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Old 08-04-2021, 06:18 PM
 
28,764 posts, read 19,060,611 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by evening sun View Post
Proceed as normal, he may feel that the excess weight is contributing to the fatigue, which it probably is. Of course he shouldn't have mentioned it, but if it's a small firm, & family run, they may consider you part of the family, & families do say such things to each other.
This.

Quote:
I would just forget about it, & carry on with your job.
I wouldn't forget about the advice, though. If one is not feeling well and is clearly obese, it's time to see a doctor about that and take some measures.
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Old 08-04-2021, 06:21 PM
 
28,764 posts, read 19,060,611 times
Reputation: 31097
Quote:
Originally Posted by IShootNikon View Post
Speaking to the choir here, but many positions don't have backups and thus the reason why employees don't feel any relief taking time off.
As they used to say frequently in the company I recently retired from, "Anyone can get hit by a bus." When I was in the military, it was "Anyone can take a bullet."

A company that is not prepared to do without any given employee is a poorly managed company.
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Old 08-04-2021, 09:47 PM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
6,972 posts, read 4,448,108 times
Reputation: 19073
In a big company OP could probably go to HR and that guy would be in a bit of trouble (or worse). Kind of a big no no these days to talk about this stuff in the office especially to subordinates.



In a small family company, the only recourse is probably to find another job as given the structure there I doubt a complaint to his boss (his mother) would have any notable effect.
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Old 08-05-2021, 09:30 AM
 
6 posts, read 4,710 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by K12144 View Post
I don't see where it's the supervisor's place to be "concerned." OP has decided it's more than they want to do to work weekends anymore, so they told their employer they no longer want to (and it really doesn't matter why, whether they want to start playing pickup soccer on weekends, spend time with a child or family member, or just want to sleep in). Supervisor decided that OP must have some sort of issues that need to be solved in order to keep them working weekends. OP. Just. Doesn't. Want. To. Supervisor's response should have been "Okay, we will figure out how to cover that day with someone else from now on." If supervisor was "concerned," they could have said, "Is everything okay? If not, please let us know," and then dropped it.

Notice the OP told manager they were stressed and burned out, and rather than being concerned for the OP's mental health-- as most people would do-- it was immediately "oh it must be because you're fat." Most people here did the same.




OP said they left early for a Covid test, and I assume took the next day off in case it was positive. Took time off-- "the weekend" they say, which means they were off Saturday (which is only half a day), Friday, and a couple hours on Thursday-- for the first time in years; not exactly a significant amount of time. That's going to put a job in peril??? What would this company do with someone who has kids who get sick, who has chronic illnesses, actually got Covid, etc.?


Many people "burn out" on their jobs, or do not want to work extra shifts/weekends, and it has nothing to do with their physical health. It's interesting that so many people are assuming it does, though, just because OP mentioned they are overweight. Had they said, "I feel burned out from my job because those extra hours make it hard to work on training for my marathon," I bet nobody would have been concerned about their health.

The amount of negative judgment and conclusions jumped to on OP because they happened to mention they were overweight is staggering.

Thank you for this. I haven't done a follow up post because I'm blown away by some of the responses, and not in a good way. Some of you have gotten it, and I appreciate that.

And to be clear, my M-F position is a totally different position than my Saturday shift that I picked up about 1.5 years ago when they needed a new person to start covering their tiny store-front on Saturdays. Prior to that though I worked M-F full time and Saturdays for two different veterinary hospitals. So it's been a few years with maybe 10-12 Saturday's off total. 15 if I'm being generous with myself. And the only extended time off I took was 2 years ago for my brothers wedding out of state, and that was a Friday and a Monday. I have not taken an actual extended amount of time off in YEARS.
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Old 08-05-2021, 09:31 AM
 
6 posts, read 4,710 times
Reputation: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by K12144 View Post
I don't see where it's the supervisor's place to be "concerned." OP has decided it's more than they want to do to work weekends anymore, so they told their employer they no longer want to (and it really doesn't matter why, whether they want to start playing pickup soccer on weekends, spend time with a child or family member, or just want to sleep in). Supervisor decided that OP must have some sort of issues that need to be solved in order to keep them working weekends. OP. Just. Doesn't. Want. To. Supervisor's response should have been "Okay, we will figure out how to cover that day with someone else from now on." If supervisor was "concerned," they could have said, "Is everything okay? If not, please let us know," and then dropped it.

Notice the OP told manager they were stressed and burned out, and rather than being concerned for the OP's mental health-- as most people would do-- it was immediately "oh it must be because you're fat." Most people here did the same.




OP said they left early for a Covid test, and I assume took the next day off in case it was positive. Took time off-- "the weekend" they say, which means they were off Saturday (which is only half a day), Friday, and a couple hours on Thursday-- for the first time in years; not exactly a significant amount of time. That's going to put a job in peril??? What would this company do with someone who has kids who get sick, who has chronic illnesses, actually got Covid, etc.?


Many people "burn out" on their jobs, or do not want to work extra shifts/weekends, and it has nothing to do with their physical health. It's interesting that so many people are assuming it does, though, just because OP mentioned they are overweight. Had they said, "I feel burned out from my job because those extra hours make it hard to work on training for my marathon," I bet nobody would have been concerned about their health.

The amount of negative judgment and conclusions jumped to on OP because they happened to mention they were overweight is staggering.

Also, I took the last few hours off last Thursday, and was going to be "unavailable" Friday to recharge, whether it was positive or negative. I ended up working half the day last Friday anyways, but was not available via phone. Because there is no one else that does my position.
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Old 08-09-2021, 01:43 PM
 
2,704 posts, read 2,788,266 times
Reputation: 3980
Did anyone maybe consider that the OP is stressed out? Stress can contribute to weight gain.

With that said, you really need a vacation OP to take care of yourself.
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Old 08-09-2021, 02:52 PM
 
22,233 posts, read 13,399,799 times
Reputation: 37722
Quote:
Originally Posted by deposite View Post
Did anyone maybe consider that the OP is stressed out? Stress can contribute to weight gain.

With that said, you really need a vacation OP to take care of yourself.
I got the impression that the extra weight wasn't a recent thing (just since she hasn't taken enough vacations). Some react to stress with a reduced appetite and weight loss. Some don't take vacations for years and it doesn't bother them. We're all different.

The point as it relates to this thread is that she opened the door to a personal conversation by divulging personal information, which resulted in personal advice.
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Old 08-11-2021, 06:16 AM
 
22,963 posts, read 19,594,479 times
Reputation: 18825
Quote:
Originally Posted by G-fused View Post
Working 6 days/week for a long time would affect most people in a negative way. I would guess that the supervisor was trying to help by suggesting weight loss programs so I would try not to be upset or embarrassed. We all need to take care of ourselves physically and mentally as best we can. Best of luck OP.
No. It is totally out of line for a supervisor to comment on anyone's body.
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Old 08-11-2021, 08:21 AM
 
37,867 posts, read 46,516,863 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tzaphkiel View Post
No. It is totally out of line for a supervisor to comment on anyone's body.
Where was it stated that the supervisor did that?
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Old 08-11-2021, 09:14 AM
 
2,045 posts, read 1,135,848 times
Reputation: 3829
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tzaphkiel View Post
No. It is totally out of line for a supervisor to comment on anyone's body.
I think it depends on the relationship with the employee, but it does border on inappropriate. However, if anyone thinks for a second that their employer isn't gauging the health of their employees and making decisions based on that, they're fooling themselves.

Welcome to employer-sponsored healthcare, folks! If you're an elevated risk to their health plan, you better believe you're on their radar.
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