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Once someone posts a criticism, then the floodgates of criticism open on C-D. I'm glad she took it in stride, because it was no big deal, imo. Many molehills are made into mountains at the first opportunity. There are certain posters who can be expected to be critical and I notice several managed to read your post and contribute their usual negativity.
Yes, it is out of line to playfully insinuate that your boss is flirting with you. Basically you just made yourself look like a jackazz.
By the way, the twirling hair thing is not flirting, it's nerves or concentration. I do it all the time when I'm thinking (usually alone at the time, so NOT flirting), or nervous/fidgeting (like on a long boring car ride). What IS subconscious flirting is PREENING, i.e. smoothing your hair or carefully placing it just so, or flipping it over your shoulder like a shampoo commercial.
I'm in my store alone right now and I was just flipping my hair.....not flirting with anyone....My hair was stuck in my hood and apron!
Mods, if this does not belong, please move. But it's about flirting.
I'm at work today and was discussing something (work- related) with supervisor.
So as we're wrapping up our discussion, she's sitting behind her desk, playing with her hair - just lightly tugging at the strands. We concluded our talk, I turn to leave her office, and impulsively - I don't know what the hell possessed me to say this - I look at her and say, "Oh, incidentally...didn't you study Psychology in college?" She said yes. So I say, "Not to take this the wrong way, but the tugging at your hair when you're speaking with someone...that's a flirtatious gesture." She looked at me levelly without a word; I said to her, "I studied Psych and the findings of Freud as well as body language!" Think I may have floored her, but meant no harm.
Was I wrong?
Let's just say, if you were to get a call from HR in the near future, I wouldn't be surprised in the least.
to he op.....yep unfortunately you were wrong,,,,,,mostly because you are a man,,,and therefore a creep and predator, the feminists have won this battle....
sounds dumb??? no, because sexual harassment is the INTERPRETATION by a female coworker..not intent ..
I find this subject very comical,,, for 10 yrs we've been having "cultural awareness" meetings essentially,,,men don't even tak to women on a personal basis or look at them wrong,,,because it can be sexual harassment..
however,,,the comical part is women can do and say whatever they want and its just about ok
I notice women wil casually put their hand on my shoulder, arm , smile flirtatiously,,, and all is fine,,,,but if I did the same ,,,its a different world...
op,,,,do NOT ever make any types of those comments again....
she will probly call you in her office ....and counsel you on boudries,,,, she doesn't want you going to a male coworker saying she was flirting with you...
prepare to be neutered..
Sorry to burst your "he-man woman-haters club membership motto" but as a female anti-feminist-feminist, this has nothing to do with an off the cuff statement to a special snowflake. The comment was inappropriate for both the setting and the reporting structure. Get over yourself and your need to blame everything on political correctness...in most cases, I might agree with you, but not in this case. Dude was wrong and needs to know it! If a female employee told made a completely non-sequitur comment to her manager that dealt with body language, Freud and flirting, I would have the same answer....NOT a professional move at all!
Folks, I've been lambasted here in the forum to the four corners of the earth and back. I get it, I get it. It was an inappropriate remark!! Luckily she took it in stride.
Then you are right. Your psycology is correct. Please proceed as per plan..
Try again. Tugging at, or playing with one's hair is a proven sign of flirtation. Have you ever studied body language?
You take your study of body language a bit too literally. Yes, tugging on hair CAN be a flirtatious signal. It could also be a personal habit one has when he or she is deep in thought. It could also mean her head was itchy and she was avoiding scratching it around another person. Or you were making her want to rip her hair out and she was trying to control herself.
In any case, if I were your boss, I would take your comment as somewhat rude and certainly unnecessary. In fact, depending on the tone you used delivering your statement, I might assume you were flirting back. Were you?
Mods, if this does not belong, please move. But it's about flirting.
I'm at work today and was discussing something (work- related) with supervisor.
So as we're wrapping up our discussion, she's sitting behind her desk, playing with her hair - just lightly tugging at the strands. We concluded our talk, I turn to leave her office, and impulsively - I don't know what the hell possessed me to say this - I look at her and say, "Oh, incidentally...didn't you study Psychology in college?" She said yes. So I say, "Not to take this the wrong way, but the tugging at your hair when you're speaking with someone...that's a flirtatious gesture." She looked at me levelly without a word; I said to her, "I studied Psych and the findings of Freud as well as body language!" Think I may have floored her, but meant no harm.
Was I wrong?
You actually have to ask us if you were wrong?
Ummmmm....yeah, you were way out of line.
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