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NJ is one of the most gay friendly states- all the states in New England are as well- even 'pale blue New Hampshire' is much more progressive with its laws then PA- which for a NE state has very regressive laws protecting gay citizens.
Philly and to a less degree Pittsburgh are liberal islands in a state that is not gay friendly.
NJ is one of the most gay friendly states- all the states in New England are as well- even 'pale blue New Hampshire' is much more progressive with its laws then PA- which for a NE state has very regressive laws protecting gay citizens.
Philly and to a less degree Pittsburgh are liberal islands in a state that is not gay friendly.
I couldn't have said it any better myself. For an overwhelmingly Democratic state, Pennsylvania is quite literally a living hell for not only gays, but also various other minorities as well. I'm only staying here to find my one true love and establish roots because I see potential in how the thousands of New Yorkers flooding into our area annually for relocation may hopefully someday outnumber the local, uneducated, native rednecks who have nothing better to do than go on "witch hunts" for "dem der ****." I can't tell you how many people would give my ex and I dirty looks when I'd treat him to a romantic dinner at nice restaurants here in Scranton, and while walking hand-in-hand along a romantic vista overlooking the Delaware River in Monroe County, we were scowled at by a passing straight couple (who were also holding hands ironically, furthermore proving that many straight people are the "do as I say; not as I do" crowd!)
I see how NY and NJ are so much more "Progressive" than PA, even banning cell phone usage while driving and banning smoking in public establishments (both of which would be shot down by 99% of voters if put on a ballot here in PA!) It seems anymore as if I'm the only "educated" person living here in Scranton; all of my gay intellectual comrades have fled to "safer" pastures, leaving the few open ones of us left here in the metro to contend with the pitchforks! Now that NJ has become the second state to permit gay marriage (behind MA), and the fourth to offer the same legal benefits to same-sex couples (behind MA, VT, and CT), I'm beginning to think more and more about ditching my plans to want to "bring Scranton back", in favor of moving to an area where people read, don't beat their wives every night, don't "hang out at da bar" everyday after work for hours (before driving home), and aren't so downright nasty!
I just don't know what to do; I'll be graduating college in two years with a highly-demanded degree, so the sky is the limit for relocation options. The only reason I'm staying in Scranton is because of my noble "those who have the power to rebuild a city should put their abilities to good use" type of mentality that basically forbids me from just "abandoning" it. It's always been a dream of mine to help re-invent our backwards city so that future generations of gay youth won't have to contend with the same depressing, self-loathing, rage-filled bouts that I often have towards the locals. However, I'm now starting to see that perhaps it's just not possible, given how "simple" my fellow local residents are overall.
Cape May, Asbury Park and Collingswood that I know of.
I grew up in the Collingswood, NJ area and Collingswood has become very gay friendly over the past 10 years. Also the surrounding towns - Westmont, NJ and Haddon Township, NJ. The main street in Collingswood has just undergone a "makeover" thanks to several gay-owned business (I'm told by family & friends) and its very nice there. I lived in NJ for many years... and in my experience, and in my circle of friends, NO ONE CARES IF YOU ARE GAY OR NOT !!! A family is a family, a couple is a couple, its Y O U R biz. Period.
Another area that I know of is New Hope, PA area, and the surrounding towns.
I can fully understand how you feel ScrantonWilkesBarre.
Mature gay man here in Connecticut- the amount of tolerance here is pretty amazing. I think about 20 years ago in Hartford when I walked out of a gay bar in Hartford- was I called a 'fa***t' by a group of young punks driving by in a car- that is my only negative experience here-long time ago. In going into a restaurant here with a gay bud- I would never have fears of hateful people. People are unconcerned here-
It am sorry that PA is behind the curve on gay issues- but change takes time- and I understand your feeling of wanting to stay and make a difference.
Recently my neighbor lady friend next door moved to Carlisle PA. She sold her townhouse here and made a huge profit- and under the urging of her daughter bought a house there. Well she is very liberal- has worked with AIDS patients, and was having second thoughts when on a visit to that area people said she 'talked funny'-- New England accent I suppose.
In any case I live 51 miles from Providence RI -very gay city-has an openly gay mayor- The New England states are the most progressive states in the USA. Hartford is very liberal as is New Haven- CT is very gay friendly and liberal.
