live with parents save money or find a job here and be independent? (benefit, bill)

[Roselvr]

I think most people didn't realize the OP replied to Citykid after each question. I almost didn't see it either. I'll separate the OP's replies from the questions Citykid asked him.

Originally Posted by Citykid3785

A couple of questions to further the discussion.

Where do you want to be (in life, not physically necessarily) in 5 year?

Originally Posted by FeistyCar7

i would like a long term relationship and or have kids by that time

Originally Posted by Citykid3785

Where do you have more friends

Originally Posted by FeistyCar7

honestly most of my friends are scattered around the USA so I don't have a lot of friends in either location to be honest

Originally Posted by Citykid3785

I'm assuming your single? What's your desire to find/meet your future spouse

Originally Posted by FeistyCar7

Would like to find future spouse soon

Originally Posted by Citykid3785

To me, this question is less about moving in with parents and more about moving across country, which is a big task for anyone.

There's a saying, "you can never move back home," implying that while you can move back home, things change and it will never be exactly the way you remember it.

Originally Posted by FeistyCar7

yeah moving back home wont be the same at all. All my friends are gone. I do have a lot of family there. But my relatives annoy me.

Originally Posted by Citykid3785

To me, I would try and think less financially, and more about which locale you want to put roots down in. If you met your spouse, would you rather start a family on the East or West Coast?

Originally Posted by FeistyCar7

I would like to start a family in the west coast.

Originally Posted by Citykid3785

I think you'll make it either way financially, and there are too many unknowns (spouse, kids, future housing situation) for you to assume that over a 5 year period one area will net you more money.

Originally Posted by FeistyCar7

I would like to be in a long term relationship or have kids by that time

The OP wants to set roots where the parents are so my advice is go back home. Honestly, to me, there is nothing wrong with a guy moving back in with his parents after he finishes college. While the OP says he finished without a huge amount of debt, the OP still has debt that needs to be paid back. The worst thing that could happen would be that the OP couldn't find a job to pay back his loans like what happens to way too many young people these days; then the debt quickly grows. I have to say I'm proud of the OP if he has a small amount of college debt.

Go back home. As usamathman advised, pay off as much of your debt as you can; I personally think you should live with parents and pay it all off; while you're doing that, put a certain amount of money away from each check that could go towards a house payment for when you start your new life off with the woman who will have your children.

Once you start having kids, you won't be able to save as much money as you could while single and living with your parents.

The biggest issue I see if you were to stay on the East coast would be meeting someone, falling in love; then your girl friend or fiance may not want to move to the West coast because her roots are on the East coast.

Originally Posted by USNRET04

I would offer your folks some money to help at least with your food and maybe utilities. If they say no, then at least you can do chores for them...mow the lawn, wash dishes, etc...

But make sure you make this a short term goal living with them. Long term, save money and set a date to move out on your own. You will be happier in the long run. But in the mean time, I like the idea of reconnecting with your parents.

I agree that the OP should be paying some sort of rent, even if it's $100 a month; or doing something to help out so he's not freeloading on his parents.

Originally Posted by gentlearts

I assume that as a nursing student you have been working at a hospital? Have they offered you a job after you graduate? I ask because my granddaughter is a senior nursing student who has a part time job, and a promise of a full time job after graduation, at the hospital where she did her clinicals. She will take advantage of this offer, rather than move back to her parents, like her brother did, in order to pay his student loans.

If you go home to your parents now, will you be able to get as good a job? Do you know, or are you just assuming? I have spoken to nurses here who say that the hospitals here will not hire nurses unless they have a year of hospital experience. If so, you should stay put at least until you are experienced enough to be desireable to any hospital.

Great advice that the OP really should consider staying put if they're offered a job after graduation.

Originally Posted by FeistyCar7

I currently live far away for school. I am graduating soon and need to figure out my next plan. My parents live alone on the west coast. All of my siblings moved out so they tell me to move in with them where I can get free food, free housing, and basically not have to worry about anything. Just work and save money. I don't have a lot of loans to begin with.

Other choice is live on my own on the east coast (where I currently live) and be independent. I will be a registered nurse so decent money. I can do whatever I want whenever I want. I am 28 years old will have a decent job. I know the smart thing to do financially is live with my parents. I can save so much money because the state they live in nurses get paid better and I can live a comfort free lifestyle and retire early. Or I can try to make it on my own here which is multiple states away. I tend to be frugal person and the thought of just being able to save a lot of money and retire young would be great. However, it comes at an expense. My parents are chill people, but when I think about how my life was back where I used to live it was really boring. The pro is that they live in a populated city and my income would be a lot higher there as opposed to living out where I live right now.


Anyone who has taken either paths? how did it work out for you? It seems like choosing saving money vs choosing independence. one path i can save money spend time with my aging parents and nephews or be independent with feeling lonely at times and build my own life.

Where on the East coast are you?

[NDak15]

Originally Posted by Bobdreamz

I love all of these "be independent" comments here.
Immigrant families do this all the time in order to make their children successful.
It seems like his situation is amicable to both parties so why not?
A "leech" is somebody who doesn't have a job or career, sits at home playing video games while not helping out financially.
The OP is no leech.

Living at home for any reason other than disability or helping out disabled or ill parents is leeching. Besides, if you're dating and want to get lucky don't you want to not be in the same house as your parents?

[Jdawg8181]

Originally Posted by NDak15

Living at home for any reason other than disability or helping out disabled or ill parents is leeching. Besides, if you're dating and want to get lucky don't you want to not be in the same house as your parents?

