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Stay safe. I have been on a run of deaths of family and friends since December 2019. Latest was a brother-in-law last week. I am also caregiving for my dying bf. He is dying as he lived--procrastinating, on his own schedule, not following doctors' predictions. . Dark humor, it's not really funny but it is the only way to get through the days.
I do not have the sense of evil nearby, though.
I’m so sorry about DBF And I thought your joke was funny and life-affirming: you wouldn’t have made it if you thought that DBF wouldn’t appreciate it (and I certainly did!).
I guess when I say “evil” I mean the deaths that seem to have increased but, also, the change that I’ve seen in people recently: at least where I am, I have noticed a new lack of kindness, generosity and empathy in the people around me, which is (I think) definitely due to the pandemic as well as the fear caused by the current political atmosphere. What is strange to me is that a I didn’t notice any of this during the pandemic; it seemed to rear its ugly head when things “returned to normal.”
Now that I think about it, I guess everyone has been circling their wagons and preparing their lifeboats, which means that I must do the same.
I’m so sorry about DBF And I thought your joke was funny and life-affirming: you wouldn’t have made it if you thought that DBF wouldn’t appreciate it (and I certainly did!).
I guess when I say “evil” I mean the deaths that seem to have increased but, also, the change that I’ve seen in people recently: at least where I am, I have noticed a new lack of kindness, generosity and empathy in the people around me, which is (I think) definitely due to the pandemic as well as the fear caused by the current political atmosphere. What is strange to me is that a I didn’t notice any of this during the pandemic; it seemed to rear its ugly head when things “returned to normal.”
Now that I think about it, I guess everyone has been circling their wagons and preparing their lifeboats, which means that I must do the same.
I am experiencing the opposite, since I am a lifelong resident of New Jersey currently living in Ontario, Canada. The other day I went to the post office here, which is on the main drag of the TO suburb in which I am staying. I needed to make a left, and there was a long line of cars coming the other way, so I threw on my blinker and settled back to let the string of cars pass...and some woman stopped dead with the line of cars behind her and waved for me to make my left.
Absolutely remarkable! And nobody behind her leaned on their horn, either!
... at least where I am, I have noticed a new lack of kindness, generosity and empathy in the people around me, which is (I think) definitely due to the pandemic as well as the fear caused by the current political atmosphere.
Yes we are in a polarized environment, especially politically (and because of the intertwining of politics and religion, also religiously).
I think it is a period of adjustment. People are disillusioned and looking to fix blame. Eventually they will have to quit looking for scapegoats but in the meantime we have to put up with the recriminations. At some point hopefully they will realize "we have met the enemy, and it is us".
Quote:
Originally Posted by StarlaJane
What is strange to me is that a I didn’t notice any of this during the pandemic; it seemed to rear its ugly head when things “returned to normal.”
I think that for an unsustainable time the pandemic provided a way to largely avoid the realities of the situation; now we're back in unavoidable contact with each other, including our bosses and coworkers in jobs we don't particularly enjoy, etc.
Ultimately that the chickens have come home to roost and give us a dose of reality is a good thing because that's the opening for us to change our ways. But in the short run it is challenging.
Stay safe. I have been on a run of deaths of family and friends since December 2019. Latest was a brother-in-law last week. I am also caregiving for my dying bf. He is dying as he lived--procrastinating, on his own schedule, not following doctors' predictions. . Dark humor, it's not really funny but it is the only way to get through the days.
I do not have the sense of evil nearby, though.
Dear MQ, I am so sorry about your brother-in-law. It's just too much sometimes. Hugs to you, my friend.
Dear MQ, I am so sorry about your brother-in-law. It's just too much sometimes. Hugs to you, my friend.
Thanks. I have three sisters. Two of us are doing long-term caregiving with husbands/partners who are suffering from debilitating illnesses. Then a couple of months ago, the youngest sister's husband starts peeing blood, turns out to have bladder cancer, starts treatment, and just went downhill. Got infections, kidneys shut down, and then his heart just stopped. BAM. He's gone.