Also my parents where both born near Pittsburgh -so I have PA roots. I was born in DC-but have lived in CT since I was 6. After listening to you I feel grateful I live here- and hopefully never take for granted the feelings of peace I have here. Good luck in the future.
Last edited by Dragondog; 10-31-2006 at 03:29 PM..
highland park new jersey!! walk to new brunswick, ny train, many lesbians and their children, great schools, cute houses and nice old fashioned down town. kingston, also great, next door princeton and cute shops and homes, ny bus.
i live in kearny near quite a few gays and they all are fitting in and noone really bothers anyone at all. nothing bad really happens there, and the schools are great too.
I think the term "gay-friendly" is quite subjective. To one person, it can mean an area with a high concentration of gay-owned businesses and gay bars, or an area with a large gay population where people will think nothing and say nothing of two men or two women being openly affectionate with one another. To another person, it may mean an area by which gay people are afforded more rights and protections under the law than they are elsewhere; places with domestic partner benefits and such. To yet another person, it may mean something more basic as others have stated, which is just the desire to be treated the same as everyone else. There's no desire to be treated specially, just to not be harassed simply for being gay which is basically, just common courtesy. I think if the latter viewpoint applies, most all of New Jersey is gay-friendly. Most people don't care and they're not going to distribute anti-gay flyers or try to "save" you or refuse to let you near their children and those sort of things. Similarly, from a legal standpoint, New Jersey is one of the most gay-friendly states in the nation in terms of the protection it offers and polls have shown New Jerseyians to be more accepting of homosexuality and gay rights than the majority of Americans elsewhere.
Not Caring is part of the problem. I happen to care about my neighbors and they frequently come to me and share a multitude of problems that is directly related to who they are including their sexuality. So kindly don't be so dismissive toward people who are gay who are saying they are not feeling this diversity and gay friendliness. I could care less if you accept me. that is like white people telling black people to get over 4 centuries of oppression and the horror their ancestors went through should not be effecting them today. I do not need your approval and i am the gay person telling you to stop justifying and rationalizing your agenda by trying to silence gay people from expressing themselves. Why don't you go in a closet and then come out of one. The whole concept is insulting. And finally those great legal rulings you speak of were long and hard fought. Minorities have never gotten their rights by the kindness of straight white men and will continue hauling everyone into the courts to demand equality and shove the hypocricy back in their faces. We are decades ahead of you. Our holocaust happened within our lifetimes and years and years before 9/11. So show some respect to the people who have the wisdom to teach the lessons of love and acceptance and if you backstab us, we will follow suit immediately.
If you are looking for a unique communities in the NY/NJ Metro are, I would consider Metuchen and South Amboy. Metuchen has a brimming eclectic down town and is very liberal.
South Amboy is another community that is slowly being discovered due to its unique waterfront development known as Lighthouse Bay and transit service to NY and and the Jersey Shore, but not just by the gay community - though it is friendly from what I understand - realize its a diamond in the rough.
We have friends that are couples in both communities and they only have the best things to say with regard to both towns!
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For an overwhelmingly Democratic state, Pennsylvania is quite literally a living hell for not only gays, but also various other minorities as well. 
I'm only staying here to find my one true love and establish roots because I see potential in how the thousands of New Yorkers flooding into our area annually for relocation may hopefully someday outnumber the local, uneducated, native rednecks who have nothing better to do than go on "witch hunts" for "dem der ****." I can't tell you how many people would give my ex and I dirty looks when I'd treat him to a romantic dinner at nice restaurants here in Scranton, and while walking hand-in-hand along a romantic vista overlooking the Delaware River in Monroe County, we were scowled at by a passing straight couple (who were also holding hands ironically, furthermore proving that many straight people are the "do as I say; not as I do" crowd!) 
Now that NJ has become the second state to permit gay marriage (behind MA), and the fourth to offer the same legal benefits to same-sex couples (behind MA, VT, and CT), I'm beginning to think more and more about ditching my plans to want to "bring Scranton back", in favor of moving to an area where people read, don't beat their wives every night, don't "hang out at da bar" everyday after work for hours (before driving home), and aren't so downright nasty! 
gay friendly towns
