I'm 31 and have barely any work experience. Need help coming up with a white lie as to what I've been doing with my life (interviewed, remote job)
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You could say that you were a professional poker player or sports gambler or something along those lines and that the lifestyle strained relationships or something in your life. This is more likely to work for employers to explain an employment gap than friends who will get to know you better. Some employers might still find this as a negative... but it is better than "living in my parent's basement because I've been lazy and have no drive".
If you do go with this story, I'd research the basics just so you could talk somewhat intelligently about it for a couple minutes in case the person interviewing you happens to be a card player themselves.
Someone might still want to see proof. Those endeavors do generate some paperwork such as 1099 forms I'm sure. Probably other stuff too.
You could say that you were a professional poker player or sports gambler or something along those lines and that the lifestyle strained relationships or something in your life. This is more likely to work for employers to explain an employment gap than friends who will get to know you better. Some employers might still find this as a negative... but it is better than "living in my parent's basement because I've been lazy and have no drive".
If you do go with this story, I'd research the basics just so you could talk somewhat intelligently about it for a couple minutes in case the person interviewing you happens to be a card player themselves.
So "I only have a couple of jobs on my resume" sounds worse than "I was sick with a gambling addiction and destroyed my relationships"?
There is no catch-22 now in many of the jobs that are hiring. The OP needs A job. Any job. Many places at this point are willing to give anyone with a pulse who is generally presentable and can come to work on time a chance. This poster needs an entry level position. That’s likely going to be in retail, a restaurant, or a grocery store setting, which is a place many people end up starting to get some experience in the workforce.
Exactly. I believe when someone really wants or needs a job, s/he will find and get it. When someone is irresponsible, too lazy, does not want to work, that person always tries to find excuses of this and that to not to work.
Even disable people can find a job and work when they want to. I had seen a few people with down syndrome to work at Walmart, Safeway, Salvation Army. I had seen two people who had very physically impaired looks on face and body (I prefer not to describe them) who sat in wheelchair to work in an office at the City Hall. Many years ago, I got a job to take care of those physically impaired mentioned above, to take them out for lunch, to help them to go to the bathroom and bring them back to their offices.
When I was younger (in my 20s with just HS diploma), I was very shy, timid, scared to meet people, but I was alone all by myself, I wanted to, and had to, find a job to support myself, so I had to push myself very hard to overcome all the things above to get a job. I did not mind to work in retails, restaurant, in the kitchen, laundry, housekeeping. Then I went to schools in evenings to upgrade myself, and eventually I got better jobs.
I knew a person who went to university to study History. He wanted to be a teacher teaching History. He could not get a job as he wanted. Then he got a job at Co-Op as a cashier at the beginning. Eventually, he became a manager assistant, and then a manager.
One of my sons who studied engineering. He graduated with honors. After one year of graduation, he could not find a job in his field studied, he applied for many things else and got a job in business/finance. He did not have any experience in this field at all, but he had a good attitude and was good at the interview, so he got the job. He got this job on his own, without anyone to introduce him to the company. I was curious and asked him how he got this job. He said he told the interviewer (who was/is the boss also): "I learn things fast, I can work hard and smart, I'm willing to do anything to perform my job well. I can prove it if you give me a chance." He got hired. I thought to myself "Wow! you are amazing and so lucky too." It's easy for anyone to say what he said, lying or not. But I believe the boss had sharp eyes, could see that he was eager, sincere and capable. It is true that he is smart and hard-working. When he was in HS, he always worked PT on the weekends and summers, and he got good grades in HS and university. He is very responsible. He has been working with this company for a few years already. He can WFH and travel when needed. He's happy with his job, salary, benefits and the company. I'm happy for him. Once I asked him if he felt sad not to be an engineer, he said "I like what I'm doing, so now I don't wish to be an engineer."
The important thing is you need to know yourself, your ability, to find a job accordingly. And if you want to move up, you have to work hard to show your boss that you are useful for him/her, you can help to make profits for the company.
Last edited by AnOrdinaryCitizen; 07-11-2022 at 12:07 PM..
