but I sure as heck am not asleep. I "sleep" (that is I'm in bed with the lights off, but I might be awake) from 11ish to 7:30ish. I see no reason to sleep in the day even if I could, which I can't. There are plenty of things to keep me busy.
The fact that so many feel a bit lost in retirement is evidence that we are indeed indoctrinated toward work as a norm, and time to ourselves as an anomaly. I was asked by many at my work about my retirement "plans," I joked that I had no real plan and that my days would be an ad hoc situation for the most part, doing what was necessary, but not burdening myself with needless "busy work" or entertaining some delusionary scenario of everyday golf..
Retirement is life. It's just that simple. And if we are feeling reticent about the loss of structured time, we certainly don't need to create that structure as much as we need to embrace that loss. Kids know all too well the freedom of just winging it through the day. But as we move through the daily rigors of adult responsibility, child raising, paying the bills etc. we begin to adjust ourselves into the saddle, or, become the saddle for others to sit on while commanding our time.
I've been retired for seventeen years and still wake up relieved that I no longer need to get up and run from the house, that I have no one to tell me what I'll be doing all day, that I can arise at eight and drink coffee until eleven, relaxed, healthy, content. I have plenty of interests that keep me going but all are things of MY choosing, playing guitar, reading, photography, traveling. So yes, we could just sleep in if we want, or get up at four to get that early morning photo of the winter sunrise, or arise on a summer morning and have coffee on the patio, it's our time and that's the beauty of this freedom, time is all we really own, spend it wisely..
I was not "indoctrinated." I simply enjoy and see the value in working; always have. The fact that you feel "relieved" not to have to get up and go to your job anymore tells me it was a negative experience for you. It wasn't and isn't for everyone.
I was not "indoctrinated." I simply enjoy and see the value in working; always have. The fact that you feel "relieved" not to have to get up and go to your job anymore tells me it was a negative experience for you. It wasn't and isn't for everyone.
Then go get a job! Everyone and their uncle is hiring.
I liked working, and I like retirement.
90% of life is learning to enjoy the hear and now, OR, changing it so you are happy.
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The thing is this... how well you retire depends on your personality and lifestyle.
I have a friend who works a lot... runs his own business and is very good at it. He will complain about work everytime, but reality is that he likes being productive. When he is off, he literally can't sit down or stand still. He is of the type that will not retire well.
Me on the other hand will retire really well. Sure I love being productive. But when it hits 5pm and I rush home I am happy to do literally nothing productive. I can watch tv, surf the web, read a book, figure out how to fix the ducting... etc.
When my "productive" friend talks... he often talks about work. Me on the other hand almost NEVER talk about work.
I don't hate my job. I'm good at it and there are a lot of responsibilities, it's interesting and I deal with a lot of cool products, etc. But it does not define me at all.
I'd much rather talk about fishing, boating, working out, the efficiency of solar power, whether or not Bigfoot likes spinach....
I was not "indoctrinated." I simply enjoy and see the value in working; always have. The fact that you feel "relieved" not to have to get up and go to your job anymore tells me it was a negative experience for you. It wasn't and isn't for everyone.
If you're so darn bored, then as Mikala said, go get a job. If no one will hire you, then create a job for yourself. There are always niches for creative outlets that should provide you with opportunities for either a business or even a non-profit venture if that's more your inclination. Continually whingeing on about how much you're bored in retirement isn't providing you with a fulfilling life, so change things up. What have you got to lose?
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