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Not to someone who is a psycho in the workplace and might have a personality disorder, you can't say or do anything to please these people. The OP was fine and professional, I wouldn't change a thing the OP said. M is the problem. I've been working for many years and been in many meetings. I never heard someone behave like M calling out a co-worker like that as being rude with non sequiturs about how much other work they have to do. M having a bad day, maybe, but no amount of re-writing what was said by the OP would have made any difference because there was nothing in there that was rude. The OP could have offered to buy her lunch, and M could have still reached that it was insulting that she can't afford lunch or this is a rude commentary about her diet. We don't know M's history, but if I saw that behavior again after meeting with her one-on-one, I'd put her on a PIP and trust she finds another job before I'd terminate her.
We can't know the tone, and like I said without knowing the tone, the line "Look it up yourself" could have sounded very snotty. We have no idea if anyone there is a "psycho" I think people are projecting.
OP was not rude. They were direct. They don't need to grovel. I'm so busy, I'm so sorry, please forgive me?!?!?! The idea of sending a quick screenshot is a good one.
We all work in companies where they have a website or team site or project site where we can look up information. Sometimes with a search or someone sends a link to a page. That accounting team needs a better process and better documentation. The idea is to teach people to get information for themselves.
Oh, by the way, I'm really busy right now. Could someone email me every time there is a post in this thread? My mom is sick and I'm really to busy to bring up the website.
The accounting tasks at my workplace are very manual. We have an employee named “F” who has to manually enter data onto multiple Excel spreadsheets and then upload as a CSV file into the accounting software. Once the spreadsheets are uploaded, it must be moved to a separate folder to indicate it is done. Some of the accounts payable data is used to generate invoices to clients; it is the biller’s responsibility to keep track of what needs to be done. Employee “F” unfortunately often makes mistakes and often steps away from desk during the workday to handle personal errands. Employee “F” will actually email herself often on what was uploaded/completed and what’s not and then carbon copy the email for everyone to see. This is done to remind herself and to reduce errors being made on her part.
Employee “F” took unexpected time off for three days. I was the one who trained “F” before I was promoted, so I became the backup. I had to complete her job along with my already heavy workload. Employee “M” is a biller at my workplace. Employee “M” often has to step away during the workday due to personal matters (family related). “M” often has to catch up; she likes it when “F” carbon copies her email to everyone.
“M” is well aware how busy I am. During a zoom video call, “M” asked if I can email everyone a comprehensive list of all the spreadsheets that were uploaded while “F” was gone. I told her that I have not been able to keep track of the high volume of stuff coming our way as we begin to close the month. I do not have a list created. I told her if she is not sure what has been completed/uploaded, she can go to the company shared server, look for the “Uploaded folder” and look it up. “M” became upset with me and told me I was being very RUDE. “M” then lectured and told me that she deals with lots of meetings and calls on a daily basis. Never in her life would she allow herself to be so disrespectful and lose composure like I did. “M” told me that I made her blood boil.
I was being straight forward; I did not yell or patronize. I did not have time to create a list like “F” does and carbon copy everyone. I was frantically completing two jobs at once and moving the uploads to the other folder to indicate what was done.
“M” just like “F” is often distracted by personal matter/errands; it’s not a job duty to create a giant list for everyone.
I do not believe I was being rude. I believe “M” did not agree with what I said and telling me I was rude was the hot term of the day.
For those who are reading this.
What do you think? Was I being rude?
Or did “M” interpret wrongly a statement as being rude?
"M" needs to create a scenario where she doesn't get in trouble for not meeting a deadline, so she created you as her scapegoat. And bullied you while doing it. Document everything, and deal with it timely (discuss with supervisor if necessary).
"M" needs to create a scenario where she doesn't get in trouble for not meeting a deadline, so she created you as her scapegoat. And bullied you while doing it. Document everything, and deal with it timely (discuss with supervisor if necessary).
It's this. Why did M miss the deadline? Well, of course, it's because Op failed to provide her with the numbers on time - or that is what M would like everyone to believe. But when Op reminded M that it's not his/her job to provide the numbers and that M should be looking the numbers up, herself, that's when M realized that she had to change her strategy - now she's using the Op's alleged "rudeness" to distract from the fact that her own work is not done. M sounds like a pill.
I don't consider the stated words rude. "M" put you on the spot in the meeting by her request for an e-mail recap and you pushed back that is wasn't necessary. I believe she was embarrassed by your statement that she could look it up herself since the inference is that she wanted you to make her job easier so in her eyes it was "rude."
A way to sidestep this inference is to simply state that you will not be able to do an e-mail recap and those with a need for the information will need to access it directly from the file uploads. . . . no excuses that you are too busy and that she could do it herself. Make it less personal.
Last edited by Maddie104; 06-09-2022 at 03:08 PM..
There are some people who either refuse or don’t understand how to do something like this. And they don’t want anyone to know. I wonder if they are like this.
You were direct and said "No", and explained why. M, who is selfish, didn't like that. SHE was rude to dismiss your own workload, and ask you to do something she can do, herself. And if that made her "blood boil", she needs to find another job.
Just apologize. “ I’m sorry. I can be a bit direct at times and it wasn’t meant to be rude “
I agree that it can’t hurt. I can see the next conversation being 30 min long to explain a 5 min issue, just so they’re not too direct.
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