Doesn't feel like any sort of curse, though. Just feels like this might be what life is going to be now that I'm in my mid-60s, and I should probably get used to life being more about death than not, I guess.
Doesn't feel like any sort of curse, though. Just feels like this might be what life is going to be now that I'm in my mid-60s, and I should probably get used to life being more about death than not, I guess.
It does get truer as you get older. Sometimes even without that. We lost three people in 2019 alone on our street, and one of them was in her 40s. All of them involved cancer.
Right now my father in law hangs in the balance, trying to recover from his 2nd stroke and now has covid, caught apparently from his physical therapist. He's 88. They had trouble finding anyone to help tend to him, given the covid.
One gets used to it. One has to. When you're old there seems to be a production line of maladies always in the pipeline, but there are always also things to appreciate. I try to focus on those. It is very much a learned skill for this born pessimist, but an important one.
It does get truer as you get older. Sometimes even without that. We lost three people in 2019 alone on our street, and one of them was in her 40s. All of them involved cancer.
Right now my father in law hangs in the balance, trying to recover from his 2nd stroke and now has covid, caught apparently from his physical therapist. He's 88. They had trouble finding anyone to help tend to him, given the covid.
One gets used to it. One has to. When you're old there seems to be a production line of maladies always in the pipeline, but there are always also things to appreciate. I try to focus on those. It is very much a learned skill for this born pessimist, but an important one.
Same here. There are things to be grateful for, and I bear them in mind. Sometimes they are small things, like the kingfisher with her rattling call I've been spotting on my daily walks past a beautiful creek. Do you know that unlike most birds, the female kingfisher, not the male, is the one with the more colorful plumage?
And today I had purple finches come by out back where I toss seed every morning.
Outside of a terminally friend and one dying last March. I think my worst years were 2020 and 2021. Having to go through a hysterectomy in 2020 followed by the rehab from hell and buying a fixer condo with our friends. Twenty twenty two was a piece of cake. Next year will be sad with our best neighbors moving and our friend closing his shop behind us. We put in a special door bell on our back gate just for him. He will be totally out by April. My friend will leave us in the next couple of months. She has stage 4 pancreatic cancer.
Come to think of it 2018 and 2019 were pretty bad too. Five months of agony with my broken arm and wrist and having to suspend therapy to go work on the rental. My dog died too. Then my cat who was only 5 in 2019.
I guess 2022 was pretty peaceful in comparison to the last 4 years.
Same here. There are things to be grateful for, and I bear them in mind. Sometimes they are small things, like the kingfisher with her rattling call I've been spotting on my daily walks past a beautiful creek. Do you know that unlike most birds, the female kingfisher, not the male, is the one with the more colorful plumage?
And today I had purple finches come by out back where I toss seed every morning.
I am experiencing the opposite, since I am a lifelong resident of New Jersey currently living in Ontario, Canada. The other day I went to the post office here, which is on the main drag of the TO suburb in which I am staying. I needed to make a left, and there was a long line of cars coming the other way, so I threw on my blinker and settled back to let the string of cars pass...and some woman stopped dead with the line of cars behind her and waved for me to make my left.
Absolutely remarkable! And nobody behind her leaned on their horn, either!
Yeah, I’m definitely not experiencing that here.
Case in point: I went to the drive-thru pharmacy a couple of weeks ago. As I approached the line of cars, I noticed a car to the right of the line of cars (it looked like she was in the prescription drop off lane) but she hadn’t pulled up to it, she was just sitting there in her car, so I thought nothing of it. Then as soon as I had pulled in and was behind the second car in line, she honked her horn. I looked up and she yelled, very rudely, “Excuse me, but I was trying to get in [line].” I was really confused because the way she had positioned her car gave no indication that she had planned to get in line. I didn’t move my vehicle because she was driving a huge SUV that would have required me to unsafely back up into someone potentially coming around the corner to get in line. As soon as she realized that I wasn’t going to move, she yelled, “RUDE” at me at the top of her lungs.
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. Dark humor, it's not really funny but it is the only way to get through the days.
And I thought your joke was funny and life-affirming: you wouldn’t have made it if you thought that DBF wouldn’t appreciate it 
