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Wondering what you would personally consider appropriate to wear at a funeral.
Of course, jeans, anything too short and bright colors are out. But, what about grey, navy or brown?
Would you wear a hat? And what about shoes (stilettos and sneakers are not appropriate) but what about wearing comfortable looking shoes or boots. Would that be considered too casual?
What kind of coat (if held at winter)? I'm thinking you can't wear a down coat no matter how cold it is. And if raining are only black umbrellas appropriate?
Agree with this. Something conservative and low key. However, I once attended a funeral where it was specifically requested that we wear festive clothing/colors. It was nice.
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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It depends on the circumstances. A formal church funeral with procession to the cemetery is still going to be shirt and tie, or at least business casual, though less common. More often we have experienced the "memorial" which is more of a celebration of the deceased's life, with jeans and tees fine, even shorts if held outdoors. The last 3 we have been to were memorials, the last and one next weekend outdoors.
As a guy, I have usually worn my darkest grey suit. I don't buy black suits unless it's a tuxedo, which is not appropriate.
For women, anything black or dark gray is first choice. Deep navy next.
Conservative and minimal to no patterns - basically don't look like you're trying to be the spotlight. As a guy, I skip extras like pocket squares or tie clips for the same reason.
Wondering what you would personally consider appropriate to wear at a funeral.
Of course, jeans, anything too short and bright colors are out. But, what about grey, navy or brown?
Would you wear a hat? And what about shoes (stilettos and sneakers are not appropriate) but what about wearing comfortable looking shoes or boots. Would that be considered too casual?
What kind of coat (if held at winter)? I'm thinking you can't wear a down coat no matter how cold it is. And if raining are only black umbrellas appropriate?
Have you been to a funeral lately? I have seen lots of t-shirts, shorts, plenty of people in sneakers, etc. Jeans and a pullover shirt are as dressy as some people get. Personally, I find it a little tacky, but some people don't know any better, and some don't have any better. Ultimately, their presence is what is most important.
Interesting how death and mourning traditions change over time. In the Victorian era mourners, and especially widows, wore plain black clothing and sometimes black veils for a prescribed time period, depending on who died. There were social norms of how to dress and behave after a death.
I've only been to one memorial, a "life celebration" that was casual and more of a party in honor of the deceased. Food, cash bar, a slide show showing pictures of the deceased and his family throughout life, and anyone was welcome to stand up and share some memories. Sure it was still sad, but more of a 'good sad' rather than being stuffy and formal.
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