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I have also been to more casual wakes and funerals. And, if they specifically say to be casual, I don't dress up the same. If someone does not note anything about dress code, I typically will wear a dark suit.
But I completely agree that some people specify casual and when that is the case, I respect their family's wishes because that is who we are honoring anyway!
Yes, it almost seems just as disrespectful to wear somber clothing if they want it to be a lighthearted celebration.
I have also been to more casual wakes and funerals. And, if they specifically say to be casual, I don't dress up the same. If someone does not note anything about dress code, I typically will wear a dark suit.
But I completely agree that some people specify casual and when that is the case, I respect their family's wishes because that is who we are honoring anyway!
If in doubt you can get away with dark trousers, a shirt and blazer. That's casual enough for "casual" but wouldn't really look out of place at any funeral.
Let's be honest, unless you turn up in a clown suit it's unlikely what you wear is really going to be noticed all that much.
I went to high school with several cousins whose fathers were owners of a local funeral home. The cousins were all very involved in a sport whose competitions were after school (vs. evenings like you’d have with football or basketball). You could always pick out the uncles, they were the men in a very conservative gray suits, white shirts and quiet ties.
At the last two funerals I attended, more people were dressed in casuals like jeans - especially the men (though the pallbearers wore suits). 'Black' is still worn but not as severely as it used to be. Much has changed.
My aunt always wore white to funerals - she said it symbolized the beginning of a new life. She was buried in a white suit.
Was she Chinese?
I remember reading a humorous piece by an American who was staying with a Chinese family, and there was a wedding. She put on a red dress, and the family was horrified. Red is for the bride. She changed to a white dress, and the family was horrified. White is for funerals.
I would not care. It's just nice that people show up.
At the funeral of my brother, an electrician, some of his coworkers showed up in their work clothes. We were touched that they had come, and no one cared how they were dressed. My brother requested that he be buried in jeans and his favorite sweatshirt, because he only wore a suit when it was necessary. He wanted to be buried dressed as he was in life.
I'm a female who works in IT who has been full time Work from Home for the past four years now. My office when I used to go into the office every day thru the years started with business attire (suits men and women), then went to business casual (slacks and sweaters for women), and then to casual (jeans and whatever sweater or shirt or T-shirt one wanted to wear that didn't have wording on it). Where this puts me is that I don't own much in the way of formal clothing or even business casual clothing now.. Even my church / adult education class has gotten casual and I wear jeans there. The most I dress up is to go to the theatre and I just wear slacks and a sweater.
What I would wear to a funeral is the one pair of navy slacks that own as well as a three quarter sleeve medium gray cotton sweater I own. I also have black shoes that are reasonably comfortable that I can wear with slacks and black socks. I wear the same thing to weddings if I am more of a peripheral person and to the theatre (four shows a year -- our rep theatre where people dress up a little).
For a funeral IMHO -- it's for me just wanting to pay my respects, blend in, and keep shopping to a minimum.
I’m a woman. I dress formally and conservatively to funerals. I always wear either a black or a gray suit with a white top, pantyhose, high-heeled black shoes, and a simple handbag.
Agree with this. Something conservative and low key. However, I once attended a funeral where it was specifically requested that we wear festive clothing/colors. It was nice.
For a younger persons funeral..its usually brighter colours nowadays..
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