I haven't worked because of social anxiety and partially because of laziness. I'm living with my parents. As far as I see it I can't afford to be honest with future employers or people I meet. The truth is too embarrassing. I may be honest if for some reason I get close to someone. I'll take advice on where do I begin in terms of making money. Also on what do I tell people. I wish things didn't come to this but my choices have led me to where I am today. I wish I didn't had to lie but for now that's my only option.
Hey, at least you're honest about it! One approach is to get jobs that are less desirable and move up from there. I'm not talking about abusive nor hazmat/dangerous ones, but where the commute may be less favorable, or moving to an area that's not as nice (again, not a dangerous neighborhood, but one with less amenities, further away from the city. Bonus here is you can get a place that's cheaper if you needed to move out).
As for "white lie", make sure it's something that's very hard to verify. Don't come up with stuff that can be checked, like a job you didn't work, or a degree you don't have. Stuff like you needed to help your parents with stuff (e.g. cleaning out the house, yardwork, errands, a series of medical appointments. And even then, don't volunteer this if they don't ask and press you for details. Just say "helping out your parents").
OP, I can see the "deer caught in the headlights" look on your face. You're probably overwhelmed as all get out. And what does someone with anxiety do when overwhelmed with anxiety....retreat.
You have come across so well to the people on this post. You seem honest, self effacing and a decent guy. People on C-D want to help you because of who you are. Look at how many posts you've gotten.
Time to put all this great info into the real world. Get some help with your anxiety and probable depression. Something has paralyzed you into inaction.
TALK to someone in your immediate environment. READ them your initial post if you need to. What about talking to the least threatening person you know:
1. Primary care doctor
2. Relative
3. Minister/rabbi/priest
4. Friend/neighbor/family friend
Folks here have given you awesome advice. Amazing how people have responded to you. You come across very well.
But....nest step. Contact people near you who can help you set things in motion.
Good luck. Nothing will ever feel as bad as just sitting there wringing your hands. Take some well needed action.
LOL, for heaven's sake. You think one call to a reference wouldn't blow up that lie?
This young man needs to just get a very entry level, no experience required job to see after all these years he can follow directions, work responsibly and show up as scheduled.
And just who do you think one would have as a reference for someone who played poker online for a living?
I'm not saying it was a great idea. I was just throwing out a workable idea.
And just who do you think one would have as a reference for someone who played poker online for a living?
I'm not saying it was a great idea. I was just throwing out a workable idea.
As an employer, I'm not going to fall for something like that. Maybe I pull out a deck of cards and he doesn't know how to play poker. Or simply can't answer questions. I'd rather have a polite, honest employee than one who makes up stories.
OP, please update us. Have you gone out and gotten a job yet? It would be great to know if you've applied anywhere and talked to any employers.
As an employer, I'm not going to fall for something like that. Maybe I pull out a deck of cards and he doesn't know how to play poker. Or simply can't answer questions. I'd rather have a polite, honest employee than one who makes up stories.
OP, please update us. Have you gone out and gotten a job yet? It would be great to know if you've applied anywhere and talked to any employers.
If the op addresses his social anxiety disability first and in that he goes through a local vocational rehabilitation service, it may be awhile before he is out looking for a job. They will first need to document his disability; then set him up on a job plan. But before that can happen he first needs to get through their door, which at times is not an easy task, because of their case load. Once through the application process, it is a wheel that turns rather slow, but it does turn. Persistence and patience is the key to unlocking that door. It is a wealth of resources, that not too many people know exists within their State. They help those with disabilities lead more productive lives, by placing them with understanding employers.
Last edited by Ellis Bell; 07-16-2022 at 08:25 AM..
Someone might still want to see proof. Those endeavors do generate some paperwork such as 1099 forms I'm sure. Probably other stuff too.
I sincerely doubt that. Even when you give a legitimate work history, most hiring employers only maybe do a quick reference-check call or two. They don't have the time to be sorting through paperwork for every candidate, let alone requesting documents they might not legally be allowed to request (for this purpose).
I think everyone here - including OP - is way overthinking the whole issue. Just say you're entering the workforce late in life for "personal reasons," and leave it at that. If they like what you have to offer otherwise, that won't be a hurdle imo. I had quite a few gaps early in my working life, and nobody ever questioned it. Stuff happens, people have different paths, etc. We don't all work continuously from teenage-hood until we retire.
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