How is it leeching if you are working, paying all your bills & helping with the chores? Financially it's a smart decision.

[Flyers Girl]

Originally Posted by tnff

It's not a binary option. Just considering the United States alone, there are 50 possible states to move to. Hundreds/thousands of cities and towns where nurses can get jobs in those 50 states.

Find a job in any of those thousand places and move there. Maybe you'll love and stay forever. Maybe you'll do a couple of years and move on.

However, even if your move back to the city/town where your parents are to get a job DO NOT move in with them. Your most important role at 28 years old is to be an independent adult.

Agree. You're almost 30 years old. You should be on your own.

[reneeh63]

Originally Posted by FeistyCar7

I currently live far away for school. I am graduating soon and need to figure out my next plan. My parents live alone on the west coast. All of my siblings moved out so they tell me to move in with them where I can get free food, free housing, and basically not have to worry about anything. Just work and save money. I don't have a lot of loans to begin with.

Other choice is live on my own on the east coast (where I currently live) and be independent. I will be a registered nurse so decent money. I can do whatever I want whenever I want. I am 28 years old will have a decent job. I know the smart thing to do financially is live with my parents. I can save so much money because the state they live in nurses get paid better and I can live a comfort free lifestyle and retire early. Or I can try to make it on my own here which is multiple states away. I tend to be frugal person and the thought of just being able to save a lot of money and retire young would be great. However, it comes at an expense. My parents are chill people, but when I think about how my life was back where I used to live it was really boring. The pro is that they live in a populated city and my income would be a lot higher there as opposed to living out where I live right now.


Anyone who has taken either paths? how did it work out for you? It seems like choosing saving money vs choosing independence. one path i can save money spend time with my aging parents and nephews or be independent with feeling lonely at times and build my own life.

Why is it smart to move back in with your parents? 30-40 years ago, no one would have considered it smart, they would have thought it strange unless the parents were in bad health or something. At least then, the thinking was that kids are supposed to become independent at some point parents get to do their own thing too! Have you even talked to them to see if they WANT to take you back? Don't assume anything - they might be chillin' themselves and don't need a kid around to cramp their style. Don't YOU want to live on your own?

BTW - it may be more painful to save money when living on your own but it's not an either/or choice as you seem to think so don't make excuses for yourself not wanting to give up anything at all in order to save while renting.

[Jdawg8181]

Originally Posted by reneeh63

Why is it smart to move back in with your parents? 30-40 years ago, no one would have considered it smart, they would have thought it strange unless the parents were in bad health or something. At least then, the thinking was that kids are supposed to become independent at some point parents get to do their own thing too! Have you even talked to them to see if they WANT to take you back? Don't assume anything - they might be chillin' themselves and don't need a kid around to cramp their style. Don't YOU want to live on your own?

BTW - it may be more painful to save money when living on your own but it's not an either/or choice as you seem to think so don't make excuses for yourself not wanting to give up anything at all in order to save while renting.

30-40 years ago was a different time.


30 years ago my parents house was $50k, now it is $500k. Both parents are now having to work whereas when I was born (early 80's), one parent typically stayed home.


Home prices have grown much more than wages have thus making it far more difficult for young people to afford to move out.

[reneeh63]

Originally Posted by Jdawg8181

She will likely not be starting out with 6 figures though.

Jeez - there are VERY few places in this country where you need 6 figures to live! So what if she makes "only" $50k? It's not unheard of for women to have a roommate, especially for some professions like nursing that are shift work.

OP - you're young - work as many extra shifts as you can - make the big bucks! Live cheap with a roommate - that's what young adults do. They don't sponge off their parents.

[reneeh63]

Originally Posted by Jdawg8181

30-40 years ago was a different time.


30 years ago my parents house was $50k, now it is $500k. Both parents are now having to work whereas when I was born (early 80's), one parent typically stayed home.


Home prices have grown much more than wages have thus making it far more difficult for young people to afford to move out.

Sure it was...but did the OP mention major debt? Nursing is high demand, many jobs offer signing bonuses and repayment of some loans, etc. She's not a psych major who's gonna be a social worker for $25k for heaven's sake! She doesn't have to get a house immediately - I didn't - I didn't buy a house until 5 years after getting married - big deal! Like most adults, you don't start out with the same standard of living as your parents have after 30 years of building a career. "Salad days" is what they used to be called.

[gentlearts]

Like I already said, in a different way, it is purely a financial decision.

Most parents, including us, would house a college grad kid if if it meant they could work nearby, and pay off their loans. We are not talking a dead beat, but a kid with a job. My grandson did this. He paid off his loans in 18 months and lives at home. Now he will look for a house to buy, and then move out.
Grand #2 will graduate next year. She already has a job after she graduates, but will take longer to pay back her loans, since she will need to live on her own.

[BusinessManIT]

Originally Posted by gentlearts

Like I already said, in a different way, it is purely a financial decision.

Most parents, including us, would house a college grad kid if if it meant they could work nearby, and pay off their loans. We are not talking a dead beat, but a kid with a job. My grandson did this. He paid off his loans in 18 months and lives at home. Now he will look for a house to buy, and then move out.
Grand #2 will graduate next year. She already has a job after she graduates, but will take longer to pay back her loans, since she will need to live on her own.

Yes, parents and kids decide what they want to do. If the parents want their kids back home then the kids are not leeching, no matter how they live at home. It is a financial decision and only the parents get to decide. It is their money, they can do anything they want with it and no outsider gets to judge them.