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I will never understand women who expect a man to take care of them just because they have a child. Be prepared to take care of yourself and your children, or don't have them at all.
Then who would have children? Seriously, those baby & toddler years are exhausting. Why shouldn't she expect a man care for his own child - which includes caring for her?
My husband was away on business for five days of every week when my kids were babies & toddlers. I was at stay-at-home mom and still single motherhood is not easy for those five days.
If it takes two adults to make a baby, why should only one adult bear the burden?
If it takes two adults to make a baby, why should only one adult bear the burden?
Of course it's wonderful to have a willing partner to help you. But it's certainly no guarantee. I'm just advocating for personal responsibility in the decision to have children.
Of course it's wonderful to have a willing partner to help you. But it's certainly no guarantee. I'm just advocating for personal responsibility in the decision to have children.
I feel like you should have the right to EXPECT to share the burden. However, you need to be PREPARED and ABLE to do it on your own. If you would like to have a child but you know you could not be able to provide/care for it alone, you should be responsible enough to make the right decision. Because in the end, it is mostly the women who do it all/most if the relationship to the dad doesn't work out.
Bringing a child into an unstable environment, where mom hits dad, constant arguments and they don't have enough space - makes no sense to me and is a recipe for disaster. But if they would have been mature adults, they would have used birth control in the first place, soo ... no surprise here.
Then who would have children? Seriously, those baby & toddler years are exhausting. Why shouldn't she expect a man care for his own child - which includes caring for her?
Life has no guarantees. Five high school classmates died before age 50, 4 married with kids. I certainly hope the spouse was capable of taking care of all of them. Alone.
People do not think logically about the 2 decade commitment having a kid means. Before having them.
Life has no guarantees. Five high school classmates died before age 50, 4 married with kids. I certainly hope the spouse was capable of taking care of all of them. Alone.
People do not think logically about the 2 decade commitment having a kid means. Before having them.
No one has a magic ball which tells them their death date. There is no way to logically of a two decade committee. The decision to have children is always a leap of faith.
Yes, four married couples with kids where one parent dies is a tragedy. I'm guessing those children weren't babies/toddlers, but older. Those families had life insurance to cover the expenses of a lost income. It's nothing like raising a child from birth alone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve
I feel like you should have the right to EXPECT to share the burden. However, you need to be PREPARED and ABLE to do it on your own.
You can't be prepared to care for a newborn alone without struggling. You be in two places at once - at work and be home with a sick child. There are half days at school and school vacations to cover. It takes two people - even two divorced people - to successful bring up a child. The idea that it can be done alone, while working full time, is a fantasy.
The institution of marriage was created to protect children. It lays out the financial/child support and visitation rights because raising a child is a two person job.
No one has a magic ball which tells them their death date. There is no way to logically of a two decade committee. The decision to have children is always a leap of faith.
Yes, four married couples with kids where one parent dies is a tragedy. I'm guessing those children weren't babies/toddlers, but older. Those families had life insurance to cover the expenses of a lost income. It's nothing like raising a child from birth alone.
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In general, a good life insurance policy might cover 1-2 years of income. So now, if the 4 were not bread winners, they must take a crash course in becoming one.
You can't be prepared to care for a newborn alone without struggling. You be in two places at once - at work and be home with a sick child. There are half days at school and school vacations to cover. It takes two people - even two divorced people - to successful bring up a child. The idea that it can be done alone, while working full time, is a fantasy.
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I have had several direct reports at work who did successfully raise great children on their own. The first 3 were working for me in the mid 90s, and their kids are thriving, and living upper middle class lives now. Each mom was insistent on instilling great values in them, and each was one heck of a role model.
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