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Going to try the Presbyterian church, USA and Episcopal church.I want a church that will welcome my whole family.)
Offhand and overall, I think you'll have better luck overall with the Episcopal church, but you may be uncomfortable with "high church" liturgy. Both of those denominations (particularly the Presbys) tend toward a more affluent / privileged membership, which may be an uncomfortable vibe for, say, someone who's working class. But if you're prioritizing welcoming for all, then hopefully you're willing to, e.g., stand and sit 47 times during a stem-winding 1.5 hour Eurcharist with the Episcopaleans, etc. (I'm not really knocking it, I found aspects of it lovely, and the stand-and-sit stuff is mostly my bad back talking, lol).
Keep in mind however that these places are usually less annoyed if you don't attend services regularly, than what you may perhaps be used to ... I think you could pick and choose to an extent what activities / classes / events you want to be part of.
Offhand and overall, I think you'll have better luck overall with the Episcopal church, but you may be uncomfortable with "high church" liturgy. Both of those denominations (particularly the Presbys) tend toward a more affluent / privileged membership, which may be an uncomfortable vibe for, say, someone who's working class. But if you're prioritizing welcoming for all, then hopefully you're willing to, e.g., stand and sit 47 times during a stem-winding 1.5 hour Eurcharist with the Episcopaleans, etc. (I'm not really knocking it, I found aspects of it lovely, and the stand-and-sit stuff is mostly my bad back talking, lol).
Keep in mind however that these places are usually less annoyed if you don't attend services regularly, than what you may perhaps be used to ... I think you could pick and choose to an extent what activities / classes / events you want to be part of.
Good luck!
Bit of an exaggeration. Most Episcopal services are done in an hour, if you don't count the coffee time afterward. Also, the perception of wealthy Episcopalians is outdated. Maybe still 50 years ago, not now.
But yes, the liturgical churches are not for everyone. I like ritual, and I preferred solemnity over happy-clappy, but for many, it's often the opposite.
I'm wondering if there are any *gay people* here who attend church and might like to share their church experience ...?
* I don't much care for 'labels' but used here for the sake of this thread topic.
We have had a few in the past, as well as a trans person who shared her Christian journey very candidy.
And of course there is the long-running thread that was begun by a young man whose family and church forced him into conversion therapy and then shunned him when he found he could not change.
Going to try the Presbyterian church, USA and Episcopal church.I want a church that will welcome my whole family.)
Honest question, but how is your whole family NOT being welcomed to any other church? Do they stop you at the door and tell you your 8 year old can't come in?
Honest question, but how is your whole family NOT being welcomed to any other church? Do they stop you at the door and tell you your 8 year old can't come in?
In the school where I was vice-principal, we had a front office secretary whose attention to parents and other visitors changed drastically depending on the race or status of the visitor. If it was one of the central office people she would fall all over them to make them feel welcome and attended to. if it was a white parent, they would get very prompt attention. If it was a Black or Latino parents, they might stand at the front counter for a couple of minutes before even being acknowledged.
It doesn't always have to be something direct that let's you know if you are welcome or not.
But to add a church story to my post, I had a very senior female neighbor who was very involved in her methodist church. She would often invite me to special events at the church, although never push in any way. During general conversations, if we talking about African-Americans, she would always refer to them as "colored". My sense was that it was simply due to the era in which she grew up, but I wondered. One day I attended an event at her church where she was the greeter. A "new" Black family came to the event, and I watched to see how my greeter-friend greeted them. They couldn't have felt more welcomed. She went out of her way to be friendly with them, to chat with them, to introduce them to some other church members, and so forth.
Bit of an exaggeration. Most Episcopal services are done in an hour, if you don't count the coffee time afterward. Also, the perception of wealthy Episcopalians is outdated. Maybe still 50 years ago, not now.
But yes, the liturgical churches are not for everyone. I like ritual, and I preferred solemnity over happy-clappy, but for many, it's often the opposite.
Agreed, I think the upper-crust patina sticks more to the Presbys these days, usually anyway.
I don't think happy-clappy is the only alternative to high church; I think there's some middle ground that subtracts the costumes / formulas and liturgy handbooks without necessarily selling the organ and buying a bunch of guitars. It's a spectrum. Often, larger churches even offer a modern/traditional service choice.
I was mostly hyperbolizing about the Episcopal services here;I found it lovely and a little annoying at the same time. Probably would get used to it if I were motivated. It did run over an hour though for the service proper. That may have not been typical; I only went there once.
Agreed, I think the upper-crust patina sticks more to the Presbys these days, usually anyway.
I don't think happy-clappy is the only alternative to high church; I think there's some middle ground that subtracts the costumes / formulas and liturgy handbooks without necessarily selling the organ and buying a bunch of guitars. It's a spectrum. Often, larger churches even offer a modern/traditional service choice.
I was mostly hyperbolizing about the Episcopal services here;I found it lovely and a little annoying at the same time. Probably would get used to it if I were motivated. It did run over an hour though for the service proper. That may have not been typical; I only went there once.
Yes, the church I grew up in, (Reformed Church of America) while emphasizing sin, death, and hell, had much better music than the Episcopalians, even if it was still the organ. Peppier, catchier tunes. But no seasonal colors, fancy robes, and communion was a quarterly sidebar.
A lot of Episcopal traditions come from old English Pagan practices. They freely admit it, too. In fact, when a friend of mine was ordained as a deacon, one of her sponsors, a person who has given you spiritual guidance, was a Wiccan friend of hers.
And another Episcopalian woman I know posted a picture and poem about Brigid, the fertility/spring goddess (now known as St. Brigid) on her FB page Feb 2.
I don't get this whole business. Who someone is sleeping with is no one else's business. So why would it even come up if a gay person, a bi person, a heterosexual person etc went to any church? Are they going to proclaim their sexual preference up there on the alter so that everyone knows? No matter what a church says their policies are or are not, the people in it are individuals who go by their own moral compass. You can't change that, it's their personal preference.
A lot of us have had all manner of "different" sexual experiences in our early years. I'm not gong to tell people in a church about the hooker I picked up in Reno, the woman I slept w/ that was my best friend's wife, or that crazy night in a New Orleans bar at 3 AM when I was in that restroom w/ someone who sure looked like a woman! Who knew?
Am I going to go to Ace Hardware for a saw and say I want everyone in the store to know that I'm gay just to see if they will sell me that saw? Trust me, they could care less. Why is a church any different? If anything, a church is a place where you keep your business in your pocket.
These "different" examples are all made up of course (probably), but you and I know that people do these things, and more, 24/7. None of it has any bearing about attending a church. If I were gay, I would have enough sense to not go around proclaiming it in a Southern Baptist church for sure, but why would I need to reveal it to anyone at any time?
There is no reason to do it.
Last edited by stephenMM; 02-23-2024 at 11:16 AM..
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