Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I had an old HS friend visit me not that long ago....and I was at times envious of her...not majorly...but a tad.
She's getting close to finishing college and she always shows herself having fun online at college, talks about how great her career choices will be online, she is so smart and earning good grades. She's tall, beautiful blonde hair, she knows how to do makeup and she can bake well. It feels like she has a certain freedom and capability that I don't have as a young stay at home mom.
When she came over she had so much fun with my two boys and after awhile she broke down about how lucky I am...that she is miserable and doesn't like her major...but wants to get out of college so she won't change her major...her parents are starting to cut her off financially...her bf is on and off and stressing her out. She told me that she was jealous of me having a stable husband, stable finances, that I am fit and can find time to eat right and do aerobics, she thinks she's put on weight...she really hasn't... and my boys being cute...
I think the lesson is that both of us need to focus more on our positives that we already have, rather than what we don't have.
So weird for us each to think the other has it better....
I had an old HS friend visit me not that long ago....and I was at times envious of her...not majorly...but a tad.
She's getting close to finishing college and she always shows herself having fun online at college, talks about how great her career choices will be online, she is so smart and earning good grades. She's tall, beautiful blonde hair, she knows how to do makeup and she can bake well. It feels like she has a certain freedom and capability that I don't have as a young stay at home mom.
When she came over she had so much fun with my two boys and after awhile she broke down about how lucky I am...that she is miserable and doesn't like her major...but wants to get out of college so she won't change her major...her parents are starting to cut her off financially...her bf is on and off and stressing her out. She told me that she was jealous of me having a stable husband, stable finances, that I am fit and can find time to eat right and do aerobics, she thinks she's put on weight...she really hasn't... and my boys being cute...
I think the lesson is that both of us need to focus more on our positives that we already have, rather than what we don't have.
So weird for us each to think the other has it better....
You think she has it better? She is a tall and beautiful blonde, you said. What is that to you? You are not a man to whom that would matter.
Honestly, who has it better? You or her? From a religious and spiritual point of view, I mean.
I had an old HS friend visit me not that long ago....and I was at times envious of her...not majorly...but a tad.
She's getting close to finishing college and she always shows herself having fun online at college, talks about how great her career choices will be online, she is so smart and earning good grades. She's tall, beautiful blonde hair, she knows how to do makeup and she can bake well. It feels like she has a certain freedom and capability that I don't have as a young stay at home mom.
When she came over she had so much fun with my two boys and after awhile she broke down about how lucky I am...that she is miserable and doesn't like her major...but wants to get out of college so she won't change her major...her parents are starting to cut her off financially...her bf is on and off and stressing her out. She told me that she was jealous of me having a stable husband, stable finances, that I am fit and can find time to eat right and do aerobics, she thinks she's put on weight...she really hasn't... and my boys being cute...
I think the lesson is that both of us need to focus more on our positives that we already have, rather than what we don't have.
So weird for us each to think the other has it better....
It's all relative.
Sometimes I think I have too much, when I see people with less.
Other times I think differently when surrounded by those that have more.
I don't think it's a contest of who has it better or worse.
There are pros and cons to both of those life paths. More to the point, there are challenges to both paths that don't exist on the other one, so it's easy to imagine a life absent your challenges while overlooking the actual tradeoffs.
One thing I will say to QB though is that the college track isn't what it used to be. It depends somewhat on the major, but jobs can be scarce, hours long, employers demanding and exploitive, actual jobs insecure. And college costs a lot more than it used to, especially if you're pushed away from lower status state universities and into private or ivy league situations. IMO more young folks should be looking at apprenticeships and trades as a way to learn while you earn, rather than run up a huge debt burden.
One thing my wife determined, was that she could not "have it all". She could be earning high six figures by now in some large corporate setting -- her last salaried role was a VP at a utility company. But she could not bear to see those two little faces watching her leave in her power suit every morning, and she quit just a few months in to be present for her children. She comes from a family where 3 or 4 generations of women have already been college educated and gone on to professional roles, so she second guesses that decision to this day but I always affirm it. QB, yours is a noble calling, even if not particularly in fashion these days. Anything worth doing is worth doing right. And you are on track to make that happen.
The flip side of that feelgood story about my wife is that neither of her kids are exactly returning that dedication and respect or showing good appreciation for it and that can be a heartbreak. As your kids grow, don't have 100% of your identity invested in them or in particular outcomes because there are no guarantees. As they become more self sufficient, you need to develop your own relationships and interests accordingly.
I don't think it's a contest of who has it better or worse.
There are pros and cons to both of those life paths. More to the point, there are challenges to both paths that don't exist on the other one, so it's easy to imagine a life absent your challenges while overlooking the actual tradeoffs.
One thing I will say to QB though is that the college track isn't what it used to be. It depends somewhat on the major, but jobs can be scarce, hours long, employers demanding and exploitive, actual jobs insecure. And college costs a lot more than it used to, especially if you're pushed away from lower status state universities and into private or ivy league situations. IMO more young folks should be looking at apprenticeships and trades as a way to learn while you earn, rather than run up a huge debt burden.
One thing my wife determined, was that she could not "have it all". She could be earning high six figures by now in some large corporate setting -- her last salaried role was a VP at a utility company. But she could not bear to see those two little faces watching her leave in her power suit every morning, and she quit just a few months in to be present for her children. She comes from a family where 3 or 4 generations of women have already been college educated and gone on to professional roles, so she second guesses that decision to this day but I always affirm it. QB, yours is a noble calling, even if not particularly in fashion these days. Anything worth doing is worth doing right. And you are on track to make that happen.
The flip side of that feelgood story about my wife is that neither of her kids are exactly returning that dedication and respect or showing good appreciation for it and that can be a heartbreak. As your kids grow, don't have 100% of your identity invested in them or in particular outcomes because there are no guarantees. As they become more self sufficient, you need to develop your own relationships and interests accordingly.
In my opinion, motherhood is the only calling for a person with a female body. It ovulates and lactates for what other purpose than fulfilling the plan of Nature?
In my opinion, motherhood is the only calling for a person with a female body. It ovulates and lactates for what other purpose than fulfilling the plan of Nature?
Does that mean fatherhood is the only calling for a person with a male body?
Keep away from prohibited things and you will be the best of worshipers.
Be content with what Allah has given you, and you will be the richest of people.
Be good to your neighbor and you will be a true believer.
Love for other people what you love for yourself and you will be a (perfect) Muslim.
Do not laugh too much, for excessive laughter deadens the heart.
In all seriousness, obviously being a stay-at-home mom works great for some families, like QB’s. I won’t say I didn’t appreciate having my mom stay at home when my brother and I grew up. On the other hand, it would have been nice if my father, who was an excellent provider but a raging workaholic, had been more physically and emotionally present.
My mother being in the workforce probably wouldn’t have changed much in my childhood situation, since her earning potential was not (and probably never would have been) all that high. But I can tell you that having a working wife who contributes around one-third of our combined household income takes a lot of pressure off and allows me to be far more present and engaged as a parent than my father ever was. And because she works 36-hour weeks (and the benefit of never taking her work home with her) she has even more time to be present and engaged as a mother.
Quote:
Originally Posted by myuen2
No. A person with a male body can be many things. Fatherhood is an unnatural calling.
Oh, this is adorable. Please tell me more.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
